Coming At Ya From The DIrty South . . .

So, I find myself typing this in the ATL; no snow on the ground, able to wear just a hoodie, and enjoying the fam. I feel as though I have so much to write about, but just haven't had the time to sit down and blog about things as of late.

Back in the Quip the Lord continues to teach me and challenge me daily about His character. I mentioned in my last blog about asking myself the simple question, "What would Jesus do" in this particular situation or that particular situation. On a much, much deeper level than ever before, Jesus has taught me about His compassion, His love, His patience, His Holiness, His forgiveness, His pursuit, His heart . . . I could go on and on. My friend and I were talking the other day how living in the Quip opens your eyes more than you could ever imagine in regards to literally seeing the difference between our Savior and us. Immediate conviction. Now, I know you're probably saying, "Steph, I don't need to move to the Quip to see the difference between God and me." I understand that. I am just trying to make the point that I am so very thankful for the vast and obvious difference between Jesus and myself.

Last Thursday during our youth group, we found ourselves in small groups worshipping God. One by one you would hear the voices of our youth speak aloud who God was to them; "provider, healer, perfect, forgiving, holy, loving . . . " This time of worship without a doubt pierced my soul. Too often we forget to take the time to sit and worship God for who He is to us.

During this Christmas season and beyond I encourage you to sit at the foot of the cross and worship the Lord. That may look different for everyone; writing a letter, singing, speaking, journaling, ect. We often say in the Quip that worshipping the Lord is the very beginning of coming back into the arms of our Savior.

Love deeply.

Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, Wisdom

The pursuit of Jesus after His children is the exact reflection of unconditional love; not to mention the crucifixion. There have been numerous situations that have arisen here and afar lately that have taught me, or at least made me think more and more about unconditional love and what Jesus means by that. Are children or adults supposed to love or forgive a father or mother "figure" in their lives if they left them to fend for themselves? Are they supposed to continue to attempt to make amends with authority figures who have crossed them over and over again, bringing deep scars and wounds that will last a lifetime? Are children supposed to stay in pursuit of these individuals as Christ did for us and continues to do for those who don't know Him or have fallen away from Him? Forgiveness and unconditional love, or wisdom? I don't know the answer.

I see firsthand the effects of children's lives when again, their mother or father "figure" have failed in their life. Emotional scars, trust issues, a lack of communication skills, depression, questions, deep rooted pain, fronts, anger, unfortunately I could go on and on. What do these children and young adults do? Though cliche, I truly wonder what Jesus would do? I find myself at times giving guidance, that quite honestly seems unrealistic. It is so much easier said than done; forgive, love. How do you go about forgiving someone who made a conscious decision to leave your life the second they found out you were conceived (not to mention, them trying to jump back in your life 16 years later)? How do you forgive someone in your life who has chosen to love crack, alcohol, or any addiction more than they love you? Do you forgive everyone who has purposefully crossed you? I know Jesus did. Do you love everyone who has purposefully crossed you? I know Jesus did. Or, do you seek out wisdom in dealing with the situation at hand, knowing every circumstance is different.

I think there is a magnitude of power behind these words: unconditional love, forgiveness, and wisdom. I think these specific words reflect the difference between our Savior, Jesus Christ and His people. Where we are afraid to put our heart out there and hurt, Jesus loves; where we want to hold a grudge, Jesus forgives; where we want to take everything on ourselves, Jesus provides wisdom. God, I pray that you will intercede for your people; that through the cross, we will find the strength to live as you lived.

Love deeply.

Randomness Yo!

I know a lot of the times my blogs are a little heavy, so I'm going to throw a little remix here and go a little light. Hopefully! :) This weekend I got to spend some time with my crazy Aunt from Maine. (That's a shout out Aunt Donna!). She came in to visit a long time friend and decided to head to the Quip for a little but. I showed her around the community and then we headed to the Strip District downtown with the rest of the crew here. Don't worry guys we didn't strip, though I was tempted to. I love the Strip; it's just a bunch of kind of cheap stores and street vendors. I had me a good ole pulled pork sandwich to bring me back to the dirty south, while it was snowing mind you! We had a lot of fun though!

And then there is Sunday; church. So those of you who know me pretty well (K & H I know you're laughing because I just said that), know that I'm not real good, AT ALL, in formal, serious settings. Well wouldn't you know that I had to read and light an advent candle in church, with one of our youth. I was doing pretty good until we had to read together as a congregation. All I could hear was Joel (co-pastor and director of A.I.) reading either faster or slower than I was. Basically, I lost it and couldn't get it back together. Imagine that! HaHa. So, I kind of just had to stop reading, turn around and laugh while I am lighting a candle. You know, laughing while lighting a candle to signify the preparation of Jesus' birth probably isn't a good thing in a traditional church. BUT, for me and Jesus - that's our relationship! We got jokes on each other!

Alright, prayer requests: Please pray for my sister and the fam as she prepares to bring baby Cole home later this week. Cole needs to come, because I have had 2 dreams the last 2 nights that he has already arrived. Also, please pray for Angela. We have not seen her in about a month. Unfortunately, we think she is in jail. We have, as ridiculous as it sounds, "Mugshot Monday" in our local paper. It was a very dark picture, but we thing her mugshot was in there. However, I am praying that if it is God's will for me to keep in contact with her, that He will somehow get me on the visitation list to see Angela.

All that being said, I am bracing for the cold weather. Actually, I prepared for it last night by running down the street with a bikini on. It was 10 degrees last night, and didn't phase me at all. I'M A SOLDIER!

Love deeply folks, love deeply!

True Love

So I found myself sitting in a prison today with a heavy heart. Let me explain. I took two kids, ages 18 and 19, with one of their children, 3 months old, to see their mother in jail. The mom was incarcerated in September. God crossed this family and Aliquippa Impact's paths a couple of years ago. I met the 19 yearn old girl and her son for the first time the week of Thanksgiving. As I sat in her living room listening to the conversation between her and another AI staff member, I had to hold back tears. They were talking about her mom; how she was doing in jail and so forth. The second I met this girl, God burdened my heart for her. I could feel a sense of God crossing our paths for a reason. It will be interesting to see how God builds the relationship between me and not only the young lady, but her family as well.

While I was sitting in the waiting room at the prison all I could do was pray; pray for the children, pray for the grandchild, and pray for the mother in prison. It was definitely one of those surreal moments; I am expecting more and more of these moments to rise up during my time here in the Quip. The crazy thing about all of this, is that I have a sense of peace over this family. I feel that even though they may not know God yet, God is starting to soften their hearts in preparation for an encounter that cannot be denied. Though I am sure it will be a process, I am looking forward to seeing what God does in the heart of this family.

Let me just remind everyone that God is in the business of redeeming His people. His number one desire is to draw people to Him. Though some people may take a different road than others in coming into a relationship with Christ, He invites us to come as we are . . . whether that be a crack addict, a prostitute, a lover of money, a house wife, a businessman, one of high economic status, one of low economic status, a heterosexual, a homosexual, an adult, or a child. Christ yearns to love us just as we are. He is madly in love with us, and in this I find true peace.

Love deeply.

"Social Prison"

"Social prison" is the term that has been used in describing Aliquippa, by one of the board members of Aliquippa Impact. Here in the Quip it is almost as if the world is against individuals. In a community which has been overwhelmed by addiction, violence, homelessness, broken families, and poverty, I can see from an outsiders perspective how men, women, and children may lose hope in the future. As we prayer walk throughout the streets, make home visits, and interact with others, you can look into the eyes of people and see the hurt and pain that dwells deep within their soul.

Wherein lies the question; How do we help? How do we share the love of Christ to people who have lost complete hope, due to the environment in which they grew up in? How do we help someone understand that Jesus loves them so much incredibly more than the love they feel for the crack addiction they have? How do we get someone to grasp the fact that God, our Heavenly Father, will never leave them nor forsake them as their earthly father has done? How do we get someone to understand that the family atmosphere and the adrenaline high from joining and living a gang lifestyle is nothing compared to the high you will receive eternally when you come into a relationship with Christ?

Here's the answer. We can't, but God can. As I have stated before in my blog, ministry has taken on a whole new face here in the Quip. A minute by minute reliance on God is a must. Prayer is priority. It is fascinating to see what role we play in the advancement of the Kingdom by prayer alone. So we go forth, sitting at the foot of the cross, wiping Jesus' feet with our tears, praying for God to make Himself more and more attractive to the people of Aliquippa. We pray for miracles. We pray for transformations. We pray that God will do things that we could never in our right minds think that He can do . . . And then we TRUST.

