"Just One Touch of Your Favor Is So Much Greater"

As I mentioned in my last blog, I'm back. Not meaning back in the ATL. But back, as in where I am supposed to be in the Word and where I am supposed to be in my prayer walk. It is such a peaceful feeling when you are right with God, when you dwell in the presence of the Almighty. This past week was good. I am finding the importance of spending time with family and friends, because quite honestly I don't know how long I will be here. It was a great time on Saturday playing on the slip and slide for Alex's birthday. I mean I think when I am 80, I will still want to scoot down a slip and slide for my birthday - those things just don't get old! I love my family and I am so very blessed to have their love and support day in and day out.

Tomorrow I will be going to see one of my best friends in AZ. KJ, shout out! Even though it will not be a Tres Leches reunion :( I cannot wait for the prayer time, meaningful conversation, and encouragement. I think this next week will be a telling week for all involved. I know God is going to speak truth to us and through us. There are no words to explain how it feels when you get together with friends and your spirit just flows. Friends that understand each others hearts without saying a word. These are the friends you need to keep by your side. Friends that will last a lifetime.

And of course, what is the progress with where I am? One of my main prayers is for God to speak through people to me. I truly believe in this, for God has used people in the past that have led to humongous decisions for me. There have been two occasions that I truly believe God was speaking through people to me in the season that I am in right now. Praise Him for that. As of right now I feel that God definitely is pulling me in the direction of the Quip. I have found that my prayers have gone from a full out "God guide me and direct me," to "Lord, prepare me." With this being said, I am not at a 100% go right now. I still need to spend time in prayer. How long will this season last? I have no idea. I am assuming sooner than later. Please continue to pray for me as I seek out where the Lord is calling me, and until then please pray also that I will be submitting to the call of where I am in "the now" . . . that my friends, is to love deeply.

My Sister Is Brilliant!

Kris: "So people ask me how you are doing, and I say, she doesn't talk much. Read her blog, it says a lot."

This is the most profound statement I have heard in a long time. So true! Thanks Kris. I wish everyone could get it that easily. Though maybe frustrating to others, I find it easier to write out my heart, rather than try and speak it. I'm just not one to talk much on certain things I guess. I know it's all out of great hearts that people want to know how I am doing; I really really appreciate that, TRULY. But I guess if this kind of thing really gets to you, you might need to talk to my Creator, He's the One who did it! HAHAHAHAH! Ya'll are just part of a huge prank between me and JC! Suckas!

Actually this past week has been very hmmm, how do I want to say it; humbling perhaps. This is all in a good way as well. I have been forced back into the Word and crying out prayers through a situation that was just brought across my path early last week. And I praise God for it. He has drawn me close to His heart, very close, and for a while there I didn't feel anywhere near Him. But I'm back and that my friends, is the bottom line. And that alone is reason to rejoice. I've learned once again what it means to be vulnerable to others and to completely have to trust in our Lord. I feel as though if I proclaim that I live, breathe, and talk Jesus, I better start walking Jesus. What does it mean to be real? As believers and the church I really feel as though we struggle with this. We put on our church face and our church attitude and our church front, and we freakin pretend everything is ok. I'm guilty folks. But I'm here to say that Jesus doesn't roll that way. He wants us to be real with one another, transparent, no matter how that may make us look. Our God is sovereign, gracious, and compassionate looking for people who will be real for His Kingdom. I was reminded of that this week. Reminded that if I speak to others about being real, than I better start being real as well. Father, forgive me of those times where I have put on a front to protect myself, rather than being vulnerable and trusting in you.

Alright, where I'm at. (And to you English teachers, not between the a and the t). Shut it. I have been in prayer about my future and will continue to be. I have prayer warriors crying out for me as well. I have no answer for you honestly. I still continue to think about the Quip numerous times throughout the day, every day. My prayers seem to go back to the Quip. Who knows. I am resting in the hands of the Lord, and that's all I can say right now. But the first part of the "song of the summer" definitely sums up my feelings towards the Quip. Yes I know corny but get over it. This song was played over and over again this summer, and I just started really hearing the first part of the song:

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Seems like I'm in a race, but already won first place
I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did

Again, I know crazy, but that spoke to me in a way. Ha. Now I know ya'll are thinking I'm insane! Some of you might be saying, what about Africa. As you all know, Africa is my heart and passion. At the same time, I feel at peace about Africa right now. When I think Quip, I think an urgent need. I think of God calling a specific people group to joining Him in advancing the Kingdom. I think of restoration. I think of our Father's hand resting upon a community in need of a Savior. I think of myself helping bridge that gap. However, I still don't know. I'm still facedown in prayer about it and trusting in Ps. 46:10 and Acts 17:26-27. Amen and Amen. Until next time, love deeply!

Even Now Here's My Heart Lord

Ahh, deep breath. So, real right? I've been back for a little over a week now, and I don't know what to think. Literally. I either have about 5,000 things going through my head at a time or I just want to sit in front of the television and watch mindless shows. Those of you who know me, know that's not normal. So I'm struggling, but little by little the peace of our Lord is becoming more and more evident to me. I realize that a lot of my struggle deals with just wanting to serve our Savior, and that's not necessarily a bad thing - but I also have to learn to take time to let God restore me. I think I am a lot more worn down physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually than I think I am. Even in saying that, I know I need the peace and grace of God to meet me where I am right now. And I believe He will.

I went to Berkmar today, being a little hesitant to tell you the truth. It was super hard leaving that school, I didn't want to leave the kids! I can't ever put into words the feeling of when God truly teaches you to love others. I think it was during my time at Berkmar where God truly showed me who He was and where I truly fell in love with His children and His people. Praise God for that. It was such a blessing to get smiles and hugs from everyone there today. I pray that God's hand will continue to rest on BMS!