Love deeply.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U79YOKje2zU -- This message will change your life and challenge you in your prayer life. I have watched it over and over again.

Community

God show me what community really is in your eyes? This has been my prayer for a long time now. I have always heard people's definition of what community is, but quite honestly I want to hear, see, and experience what real community is through the eyes of our Lord. As I look back on the last couple years of my life there are certain experiences which God revealed to me as true community. From having a Thanksgiving dinner with our homeless homies downtown, to taking care of each other as my family does, to our neighbors this past summer cooking meals for us, to people crying out for me in prayer, to meeting the needs of others as in a beautiful collision of friends and Gwinnett Estates back in the ATL; these are just a few to say the least.


I knew coming to the Quip I would be right in the middle of the vision God sees as community. I am reminded of this daily here in the Quip, but last night I couldn't help but thank God for the "community" He has surrounded me with. Every Sunday night our group has a prayer meeting for the city of Aliquippa. We eat together, we laugh together, we pray together, we cry together, we repent of our sins together; all without judgement. It is during these Sunday night prayer meetings where I see God's vision of community come to pass. I am learning more and more about the power behind this word, "community." I am thankful. I am very thankful for God to answering my prayers consistently. So with that being said, just wanted to give a shout out to my community here that has my back! Love you guys and am so thankful for you!

Love Deeply!

"You Laugh and Share Stories with the Thief and the Whore"

"I'm a crack addict and a whore, and I hate my life." These words came from my friend Angela's mouth today. Last night at our prayer meeting we cried out for Angela for a good bit of time. Identity, release of bondage, redemption, were a few of the words that continued to come up. I went to bed last night broken, for I spent time with the Lord throughout the day just crying; crying out for Angela and for others. And again, we interceded for her at the meeting as well.

This morning I woke up and went to my car. As I glanced to the left I saw Angela. I was headed to the post office, so I said a quick prayer; "God if you want me to speak to her, then keep her on that corner." As I drove back quite honestly I was a little hesitant to see what the Lord was going to do. Before I knew it Angela was crossing right in front of my car. I yelled out the window to her. She came right up to my window, extremely frustrated. "I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, and I have no money, please give me five dollars." I could tell the desperation in her voice. I tried to calm her down. "Please, she begged." In my experience with people off the street, I have never given money to an individual. I felt this situation called for a different action. "Just give me a ride to my "house." I finally got Angela to calm down while praying under my breath for her as we spoke. "Angela, Jesus loves you, I continued to say over and over again." Angela at this point really opened up to me. She spoke about different things. "Angela God has a plan for you." She said I was a "really nice person, because I always spoke to her."

Right before I dropped her off, I asked her, "Angela I saw you on the corner the last two nights, is everything ok?" As I said before, she went on to say, "no, I'm a crack addict and I'm a whore, and I hate my life." I told Angela I was praying for her, I told her she's more valuable than being a whore. She closed the door.

A couple hours later, while walking down the street, I saw Angela get into a car with a guy by her corner.

Later in the evening I saw Angela again standing on the corner. I couldn't resist going and talking to her. My friend Joey and I walked over to talk to Angela. I said, "Angela do you want help with your crack addiction and your prostitution?" To make a long story short, she basically said "yes." She said "yes." I continued to reiterate to her that God is bigger than the addiction, He is bigger than the prostitution. I told her I pray that she finds her identity and hope in Christ; and that I would help her. "Angela, I'm not going to pressure you with this crack stuff." She said, "Yes, you need to, because I have a problem, and I like crack."

Six months ago I did not know Angela. It has been a tough pursuit in getting Angela to talk to me. I feel the trust has been built. Now, I find myself at the foot of the cross crying out for her. I am trusting for God to orchestrate a miracle; because that is what it is, a miracle. Our God has the power to do just that. So I come to you right now, asking that you join me in praying for Angela and her life.

. . . Trusting in our Lord to transform the life of a crack addict, whore; who will soon find her identity as a child of the Most High God.

Love Deeply.

"Give and Take"

So, this week I have learned about the phrase "give and take." First of all, I do want to warn you that this is one of those blogs that you just might not like; not like, in the sense that you may not agree with me, your convictions may be different from mine, or you just may be challenged. I came across two situations this week that really taught me a lot; one of which I will explain, one of which I will not. I bought my first pack of cigarettes this week; before you freak out on me, I did not buy them to smoke, I bought them to distribute . . . to distribute, WHEN ASKED, in order to advance the Kingdom that is. Give & Take, let me explain.

Those of you who kept up with my blog this past summer know about a woman named Angela. She was very hard toward me at the beginning of the summer, and softened up toward the end. I have prayed for her since the day I first came across her. My friend Steve and I were prayer walking on Tuesday. We prayed that God would cross our paths with Anglea again. Wednesday I saw her. We talked, I told her "Jesus loves you" as I always have, and that I was praying for her. She seemed humbled, but in a hurry to get away as she always has as well. Before she leaves me, it never fails that she asks me for either a quarter or a cigarette. I don't ever carry money on me here walking the streets and I don't have cigarettes; until now. A thought came to me, as it has before chilling with the homeless in downtown ATL . . . if I carried cigarettes around and someone asked me for one, it would give me a chance to talk to them. Give & Take. You want a cigarette, sure, but you have to sit and chill with me.

I found myself praying over the box of cigarettes this morning. I truly believe God will open up conversations with people on the streets that will eventually lead to Him. I am confident of this. What I am learning here in the Quip very quickly is that ministry takes on a whole different face, if you will. A face that whether you like it or not will lead to the advancement of the Kingdom in some way, shape, or form. Pray for Angela. Pray for the people I will get to talk to over a cigarette. Pray for transformation in the people of Aliquippa! Praise Him!

Love deeply.

Made It Safe and Sound

So picture this: I'm chillin in my kitchen typing this with my favorite baggy blue sweats that I cannot live without and everyone tries to steal, a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie, and a beanie . . . oh yea, and my space heater running up in my room getting it nice and toasty for me; ha, and it hasn't even gotten cold yet. But really though, atleast I can find humor in it right!?! So, as the title says, I obviously made it safe and sound with the parents. My Mom and I had fun nagging my Dad the whole way here. We got to the Quip Friday morningish and started moving in and hanging pics, and doing all the stuff you do when you move in somewhere. Well, 3 days later I'm all moved in and it looks like a house a must say. My parents were such a huuuge help with everything; I could not have done it without them. (Shout out). Thanks again Mom and Dad if you are reading this.

After 2 or 3 hours full of Frogger (yup, I said Frogger) with the crew last night I got to chill with my two little sisters Tanaya and Tiona (ok, they're not too little, they could maybe beat me up - pssyyyccchhh), along with crazy fool Joey this afternoon. Well. maybe Joey slept most of the time; but it was a blast. Then, went to prayer meeting tonight. All I can say is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I know God is going to stretch me here as I have said before in ways in which I cannot imagine; many challenges, pain, and difficult times ahead, but more importantly much rejoicing over the advancement of the Kingdom of Heaven than anything else. Basically, I'm confessing that I will take the hard times without a doubt to see individuals come face to face with our Lord and His beauty.

Love deeply.

Quip, It's Time

Well folks, tomorrow is the day. I'll be leaving early in the morning and arriving in the Quip sometime Friday. The reality of moving is here. The journey of this next step with Christ is beginning. Though I know I will be stretched in more ways than I can probably imagine, I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do. Thank you so very for joining me in this invitation to serve the Lord. I cannot begin to thank you enough for your prayers. Please continue to pray for me daily. I will update specifics on prayer requests when I get up there. Thank you once again.

Love deeply.

5-Points, It's Where It's At!

My beautiful friend Heather and I headed to downtown ATL yesterday in hopes of hooking up with our homeless friends. I wanted to say bye to the group of guys I had built relationships with over the last couple of years. We were expecting to see one of them, Copper, but we ended up seeing Malik as well. Malik has one of the most genuine and beautiful hearts on the face of this planet. He is sweetness to my soul. I believe God had us go downtown just for him, and in turn me as well. I see Jesus through Malik's eyes. There is just something about Malik that screams, yet whispers, "Christ's love." He calls me his sister. I call him my brother. It is amazing to see how two completely different people, from two completely different backgrounds can bond in such a way that cannot be broken. Even though Heather and I didn't see everybody I would have wanted to see, we saw exactly who we were supposed to see. I will always cherish the bond I have with my guys downtown. They have taught me so very much about what is really important, slowing down life, genuineness, true relationships, and most importantly loving people for what their soul reflects. I will miss them tremendously.

I have been reading through 1 Peter and have been so encouraged by the truth and richness of God's words through Peter. I encourage you to read it or revisit it if you get a chance. I am so thankful for the Lord meeting me exactly where I am right now. It is such a peaceful feeling knowing that our God is so big He can meet all the needs of this world, yet He is so small that He will sit right beside us and meet us exactly where we want Him to. In this season of prayer and preparation He is and has continued to do just that. I am so thankful for this and so thankful for Him. 6 days and counting. Please continue to pray for me as I seek out the Lord in this journey. Love deeply.

SNOW ALREADY . . . PSSSHHHHHH

Two weeks from today I will be packed in the front seat of a U-Haul with my Dad and Mom headed up to The Quip. Supposedly, it is going to snow there this weekend! My friends up in Aliquippa have decided to make a point of telling me how freezing cold it is and when it is snowing or going to snow! They are so encouraging to a girl from the dirty South who sees snow once every 5 years or something. :) What am I getting myself into?!?! Ha, with all that being said I have started hoarding snow apparel and cold weather apparel. If you ever come up and visit me, I might not answer your phone call, but you will be able to find me sitting face to face with a space heater on HIGH! The other night at my support party, my beautiful friend Melinda was praying for me. Her exact words to start off the prayer were, "Lord, we love you and we pray that in the -20 degree weather you will give Steph peace." MELINDA AND EVERYONE ELSE: LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT IF IT IS -20 DEGREES MY BUTT WILL BE BACK HERE IN THE DIRTY SOUTH IN A QUICK, AND I MEAN QUICK SECOND!!!!!!! :)

How am I feeling 2 weeks out? I can't really grasp my emotions right now. It seems as though I am still running around trying to get little things done, or I am just pushing my feelings to the back burner. I don't know which it actually is. However, I am excited! I am ready to enter into this new chapter that the Lord has scripted over my life. I was encouraged the other night at the support party; it made this whole thing official. Since then, I have been able to breathe better. Fresh new air. Jesus; that's what He is to me, fresh new air.

What do I have to do to get ready? Everything is pretty much packed. I just plan on enjoying these last 2 weeks with the fam. You know the usual, getting "clawed" by Bubba, getting screamed at by Blakey. You gotta love this stuff :)

I ask that you begin praying for transition to the Quip and transition for my family as well. I know it will be hard on both sides, but God is good and He will give us peace. Please also pray for beginning thoughts and discernments on exactly which areas the Lord would have me focus on; this will be a process. That's it for now though. Thank you again for all your prayers. I covet them. I love ya'll and appreciate all the support. Love deeply.

As Little Children Do . . .

Last Spring my family and I were enjoying a hot Georgia day in the front yard of my parents house. My sister had just bought an Elmo sprinkler for my nephews, Alex and Blake. Basically, you attach the hose to a flat, plastic circular tarp that has Elmo staring up at you. The water sprays out of the sides up into the air. Alex, the oldest of the two of course loved it. He had no fear. He would run from one side to the other through the water, laughing hysterically and screaming at the top of his lungs. Blake on the other hand was fearful, hesitant. He would run up to the outside of the water, stop, scream out of fear, and run back where he came from with tears in his eyes. He would try over and over again. Everyone was encouraging Blake, yet there was still the same outcome. Again, he would run up to the outside of the water, stop, scream out of fear, and run back where he came from with tears in his eyes. Finally, Paul, his dad, went up to Blake reached out his hand and said, "come on Blake, I'll go with you." With lightened up eyes and a huge smile on his face, Blake said yes to the invitation and began running by his father's side. As they got closer to the sprinkler Blake continued on, but closed his eyes while running through the sprinkler. After he realized what he had done, Blake paused, looked up and let out a huge laugh, and said, "again Daddy."

So it is with me, taking a lesson from my nephew; saying yes to the invitation, taking my Father's hand, closing my eyes, and trusting that my Lord will guide me and direct me to the end. Oh how beautiful our God is!

I apologize for not being on point with this blog the last two weeks. I have been extremely busy getting support letters together, meeting with people, making phone calls, and beginning the overall process of heading to the Quip. I would ask that you please and always keep me in your prayers. I covet them! It is official, I will be leaving the weekend of October 30. The Lord has blessed me with the exact place I want to stay, which will be ready for that weekend. Until then, I have plenty to do, but am resting in the presence of our beautiful God! If you are reading this blog and in any way want to support me in joining Him, please contact me. I thank you all so much ahead of time for all you are doing and will continue to do on this journey. Love deeply.

Joining Him . . .

He hears the cries of His children, and He answers. As you know I went back to the Quip this past weekend. The surprise was a success, great time and fellowship with friends was had, and conversations that were prayed over, only by God's grace also took place. I told you I would update when I got back, so here it is: I'll be headed to the Quip long term no later than Nov. 1.

There are some pretty heavy things that happened this weekend that I feel like I need to share. I have been praying over this trip hours upon hours and I also know others were praying for me as well. It is by no mistake that I saw the people I needed to see and talked to the people I needed to talk to. My prayer throughout this has been, "Lord speak to me." Simple, but so powerful. This weekend I felt as though He spoke once again; through the eyes of our 78 year old neighbors from the summer, through a 7th grader who asked me to be her mentor, through oh so innocent yet extremely tough questions asked to me about the love of God (I will get into this in a second), through a young girl which I built a relationship with over the summer who ran up to me with her arms wide open for a hug, through hearing a personal testimony of a former drug dealer, through seeing Angela walk the streets, through having that gut wrenching feeling of leaving, and through looking into the eyes of individuals who are so loved by God, but don't have a relationship with Him YET. As I said, He has spoken. There is much to start thinking about and working out, but my number one focus is continual prayer for preparation. I will explain more of this in a later blog.

I was faced with some really heartbreaking questions in a conversation had while still in the Quip, concerning the love of God. Does God really love gay people? Does God love people who hate black people? To be quite honest with you in relying on the Holy Spirit to speak through me I don't really recall in detail how I answered those questions. I can say the first question was a lot easier to answer than the second question even though the answers are the same; Yes. I have had this awful feeling of sickness in my stomach since then. Why? Because I feel as though God's love will never be fully understood by believers and unbelievers alike. I'm just trying to be real here. I know as believers we have encountered the love of Christ, but still don't come close to grasping the love of the Father. I can't imagine what is going through the heads of those who do not have a relationship with Christ yet. It hurts. It hurts that they don't know the Love. As I personally continue to seek after the love of Christ and the characteristics of His love, I ask that you join me in prayer for those who have never encountered this beautiful gift. Love deeply.

More to come, concerning details of the Quip.

The Weekend To Come . . .

I know last Monday I said I was going to blog at the end of last weekend to share some updates, but I didn't. Owell, that's the life of a blogger right? Keeping you on your toes since I know more than 1,000,000 people are reading this right?!? Just playing. This weekend however, oh shoot I just realized something. Ok, for the next part of this blog I am going to kind of have to beat around the bush, because there are some surprises in store for this weekend, and by all means I'm not about to ruin that in a freakin blog. So lets see ... this weekend I am going to a specific part of the country to visit long lost friends :), surprise some folks, and talk about future plans in ministry. Now that I started this blog, I kind of wish I hadn't because this is probably really annoying to read. Sorry.

Anyways, I am really excited about the weekend. I have been in continuous prayer and communion with God about this weekend and my future. As I said last week, I am feeling more and more led in a specific direction. I have learned and been convicted a lot lately that this decision is not impacted by the voice of others and their opinions, but it is an utmost call of God on my life. His voice; that is the only One that matters. So I go into this weekend praying for discernment and wisdom in hearing the voice of our Lord in my life. God has revealed Himself to me through reading Exodus and the life of Moses. One thing about our God if you do not know is that He is sovereign in His timing. This I am so thankful for.

I would ask all who are reading this to please be in prayer for me and the upcoming weekend. As I said I am praying for wisdom and discernment. I am also praying for intentional conversations that need to be had with people I have built relationships with in the past. This will only be done through His guidance and direction. Thank you ahead of time for praying for me. I know God will reveal Himself to me in a way in which cannot be denied. I will keep everyone updated in the weeks to come obviously. Hope all is well. Love deeply.