And that's it for now. The end. Love deeply.

Home

Hmmm. Well I've made it home, barely. I woke up at the airport to "last and final call for fl. 283" - I had to run to my gate. So good to see the family! I got home yesterday at about 11:30. Having pulled an all nighter the night before I slept all afternoon and then ate dinner with the fam at the rents house. Today I slept and fought Facebook trying to upload all my pics. It's done now though.

As following the original idea of this blog, "being real," I don't necessarily know what to think about being home. I OF COURSE love seeing and being around my family, but it was EXTREMELY hard leaving the Quip. In the short time I have been home, I have only been able to think about one thing from the summer and that is this, what do I do with the relationships I have built over the summer? People just started trusting myself and the staff towards the end of the summer. Two of our girls came to faith the last week, and God without a doubt was working on other's hearts as well. Then all of a sudden, it's a goodbye and I don't ever know if I'll see you again. I don't know what to do with that. That's to say the very least heartbreaking to me. There is so, so very much more to process from the summer. I expect to process for a long time coming honestly.

What are you going to do now? (this seems to be the question I am getting from everyone). I made a promise to myself that I would not do or make any decisions for at least a month after I returned home. I knew I would be coming off of a high from the Quip, and did not want to make any decisions off of emotion . . . if that was the case I probably would not have left the Quip to tell you the truth. I can say this, I just want to be in the utmost center of God's will. I know people are praying for me and I find comfort and peace in that.

Love deeply.

Skinny

Belle Glade, Fl. : Thursday afternoon we were broken up into 2 small groups. We were given $20 and told to pray about how we were to use the $20 if we were to use it at all. Our groups consisted of 2 leaders and 4 of our students. Before I go any further with the story I want to tell you about a guy we met earlier in the day while doing street ministry (you'll understand the connection in a little bit). His name was Skinny. He was a tall slender man, who looked like he hadn't bathed in a few weeks. There was dirt built up in his fingernails, and his clothes were filthy dirty. His hair probably had not been washed in a long, long time. We talked with Skinny, handed him some water, and asked in which way we could pray for him. He definitely loved the idea of us praying for him, but did not want us to do it right then. We obliged and parted ways. Back to the afternoon. Our small group started praying by praise, thanking God for who He is. After that, we started praying for the city of Belle Glade. Following the prayer time we would discuss how we felt that God was leading us. Through our prayer/discussion/prayer/discussion we came to very specific areas where we as a small group felt that God was leading us: a group of run down apartment buildings, males in the community, hygiene products. This led us to one last time of prayer. At the end of the prayer time, God laid on our hearts the man we had met earlier on the streets, Skinny. This was in line with everything else we felt God speaking to us. He was a male, we met him in the same area of the apartment buildings, and he needed hygiene products.

We proceeded to the store to buy a hygiene gift bag for Skinny. When we left the store, we were going off of faith that we would actually see this man again. We looked at the gas station, we spoke to people on the street, we talked to more people on the street, we drove around asking people; nobody had seemed to know this so called man named Skinny. Our team was getting frustrated and the doubt was starting to creep in. We rode up on the chess courtyard where a group of Haitian men were playing. We asked if they knew a man named Skinny. In their language they spoke back and forth and back and forth, and then all at once they started pointing in the same direction of the gas station. There were apt. buildings across from the gas station where they said he lived; which would make since of why he was hanging outside the gas station. We drove to the apt. building and asked a group of people if Skinny lived there; they said yes. Our team instantly became excited. An old lady was outside of the apt. where Skinny supposedly lived. After talking to her, she let us go inside. What happened next, I will never forget in my walk with Christ:

I was the first one in and noticed there was absolutely no furniture in the apt. I was getting confused. The lady led us into the back room where a man laid motionless on a hospital bed. He was crippled and was not able to hardly move a limb. When trying to speak, we could not understand the man. What we soon figured out though is that this man's name was indeed Skinny and he was in dire need of prayer, along with, believe it or not a hygiene kit. We gathered around Skinny and joined in prayer for his healing and his health in general. I started off the prayer, or rather I tried, gathering my thoughts and emotions together which soon led to tears rolling down my face. All of our kids prayed for this man, along with Joel our leader. After praying we shared the gospel with Skinny and his wife. Though English was not their native language it was evident that this man was hearing every word spoken. Skinny said he believed in Christ and knew that He died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins and to provide us with eternal life. He had heard the truth and believed the truth.

I am amazed that God laid on our hearts through prayer a thin, frail man standing outside of a gas station whose name happened to be Skinny to lead us to the foot of a man in a hospital bed needing the touch of a Savior. Not to mention, his name was also Skinny. Earlier in the day I found myself having thoughts of going and encouraging people in the hospital close to where we were staying. God reminded me of this after I was sitting alone with Him trying to process what had just happened. Our prayer for our kids all week had been, "Holy Spirit make yourself real to our kids, encounter our kids, as well as us." What I know is this, when our small group walked out of the apartment building humbled and numb to our souls, God revealed Himself to our kids in a more than real way. He encountered us and wanted us to join His Holy Spirit in a room filled with the presence of our Savior. Our kids, along with myself and our other leader saw Christ face to face in those moments we were there. Our God heard our cries. He is faithful to his people. I am completely humbled to think that God wanted us (a group of people from Aliquippa, PA) to join Him in that room with Skinny. I praise Him for His call to care for His people. A God that is living, a God that is compassionate, a God that is loving, a God that will sit with a man on his hospital bed. We serve a God who is worthy of praise! Amen and amen!