Back from AZ

Well, made it back from AZ late Sunday night. It was a blast and a much needed just chill trip! God definitely revealed Himself to me, as well as everyone else I think. This is going to be really short, because quite honestly I'm just not in the mood to type or talk much. I have a fever blister on the side of my mouth that is turning into the Grand Canyon and I didn't get much sleep last night. However, as I said God spoke in a very clear way to me this trip and I am looking forward to blogging about it later in the week. Just wanted to give everyone a shout out though so you wouldn't think I forgot about this little blog. Looking forward to a pretty chill week with the fam! Hope all is well for everyone out there. Love deeply. 1Peter 4:8

"Just One Touch of Your Favor Is So Much Greater"

As I mentioned in my last blog, I'm back. Not meaning back in the ATL. But back, as in where I am supposed to be in the Word and where I am supposed to be in my prayer walk. It is such a peaceful feeling when you are right with God, when you dwell in the presence of the Almighty. This past week was good. I am finding the importance of spending time with family and friends, because quite honestly I don't know how long I will be here. It was a great time on Saturday playing on the slip and slide for Alex's birthday. I mean I think when I am 80, I will still want to scoot down a slip and slide for my birthday - those things just don't get old! I love my family and I am so very blessed to have their love and support day in and day out.

Tomorrow I will be going to see one of my best friends in AZ. KJ, shout out! Even though it will not be a Tres Leches reunion :( I cannot wait for the prayer time, meaningful conversation, and encouragement. I think this next week will be a telling week for all involved. I know God is going to speak truth to us and through us. There are no words to explain how it feels when you get together with friends and your spirit just flows. Friends that understand each others hearts without saying a word. These are the friends you need to keep by your side. Friends that will last a lifetime.

And of course, what is the progress with where I am? One of my main prayers is for God to speak through people to me. I truly believe in this, for God has used people in the past that have led to humongous decisions for me. There have been two occasions that I truly believe God was speaking through people to me in the season that I am in right now. Praise Him for that. As of right now I feel that God definitely is pulling me in the direction of the Quip. I have found that my prayers have gone from a full out "God guide me and direct me," to "Lord, prepare me." With this being said, I am not at a 100% go right now. I still need to spend time in prayer. How long will this season last? I have no idea. I am assuming sooner than later. Please continue to pray for me as I seek out where the Lord is calling me, and until then please pray also that I will be submitting to the call of where I am in "the now" . . . that my friends, is to love deeply.

My Sister Is Brilliant!

Kris: "So people ask me how you are doing, and I say, she doesn't talk much. Read her blog, it says a lot."

This is the most profound statement I have heard in a long time. So true! Thanks Kris. I wish everyone could get it that easily. Though maybe frustrating to others, I find it easier to write out my heart, rather than try and speak it. I'm just not one to talk much on certain things I guess. I know it's all out of great hearts that people want to know how I am doing; I really really appreciate that, TRULY. But I guess if this kind of thing really gets to you, you might need to talk to my Creator, He's the One who did it! HAHAHAHAH! Ya'll are just part of a huge prank between me and JC! Suckas!

Actually this past week has been very hmmm, how do I want to say it; humbling perhaps. This is all in a good way as well. I have been forced back into the Word and crying out prayers through a situation that was just brought across my path early last week. And I praise God for it. He has drawn me close to His heart, very close, and for a while there I didn't feel anywhere near Him. But I'm back and that my friends, is the bottom line. And that alone is reason to rejoice. I've learned once again what it means to be vulnerable to others and to completely have to trust in our Lord. I feel as though if I proclaim that I live, breathe, and talk Jesus, I better start walking Jesus. What does it mean to be real? As believers and the church I really feel as though we struggle with this. We put on our church face and our church attitude and our church front, and we freakin pretend everything is ok. I'm guilty folks. But I'm here to say that Jesus doesn't roll that way. He wants us to be real with one another, transparent, no matter how that may make us look. Our God is sovereign, gracious, and compassionate looking for people who will be real for His Kingdom. I was reminded of that this week. Reminded that if I speak to others about being real, than I better start being real as well. Father, forgive me of those times where I have put on a front to protect myself, rather than being vulnerable and trusting in you.

Alright, where I'm at. (And to you English teachers, not between the a and the t). Shut it. I have been in prayer about my future and will continue to be. I have prayer warriors crying out for me as well. I have no answer for you honestly. I still continue to think about the Quip numerous times throughout the day, every day. My prayers seem to go back to the Quip. Who knows. I am resting in the hands of the Lord, and that's all I can say right now. But the first part of the "song of the summer" definitely sums up my feelings towards the Quip. Yes I know corny but get over it. This song was played over and over again this summer, and I just started really hearing the first part of the song:

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Seems like I'm in a race, but already won first place
I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did

Again, I know crazy, but that spoke to me in a way. Ha. Now I know ya'll are thinking I'm insane! Some of you might be saying, what about Africa. As you all know, Africa is my heart and passion. At the same time, I feel at peace about Africa right now. When I think Quip, I think an urgent need. I think of God calling a specific people group to joining Him in advancing the Kingdom. I think of restoration. I think of our Father's hand resting upon a community in need of a Savior. I think of myself helping bridge that gap. However, I still don't know. I'm still facedown in prayer about it and trusting in Ps. 46:10 and Acts 17:26-27. Amen and Amen. Until next time, love deeply!

Even Now Here's My Heart Lord

Ahh, deep breath. So, real right? I've been back for a little over a week now, and I don't know what to think. Literally. I either have about 5,000 things going through my head at a time or I just want to sit in front of the television and watch mindless shows. Those of you who know me, know that's not normal. So I'm struggling, but little by little the peace of our Lord is becoming more and more evident to me. I realize that a lot of my struggle deals with just wanting to serve our Savior, and that's not necessarily a bad thing - but I also have to learn to take time to let God restore me. I think I am a lot more worn down physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually than I think I am. Even in saying that, I know I need the peace and grace of God to meet me where I am right now. And I believe He will.

I went to Berkmar today, being a little hesitant to tell you the truth. It was super hard leaving that school, I didn't want to leave the kids! I can't ever put into words the feeling of when God truly teaches you to love others. I think it was during my time at Berkmar where God truly showed me who He was and where I truly fell in love with His children and His people. Praise God for that. It was such a blessing to get smiles and hugs from everyone there today. I pray that God's hand will continue to rest on BMS!

And that's it for now. The end. Love deeply.

Home

Hmmm. Well I've made it home, barely. I woke up at the airport to "last and final call for fl. 283" - I had to run to my gate. So good to see the family! I got home yesterday at about 11:30. Having pulled an all nighter the night before I slept all afternoon and then ate dinner with the fam at the rents house. Today I slept and fought Facebook trying to upload all my pics. It's done now though.

As following the original idea of this blog, "being real," I don't necessarily know what to think about being home. I OF COURSE love seeing and being around my family, but it was EXTREMELY hard leaving the Quip. In the short time I have been home, I have only been able to think about one thing from the summer and that is this, what do I do with the relationships I have built over the summer? People just started trusting myself and the staff towards the end of the summer. Two of our girls came to faith the last week, and God without a doubt was working on other's hearts as well. Then all of a sudden, it's a goodbye and I don't ever know if I'll see you again. I don't know what to do with that. That's to say the very least heartbreaking to me. There is so, so very much more to process from the summer. I expect to process for a long time coming honestly.

What are you going to do now? (this seems to be the question I am getting from everyone). I made a promise to myself that I would not do or make any decisions for at least a month after I returned home. I knew I would be coming off of a high from the Quip, and did not want to make any decisions off of emotion . . . if that was the case I probably would not have left the Quip to tell you the truth. I can say this, I just want to be in the utmost center of God's will. I know people are praying for me and I find comfort and peace in that.

Love deeply.

Skinny

Belle Glade, Fl. : Thursday afternoon we were broken up into 2 small groups. We were given $20 and told to pray about how we were to use the $20 if we were to use it at all. Our groups consisted of 2 leaders and 4 of our students. Before I go any further with the story I want to tell you about a guy we met earlier in the day while doing street ministry (you'll understand the connection in a little bit). His name was Skinny. He was a tall slender man, who looked like he hadn't bathed in a few weeks. There was dirt built up in his fingernails, and his clothes were filthy dirty. His hair probably had not been washed in a long, long time. We talked with Skinny, handed him some water, and asked in which way we could pray for him. He definitely loved the idea of us praying for him, but did not want us to do it right then. We obliged and parted ways. Back to the afternoon. Our small group started praying by praise, thanking God for who He is. After that, we started praying for the city of Belle Glade. Following the prayer time we would discuss how we felt that God was leading us. Through our prayer/discussion/prayer/discussion we came to very specific areas where we as a small group felt that God was leading us: a group of run down apartment buildings, males in the community, hygiene products. This led us to one last time of prayer. At the end of the prayer time, God laid on our hearts the man we had met earlier on the streets, Skinny. This was in line with everything else we felt God speaking to us. He was a male, we met him in the same area of the apartment buildings, and he needed hygiene products.

We proceeded to the store to buy a hygiene gift bag for Skinny. When we left the store, we were going off of faith that we would actually see this man again. We looked at the gas station, we spoke to people on the street, we talked to more people on the street, we drove around asking people; nobody had seemed to know this so called man named Skinny. Our team was getting frustrated and the doubt was starting to creep in. We rode up on the chess courtyard where a group of Haitian men were playing. We asked if they knew a man named Skinny. In their language they spoke back and forth and back and forth, and then all at once they started pointing in the same direction of the gas station. There were apt. buildings across from the gas station where they said he lived; which would make since of why he was hanging outside the gas station. We drove to the apt. building and asked a group of people if Skinny lived there; they said yes. Our team instantly became excited. An old lady was outside of the apt. where Skinny supposedly lived. After talking to her, she let us go inside. What happened next, I will never forget in my walk with Christ:

I was the first one in and noticed there was absolutely no furniture in the apt. I was getting confused. The lady led us into the back room where a man laid motionless on a hospital bed. He was crippled and was not able to hardly move a limb. When trying to speak, we could not understand the man. What we soon figured out though is that this man's name was indeed Skinny and he was in dire need of prayer, along with, believe it or not a hygiene kit. We gathered around Skinny and joined in prayer for his healing and his health in general. I started off the prayer, or rather I tried, gathering my thoughts and emotions together which soon led to tears rolling down my face. All of our kids prayed for this man, along with Joel our leader. After praying we shared the gospel with Skinny and his wife. Though English was not their native language it was evident that this man was hearing every word spoken. Skinny said he believed in Christ and knew that He died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins and to provide us with eternal life. He had heard the truth and believed the truth.

I am amazed that God laid on our hearts through prayer a thin, frail man standing outside of a gas station whose name happened to be Skinny to lead us to the foot of a man in a hospital bed needing the touch of a Savior. Not to mention, his name was also Skinny. Earlier in the day I found myself having thoughts of going and encouraging people in the hospital close to where we were staying. God reminded me of this after I was sitting alone with Him trying to process what had just happened. Our prayer for our kids all week had been, "Holy Spirit make yourself real to our kids, encounter our kids, as well as us." What I know is this, when our small group walked out of the apartment building humbled and numb to our souls, God revealed Himself to our kids in a more than real way. He encountered us and wanted us to join His Holy Spirit in a room filled with the presence of our Savior. Our kids, along with myself and our other leader saw Christ face to face in those moments we were there. Our God heard our cries. He is faithful to his people. I am completely humbled to think that God wanted us (a group of people from Aliquippa, PA) to join Him in that room with Skinny. I praise Him for His call to care for His people. A God that is living, a God that is compassionate, a God that is loving, a God that will sit with a man on his hospital bed. We serve a God who is worthy of praise! Amen and amen!

Tanaya, Tiona, and Some Crazy A Mall Ball

I cannot believe I have a little over 2 weeks until I head home. I am at open mic night right now, enjoying some good amateur singers and some awesome fellowship. Our days here are dwindling down and I have to say my heart has been hurting a good bit about that lately. It seems as though people and kids around the community are just now starting to trust us. Which obviously is a little disheartening, considering we are leaving shortly. I don't really know how to deal with that. The staff as a whole has been prayerfully believing in God that He would break down the walls of individuals in this community. He has answered those cries. The question is, what do we do with this now; the broken down walls and the softened hearts are hard to leave at this point. These are just initial thoughts to a healing/debriefing time I will end up going through.

Tonight I probably had the most fun I have had since I've been here. We took two of the girls (Tanaya and Tiona, twins, 16) who we work with, out to what we thought would be bowling and dinner. Bowling alley was closed, go figure. We ended up going to the mall and playing in the arcades for about an hour. You will be glad to know that I dominated in all of the games :) By the time we left I think all of our stomachs were hurting because we laughed so much. However, the best was yet to come. We won a couple of bouncy balls in the arcade. In this moment, the now famous game of Mall Ball was created. 2 ways to play. Here are the rules. First part, throw the bouncy ball as high as you can in the middle of the mall, first person to have possession of the ball gets a point. Needless to say, we were dodging people, jumping over benches, and having people duck in the process. IT WAS AMAZING. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out. Really. (This is an awesome way to set a good example for those who your are building relationships with :). Second part of the game, get in an enclosed area of the mall where an entrance is. We were surrounded by 4 walls (there is the initial doors to enter the mall, and then about 10 yards away, the second set of doors). One person throws the ball as hard as they can having the ball bounce around the 4 walls like a pin ball machine; whoever gets posses ion of the ball first wins. Everything is fair game. Elbows thrown and people laying on the ground - its amazing. Again, this really was one of the most fun games I have ever invented/played. And I have video to prove it! Which is even funnier because those who decided to watch us probably thoughts we were psychos considering they couldn't see the bouncy ball, just 3 people running back and forth, jumping in an enclosed area. INSANE! My stomach hurts today from laughing so hard!!!

Last thing, we leave for Florida tomorrow at 7am. We will come back on Aug. 3. Please keep us in your prayers as our group will be ministering to the people of Belle Glade throughout the week. Even though the drive will be a little challenging for this A.D.D. kat, I am looking forward to the trip and super stoked to see some familiar faces :) :) :) you know who you are. Alright, I'm headed out with that. Again, please keep our Fl. mission trip team, along with the remaining staff members in the Quip in your prayers. Until next time, which will be in over a week, love deeply.

BREAKTHROUGH, ANGELA

So I almost cannot wait to write the rest of this blog, but I just wanted to let you know I am half awake typing this as well. We had a lock-in with our kids at the church last night. It consisted of movie time in the chapel, dance party in the chapel, food, and a lot of hide and go seek! All and all though, it was a pretty good time.

Ok, for the meat of this blog. This morning when I was walking back from the lock-in I saw Angela. Those of you who are keeping up with the blogs, you know I have asked for much prayer for Angela. If you haven't, here is a quick summary: always on the streets/corners, very uneasy spirit about her, wears same clothes over and over again - my complete assumption on this situation is that she is homeless, a prostitute, and an addict of some kind. Leading up to this week her interactions with me have been very hardening; no eye contact, very frustrated with me, and almost an attitude of why the hell are you talking to me. This of course has led myself along with others praying for her to pray even harder. The main prayers for her have been for a softened heart, salvation, and her finding her true identity. I saw her earlier in the week, which was the first time in a while. Her spirit was still a little standoffish (i just made that word up). I felt like I had hit a wall with her, not knowing really what else to talk to her about and ask her in our 2 minute convos we usually have. I walked away saying I just need to be bold with her. God put it on my heart that I really have nothing to lose.

A couple days later I saw here again, we had a normal 1-2 minute convo and then I started walking away. God stopped me in my tracks and reminded me of what He had laid on my heart. I turned around and said Angela, "I want you to know that we are still praying for you, and that Jesus really does love you." Her reply was simply, "thank you." We walked our separate ways. Which brings me to this morning. As I was rounding the corner heading home, I saw Angela in the distance. "Holy Spirit lead me," I said. She waved at me first before I made any comment to her. This alone is a breakthrough my friends. She usually sprints the other way, which is funny to me. We carried on the most beautiful 2 minute conversation we have ever had. I don't know if this is the result of her seeming sober/not trippin off of anything or what, but it was such an encouragement to me that God is softening her heart. What came next has pretty much left me numb up until this point of the day. Before I walked off, she said to me, "I am sorry for all the previous times, I really am." That is all she needed to say, actually she didn't even need to say that. I know God has grabbed a hold of Angela's heart. He is molding it and shaping it and softening it, to eventually take in the gospel. Angela agreed to meet up with me this upcoming week, so I will be interested to see if this happens. No I am not being pessimistic, I just know some of the reality of street life. I am asking you to join me in prayer for the crossing of paths this week with Angela. That God would truly pierce her heart in remembering that we are going to meet up and of course that if it is God's will He will give me that opened door to present the gospel. Please keep me in prayer as well regarding this specific situation. Matthew 10 says, "do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the spirit of your Father speaking through you."

So a HUGE praise God for His faithfulness to His children. Amen. This week coming up will be extremely busy. We have some specific hang out times with individuals we have built relationships with throughout the summer, on top of the regular schedule. Also, we will be in preparation for heading to Florida for our mission trip with the kids. The plane ride didn't come through, so I expect ya'll all to start fasting and praying for me now thinking about driving 22 hours in a van with middle school kids! hahahahah - Hope all is well for everyone, I can't believe I only have 3 more weeks left here. Love deeply.

Randomness and a Little Shaking Up the Kingdom

As I said in my previous blog, we took some kids to Sandcastle this past weekend. (a water park here in Pitt) I will say this, to all you Texas peeps out there Sandcastle has nothing on Splashtown!!! We had a blast though! It was so good to just chill and have fun with the kids instead of disciplining and such. We have a busy week coming up, so I wanted to make sure I got at least one blog in. We of course have camp throughout the week, but we also have a lot of preparation for our upcoming camping trip this weekend, along with our Mission Trip to Florida next weekend. The funeral for our staff member's cousin is on Thursday, so we will be attending that as well.

With all that being said I just want to throw a BIG PRAISE up for something that happened last week. For those of you who know Drea, she started building a relationship with one of the kids here a couple years back. Last Friday while on a field trip this particular girl was acting out of the ordinary behavior wise. To make a long story short, Andrea had to sit with her in timeout during a field trip. Timeouts can go really good or really bad; this is a prime opportunity to get to know kids on a one on one basis and really pour into them. Through Caliente starting off the conversation with, "my uncle is with God," Drea was able to share the gospel with this child. A relationship between Caliente and our Savior was made. As I stated last blog, there is so much bondage, sin, oppression, and addiction in this city; but make no mistake about it Jesus Christ has claimed victory over Aliquippa! He will continue to reach down His hand and restore individuals one by one. Without a doubt, Jesus is hearing the cries of His children for the redemption of His people. Praise Him.

That is all for now. More later. Love deeply.

Go Read Psalm 100!

What up from the Quip! I have to type fast! We are leaving to go to Sandcastle (a water park) with seven of our kids here in a little bit. Wow, it's going to be a long day, but a blast! This past week was pretty interesting. First, my dear friend Andrea (from the north) came with two of her friends to help serve this past week. They were such a help with some things that needed to be done with day camp. It was so good getting to see her and spend time with them. Ya'll are awesome if you are reading this; if you're not reading this - then you're not awesome - blahaha! I must say though the most memorable moment of the week with them and a couple other innocent peeps was Wednesday night ..... a reservoir, no one around, and perhaps some swimming. Yes, swimming - we'll leave it at that!

This week however has brought some piercing situations for us here. Four kids were kicked off of our mission trip for certain reasons. This is a huge deal, trust me on this. I can't go into detail, because of the time. Also, a couple of days ago there was a shooting here in the Quip that took a life of one of our staff member' relatives. This was the 2nd cousin who was shot and killed in the last month. He was shot three times, one in the head. Our staff member grew up and lives here in Aliquippa. It has been an incredibly hard couple of days obviously for her and the community as well. From what I understand it was gang related. We as a staff are planning to take a day off next week to attend the funeral and support Chrystn. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. There is a lot of hurt right now in this community; the only way to combat this is through prayer.

Make no mistake about it that God is working here and His presence is being felt more now than ever through the streets of the Quip. People are noticing and seeking after who this God is. Praise Him. We are at a point now in the summer where hearts are being softened toward us and people are understanding that we are here to help, care for, and serve. This obviously gives us opportunity to share the gospel and speak truth to the beautiful people in this city. God has really spoken loudly to me this last week of how precious my relationship with Him is; how no one can take that away from me, how He is my Constant in my life. Psalm 100 says, "enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise." Amen and amen.

Dang, I have to go now. Sorry. I, once again am so thankful for each of you. Please know that I think about ya'll often throughout the days here. My return date is August 9. It will be very bitter, sweet. Please continue to lift myself, along with our staff up in prayer. We need it! Love deeply!

Philly, NYC and New Jersey in 48 Hours

I needed a breath of fresh air and I got it this weekend. Two of my crazy friends (Drea & Joey)and I decided Friday night at 7:30 (when we were supposed to be planning a camping trip for one night) to take a spontaneous road trip to all these cities above. Well, actually our destination was Philly, and then while we were in Philly we said, “well we might as well go to NYC” . . . and don’t ask how we got to explore New Jersey. Anyways, we stayed with my Grandma and Aunt Friday night and with Drea’s relatives Saturday night. We arrived at both places at around 3:00am in each city. We definitely extended our weekend to the utmost! It was so good to see family and hang out for a little bit! My Philly fam, if you’re reading this I love ya’ll and thank you so much again! We hung out in Philly Saturday. Ate cheese steaks, pretzels, ice cream, oh and explored the history of our forefathers. I know you are laughing at me now. We decided to also hit up the Simple Way, founded by Shane Claiborne. If you have read Irresistible Revolution – you know who and what this is. It was such an encouragement to hang out there even though we never talked to anyone. Off to NYC after that.


NYC was great. We had a little detour the night before, so we couldn’t spend as much time there as we originally wanted. It was AMAZING THOUGH. When we stepped foot on the streets of NYC it was worth it all! We had some pizza, bought some stuff and just really chilled there. A fresh of breath air indeed.


I think we all learned something on this trip, which made it all better. Though extremely hard, I love the feeling of being stripped of everything and having to rely completely and wholeheartedly on God. We had to do this. And it was great. We laughed and we loved. I am so thankful for my friends not only here, but everywhere. I am thankful that I got to spend a weekend with Drea and Joey. It was a trip to remember and I would do it all over again in a second. I think we learned a little about ourselves as well as each other. Joey, thank you again for allowing yourself to pour out the grace and love of the Father to others that He has poured out on you. Drea, thank you for being genuine and true to yourself, but most importantly thank you for allowing yourself to be used by the Lord in the ways that you do. Words cannot begin to express how genuinely thankful I am for having the opportunity to serve beside each of you this summer.


So that’s that. 48 hours of fun! Well, maybe a little frustration too, but SO WELL WORTH IT. Please continue to lift us up in prayer. I love ya’ll deeply!

Thoughts & Updates

Hey folks - hope this blog finds all of you doing well. Some updates for you. We finished Leadership Camp last Friday. I miss our kids already. We are now in the transition process of beginning Green Team. This camp is actually run by another non-profit organization. Though things have slowed down tremendously, this camp brings its own challenges as well. Myself and another AI staff member are there to basically help run things. We are struggling with keeping ourselves involved. And trust me on this - we try very hard. The bottom line is it's another program so they have their own expectations/rules/discipline procedures and it just doesn't quite measure up to what we are used to doing. The people we are under are very nice. We are just going to have to be very creative in how we interact with the kids and how we bring the Gospel to them.

Many of you have called and commented on my last post. Thank you for your support and prayers with this. There has been much prayer and faith involved in bringing back peace in my heart. Our God is a sovereign God and we as a staff here at AI have no choice but to trust Him and be in communion with Him on a minute to minute basis; or quite honestly if you don't the enemy will attack. I am so thankful that our Tuesday mornings will now consist of corporate worship and prayer together. We missed that when we were in LC. Yesterday we spent time in deep prayer lifting up specific individuals; praying over them and their chains of bondage. I have learned to be fully and completely dependent on the Lord through prayer here. In a place like this, you are stripped of everything. The phrase 'God Is Your Strength' is brought to a whole new level. Today I was very encouraged in taking a house visit to one of our kids. We went to drop off a permission slip. By the time we left, we were served a meal, had such an amazing conversation, prayed, and invited back. Trips like these to houses are very, very few and far between. As I said, I was very encouraged by the visit and warmth/hospitality the Swanson family showed us.

I want to share with you about a lady, in hopes of you being facedown in prayer for her and her salvation. Her name is Angela. The first week I was here I always saw her walking the streets and standing on corners. Every time I saw her I got a very strong uneasy, unpeaceful spirit about her. God did and has continued to put such a burden on my heart for her. I cannot go a day without thinking about Angela. I began praying for her about the 2-3 week we were here - that God would place her in my path throughout the day. He has. There have been a couple of times where I have tried to talk to her and she will say hi and walk off. Other times she will ask for a dollar, and walk off with a very agitated and frustrated attitude because I won't give it to her. Each time I have prayed for her the words "self esteem, identity, salvation, hope" keep burning inside of me. If I was to guess, Angela is a prostitute who is heavily addicted to some sort of substance. She needs help, she needs Jesus. Please join with me in praying for Angela. Specifics: that God would continue to cross our paths on a daily basis, for her to soften her heart to me, that the Holy Spirit would speak through me, and most importantly that God would open a door for me to share the Gospel with her. I am trusting in God for this to happen before the summer is up.

As we are at the half way point of the summer I have mixed feelings. It's almost as if it has gone so fast at times, and yet so slow at times as well. God has really spoke to my heart during this time of short term mission trips and what, if anything is the point of them. Uh oh, I might have stepped on some toes there. I don't apologize and I will love to sit down and talk to those of you about it when I get home who are curious of what God has laid on my heart. I have learned what Kingdom living consists of and the beauty, as well as the battles it involves. Please continue to pray for me and our staff as we push through this last month or so. Specifics: energy to make it through the day, truth to be spoken to us and through us, intentional interactions, open doors, and a supernatural love which we can reflect to the people of Aliquippa. I cannot express to you haw thankful I am for those of you who have committed to me in prayer. This is the only thing that keeps me going throughout the days. I am having a great time here and I am so thankful that God has brought me here for a specific purpose. You are a treasure to me. Until next time, love deeply.

I Have No Words . . .

Well, I said I would be real at the very beginning of this summer with these blogs, so here it goes. These last 4 or 5 days have been really, really hard here. The problem is that I have no words to explain the stage of brokenness that I am going through. First of all, I am fine, and I want everyone to know that; but I am struggling with certain situations here. I cannot seem to put into words what I am feeling, or to exactly know what those feelings consist of. I know that the feeling I have now, I have only gotten one other place and that is Africa. I can't seem to put a finger on it. Is it frustration for those who have no hope in themselves? Is it being pissed off for an older generation letting a younger generation down? Is it confusion in seeing how sin and bondage goes from generation to generation? I don't know. I have found myself the last couple of days just sitting in the presence of the Lord, I can't seem to muster out prayers, but I know I need to be in His presence. I also know He hears those silent moments before Him, the deep breaths, the tears, the heartache - He hears His children. I know I am learning something right now, but I do not exactly know what. I am sure when I look back on it, I will be able to express it, but right now I can't. I have found myself in specific situation this past week that I have never been in before; spiritual warfare is basically how I can explain it on this blog. I have never experienced spiritual warfare before as I have here. I cannot go into detail about it, but please keep me in your prayers.

That is where I am physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, but I obviously want you to know what is going on with camp. The last days of camp for us were very trying. It seemed as though we were suspending kids left and right. We were faced with some very difficult decisions. As a staff, we were pretty discouraged. However, Thursday was probably our best day of camp - our camping trip was cancelled so we ended up going to a local state park. Even though the kids were super bummed, we had a cookout, and let the kids walk in the river for a good 3 or 4 hours. It was just a great time of staff and kids have tons of fun and wonderful fellowship. And I must say seeing inner city kids walking in a river was very amusing. My favorite quote of the day, "whose bright idea was it to put rocks on the bottom of a creek." I have some awesome pictures - those will just have to wait to be posted at the end of the summer. Leadership Camp is now over; we head into Green Team now on Monday. The way it has been explained to us is that we will basically be doing relational ministry for the rest of the summer. I am excited about that, but know it will bring many challenges.

Today a group of us are going to Pittsburgh and having dinner. I am extremely excited about it; to get out of the Quip and just enjoy each others company. I know this might have been a pretty heavy blog, but it is real. As I said before, I am ok, everything will be ok. I asked God going into this summer that He would draw me closer to Him no matter what it takes. He is doing just that. I praise God for what I am going through now - it is making me cling to Him constantly. I hope all is well in the dirty south or wherever you find yourself reading this. Specific prayer requests: ordained opportunities to share the gospel, intercession of the Holy Spirit through voice and situations, and for me to clearly see what I am supposed to be learning through the situations I face. I love ya'll incredibly. I am confident knowing people are praying for me. I cannot begin to express my appreciation for those of you who are praying. I need it. I covet those prayers. Until next time, love deeply.

Week 2, Day 1

Today was a very long day. I am tired, very tired. My body feels worn down. I don't know if it is from a two hour ultimate game yesterday, half a day at the high ropes course, or all of the above. My heart is hurting due to a situation back home with one of my dear friends and I am repulsed at this very moment with how someone just represented the Kingdom. I just don't get it. However, I have to get to the core of this blog, because I only have 15 minutes.

Camp: we did not have too good of a day on Friday - we had 3 suspensions and the kids were pretty much out of control the entire day. Consequences were obviously put in place for these individuals. Today was a little better, spending time at the ropes course. We did the pamper pole. Basically, you climb a really high pole and jump off of it, putting your trust in all the kids (yikes). It was fun though, long, but fun. I know you're thinking, I wonder if she did it. Well freak yea I did it. It was awesome. I did a reenactment of skydiving. Hoollllerrr! Ah, crazy lady just came in here and told us 3 minutes. I'm going to have to carry this on some other time. Highlights of the weekend: Drea's back, homemade funnel cakes, ultimate, going to see my kids dance, a greek festival (kind of), and lots of laughs while walking all over the Quip! Until next time, love deeply.

The Start of Camp . . .

Well, it's Thursday and we are almost done with our first week of camp. The Leadership Camp has been overall pretty dang good. Quite honestly today was a little challenging; the kids are starting to try us more and more as they get comfortable. However, there are definitely some kids who are really excelling. We are in the process if sewing seeds, rather than seeing the harvest . . . I'm completely at peace with that considering I work with age group throughout the year. One of my favorite times during the camp is small group discussion. The kids are really starting to open up to me. We have committed to each other and ourselves that small group time is a safe place, a real place where we can be raw with one another.

Yesterday we went to the ropes course. We prayed for sunshine, knowing a forecast of strong rain was expected. We had people praying for sun throughout the day. IT POURED! Ha! But God is sooo good and His plans are better than ours. Our kids responded in an unbelievable way. We were drenched the whole time and freezing cold, but our kids loved it. It is such a blessing to see and work with underprivileged kids who don't ever get to do the things we are doing through this camp. Their excitement and joy is pure and genuine. I cannot wait to go camping next Thursday and Friday. It will definitely be trying for our kids, but worth the trip.

God really spoke to me heart today. We have one kid in our camp that is completely defiant and disrespectful. My flesh wants to definitely get in his face and tell him a piece of my mind. (that was G rated for you). Throughout prayer today God spoke to me and said "see Him through my eyes." This is something I have prayed for numerous times for students I work with; without a doubt this may be my biggest challenge. I have also found myself getting impatient. If I am being real with ya'll, it is extremely hard to take a back seat and let others teach when you come from that background. I am asking for prayer in this area. I do not ever want to disrespect another person or step on others toes, I am here to grow just as everyone else. In saying that I need to learn how to approach people or bring issues to the table that need to be addressed. I feel as though I am just babbling here, but bottom line is I need some prayer in that area. Hey, I know the Holy Spirit will lead you in the direction you need to pray for me. Thank you ahead of time.

And that's it. I can't believe 3 weeks is already almost up. I am looking forward to God continuing to blow me away over the remaining weeks. Brokenness and restoration. I ask for it! I love ya'll and miss ya'll. Until next time, love deeply.

Jamyra, Shavar, and a Music Box

Some of you maybe wondering why my title is what it is - well here is the reasoning: I am sitting in a room with two crazy kats that are on staff with me this summer, and one of them just asked where the music box was. Apparently a music box is a CD player! So that's that and one word to describe each of them from what I know: Jamyra, real; Shavar, genuine.

Sorry for being a little late on this blog. Our leadership has started really locking down on some rules due to a couple incidences this week. Basically, I am going to be a bit more limited on internet access starting next week. For one, we start camp and for two we are to be nowhere by ourselves. Before everyone starts freaking out on me, everything is ok. Well I say ok, in terms of knowing and resting in the protection of Christ. Along with that though, I know believers all around the world take the risk of safety to further the Kingdom. I will say again, what I have stated before in previous blogs, I have never felt threatened walking the streets here. I am at peace. I also know by saying that, things could change in a second. It's all good folks. When it is all said and done, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!

Enough about that, we start camp on Monday. This past week we have been making house visits to all the kids and their families. It has been great getting to meet all of them. We all know how kids act in front of their parents, but they all seemed cool and pretty well mannered. Our LD (not learning disabled :)) (leadership development) team is really looking forward to starting. We have tons of fun activities planned in the next two weeks including cook outs, ropes course (low and high), service projects in Pittsburgh, along with a camping trip - yup 20+ inner city kids in the woods; it's going to be hilarious. We are faithful in prayer for these kids and for God to pierce their hearts in an unforgettable way. Please be in prayer for the students as we try and work life out together.

We were at a car wash all morning and early afternoon today raising money for our Belle Glade Mission trip at the end of July. Come to find out, we will be flying! Hooolllleerrr! My heart already cries out for the kids we will be working with, I see such potential and hope in their lives.

As for what God is doing in my heart, in addition to some more prayer requests. He has really been teaching me about intentional living and being aware of the times throughout the day when He wants to interrupt me. I praise Him for this. It is always the gentle whispers that give me goosebumps. We as a people get so caught up in doing this and doing that, we miss it, we miss Him. I'm tired of it and want to be in communion with Him through the day. Shavar, Shawna, Brian, Ester, and I consist of a small group. I might be bias here, but we have the best group balancing each other out :) - we're like a dysfunctional family - we are hilarious. Please pray for faithfulness in us to lift up our kids daily, for us to build empowering relationships, and for us to present God in such a way to them that they will not be able to deny Him. Thank you ahead of time for praying for me and the rest of our staff. I covet these prayers!

Well that's all for now folks - hope all is well with everyone out there. I kind of feel like I am in another country at times; we don't get out much. When I have down time, I really just like to chill and read, and debrief with Andrizzle. Good times, good times. Anyways, peace out and until next time love deeply!

Things I Take for Granted ...

What up from the Quip! Alright, so it's weird the way you think (well, I actually think it's conviction from the Holy Spirit) when you are pulled away from your comfort zone to other places for a long amount of time. You start noticing things you take for granted, along with things you just need to truly appreciate and cherish more. To say the least I have noticed this during my short time in the Quip so far. This blog has kind of turned into a journal of some sort and why I am sharing some of these things with ya'll I don't know, but owell. I know ya'll are thinking I am about to get deep on you, which I am, but first I must admit that I take for granted my washing machine :) I hand washed my clothes for the first time this past weekend. It was really hard work, but I loved it and I plan to continue to do it throughout the summer (hmmmm - hold me to that). It definitely puts a lot of things in perspective for you considering the amount of people who do not have washers and dryers in their house.

Next, my family. I thank God for ya'll all the time, but we truly do not understand how much we cherish each other until we are pulled away from each other. I miss ya'll; the all day Sunday affairs, the random dinners, hugs from my Bubba and Blakey, and just the time we get to spend together. Please know that I love each of you in a way in which I will never really be able to express in words.

My Graystone folks - I apologize to you for taking you for granted. I know God has called me somewhere else in terms of worshipping, but it shouldn't be an excuse for us not to get together. I am pleading guilty here. I need to be better at intentional get togethers. I miss ya'll. I miss my B&N nights along with my Hail Mary nights, and also Thursday Starbucks and the Beekeepers!

360 - I've expressed what I needed to express to ya'll in a previous email :) :) you know I love ya'll and miss ya'll. Muahahahaha!

My Beautiful Sisters - I pray for you constantly and am confident that God is blowing each of you away. Even though I know you are in our Fathers hands, it does not take away the pain of not being able to pick up the phone and call. We've talked about this over and over again, and we have made it intentional to love each other deeply without judgement. This stands today and always will, through the ridiculous and hilarious memories to the not so good memories...even though they turned out to be good memories; kind of! Hahahaha. I love you!

I have met some beautiful people here and are surrounded with unbelievable neighbors which I will write more about later. One of my neighbors reminds me of my Grammy. Her name is Emma; such a soft and genuine spirit. I cannot wait to build a relationship with her and her husband (high school sweethearts, married 57 years). You gotta love the stoop talks.

As for how things are going - we have officially started planning for our camp starting next week. We will be in overdrive for those two weeks; ropes course training, camping (shut it with inner city kids - 20), and a whole lot of fun. If there is one (ok-2) things I would have to say the Lord is doing/teaching me right now, I would have to go with constant communion throughout the day, in addition with being intentional about specific things. Praise Him. I have a good core team consisting of 5 people, all with different personalities. But in a good way. I look forward to working with them throughout the summer. I think that is it for now. Oh, the rooming sitch you people have been asking about - ha. We finally migrated to the basement, so we look like Orphan Annie - its actually really funny, but we're all turning the 3rd floor to a prayer room which will be awesome. Remember we have 15 girls under one roof. Oh yea, and I found out I am going to Belle Glade, Fl the last week in July for a mission trip. Thats just a heads up. Ok, thats it - peace, love deeply!

Answers to Questions

What up folks! This could be a long one. Sorry. I don't really know where to begin. Our week of training is over - and for someone who can't really focus past 20+ minutes - I am quite happy it is over. But the info given to us was very informative, so no complaints. I just went crazy in my seat - stand up, sit down, go to the bathroom ... ya'll know the routine! We're off to a basketball game in a bit - they are having it at the "Dump" - it's one of the courts in the neighborhood. I'm going to try and hit up some questions I've been asked:

General things: The town is very poverty stricken, but has so much hope. It's wierd walking the streets (which we do daily, it's awesome), because I can't help but think about things that could be cleaned up, tagged by local teens, stores brought back to life. Due to unemployment starting in I think 84 with the closing of the steel mill, along with a flood which came up from the sewer pipes in 02, businesses closed down. It is almost like a ghost town, as a local put it to me the other day. By the way his name was Grover.

Am I safe? We are definitely in an area where violence, drug deals, prostitution, and crime occurs, however I have not once felt unsafe walking through the hoods, or streets. Many of the neighborhood moms have told us to be in before dark, but I think that is to be expected. It truly is a beautiful town. People here are very friendly, and there is a sense of the older generation looking out for people they know do not live here year around. We are in constant prayer walking on the streets - God has without a doubt drawn me closer to Him with this and continues to bring me back to Phil. "pray without ceasing."

Funny stories yet? ABSOLUTELY!!!! Top favorite so far - I already told ya'll about the guy counting his quarter bags. 2 Days ago I went to shake a lady's hand and she was smoking some weed in her right hand and tried to hide it. I saw it, she saw me see it,and we both looked at each other and laughed and went on with our conversation. I cant write the rest of them, but they sure are funny. 

Pictures? I havent quite felt out when it is right to take a pic and when it isnt. I have a couple which will come soon to give ya'll an idea of my surroundings.

How are you feeling with this? Good. I know God has me here for a specific reason, I am resting in that. Without a doubt, there is a spirit of oppression here. A couple of times people have made comments to our team, like there is no hope, get out of this hood, you cant change anyone - well, they are right - we cant change anyone, but our Lord and Savior can - and that's why we will remain in those hoods with our street presence. Yesterday I was walking with Drea and I said there just needs to be one good thing that happens to this place - very gently she said back to me, "there is." Needless to say, I was very humbled. But she is exactly right - the presence of God is working through this city - RESTORATION WILL COME! I was reading out of 1 Peter today - 2 scrips really hit home - "Above all love each other deeply," as well as, " Be self controlled and alert, Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." There is definitely spiritual warfare going on in the Quip - have faith, Jesus has claimed victory over this world, and that obviously includes the Quip!!! Praise Him! Love, not just love, but love deeply. Let us see out of the eyes of Jesus and love out of the heart of His Father. I believe the Lord will really reveal what it means to "deeply love" this summer.

One thing I want to also mention - there is a coffee shop called Uncommon Grounds here. It is amazing. Right in the middle of downtown. Strictly run on volunteers. Hold movie nights and open mic nights. Prices range from 25 cent drinks to $4 sandwiches, and coffee for about $1.25. I walked in the other day and two of the local boys were mopping the floor. You can go up to the counter and ask for a drink and they'll say "yea sure you can have it, but how do you make it." Due to the fact all of the workers are volunteers it kind of makes it quite humorous. But wow, this is what God intended community to be. The owners of the shop are 2 Australian individuals who are committed to Christ and this community - I cannot wait to hear more about their story. Quite honestly it reminds me of a God sized vision soon to be attained by 2 of my beautiful friends . . . JuJa Java shout out right there!

Alright, that's it for now - off to the basketball game. Please pray for specific crossing of paths with people, for God to continue to reveal Himself, and that the people of the Quip along with the staff would be brought to our knees by His presence. Love ya'll and thank you ahead of time for your prayers. Each of you are a blessing to me. It does get hard up here only really truly knowing one person and having only one person really know me (shout out to Drea, if you're reading this - holler and thanks for everything!), but I am overwhelmed and encouraged knowing people are praying for me and that God has surrounded me with a group of solid believers here. Until next time, love deeply!