You Are Worth It

Hang In There...

2012-01-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

It's been too long....site under construction. Blog coming soon.

A Lesson from Running

2011-05-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

SO, I decided to run this route yesterday that I don't usually do. I always have to be careful with my routes, because if I run over a given length or I run too many hills, my knees are not happy with me the following day. Actually, they scream at me all day (thanks to all my years of sports and the crazy training at LSU :) ) It seems as though when I run it's either a really hard run or an easy run, no in between. The other day when I was running, I noticed something. As I run, if I look down every step, it seems to be an easy run. I am just focused on the step I am taking at the moment; when I finish the step it's a success. However, when I look ahead while running, it seems to be a really hard run. I think this is because I can see how far I still have to run, or what hills I will have to conquer, or what intersections I am going to have to stop at and interrupt my run; basically I am focused on the obstacle.

I was reminded during one of my last runs of the scripture 2 Cor. 4:18. It states, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." In other words, if we focus on what is in front of us, whatever your obstacle may be, whether a positive obstacle or a negative obstacle, it is temporary. When we fix our eyes, however, on what is unseen, Jesus Christ and the goodness that is Him and goes along with Him, we reap eternal benefits. I know, much easier said than done. It seems as though whenever I blog about truly walking in what Jesus has called us to walk in, everything is easier said than done. Jesus never promised it would be easy. In fact, he stated the exact opposite in John 16:33. "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

I want to encourage everyone, including myself, to fix our eyes on Jesus. Let us all reap eternal benefits, rather than focus on the temporary.

Love Deeply

Perfect Blood

2011-04-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

Please check this out . . . it is humbling.

http://us1.campaign-archive2.com/?u=9ccb7027cbbed56bb72e84a0b&id=fcecd270eb

I believe this post speaks volumes going into the Easter weekend. Yesterday, 2000+ years ago, Jesus washed each one of His disciples feet at the Last Supper, all the while knowing that one of those disciples, Judas, was going to betray Him. Today, 2000+ years ago, our King was crucified. And three days later, He will have been raised from the dead. As we walk through this weekend, I pray that my thoughts and heart, as well as yours would be fixed upon Him, marveling with thanksgiving at that "Perfect Blood" He shed for us. Blessed be His name.

Love Deeply

Another Brother . . .

2011-03-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

So, this evening I found myself sitting in one room, while in the other room my sister and brother in-law were helping lead my 5 year old nephew to Christ. This morning Alex was asking my sister questions about how people get to Heaven. Alex has learned and has soaked in so much truth from the program he attends during the week, along with the many conversations he has had with the family. It is quite humbling to hear him speak about Jesus. Listening to a child talk about our King is so pure and so real. Through the Holy Spirit's leading I now have another brother in Christ. What pleasure. What joy. What peace. The saints are rejoicing tonight because of a 5 year old child. "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. The whole earth is full of His glory." Blessed be His name. Love Deeply Preparing for Africa . . .

A Little Here, A Little There

2011-03-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

Last week I went and visited my friend, who has two young children. The oldest boy is four years old and his name is Rylan. When I came in the door, he ran upstairs real quick and yelled he had to get me something. I had no idea what it would be. When he came back downstairs Rylan gave me a hand full of change, consisting of a couple quarters, dimes, nickles, and some pennies. Rylan proceeded to tell me he wanted me to give it to the church. I of course said yes.

Yesterday, Rylan and the rest of his family came over to my house to play. Once again, he said, "I have something for you." He reached down into his pocket and pulled out a single quarter. I stuck out my hand and he gently placed the quarter in it. This melted my heart. I have no idea why Rylan likes giving me the little money that he has. A part of me thinks it is just the innocence and sweet soul of a four year old. A bigger part of me thinks, and knows, that this is the Lord's way of saying, "I will take care of you."

Later that night, my mom and I were trying to figure out my taxes. It's never good when you see in the right hand corner that you OWE rather than seeing REFUND. Let's just say I almost broke down in tears. Literally. I actually did on the way back home to my house; but it was during that little meltdown where the Lord reminded me of Rylan placing that quarter in my hand. "I will take care of you," He whispered.

The Lord has always provided for me. He has never let me down. I actually have a tattoo on my back with two little yellow butterflies. The words "Jehovah Jireh" are written in between the butterflies. It is Hebrew for "The Lord will Provide." I am thankful for a God that cares so much about his sons and daughters. I am thankful for a God that will use the very unexpected moments to teach us about His grace and compassionate heart. And I am thankful for a God that will use the little children to make such powerful promises. Blessed be His name.

Love Deeply

The Biggest Loser, The Biggest Winner

2011-02-22T18:45:00.000-08:00

First of all, yes, I am talking about the television show. The Biggest Loser, if there is anyone out there who has been living in a cave for the last 5+ years or so, is a show that challenges overweight individuals to lose weight. The contestants train hours upon hours a day in order to accomplish this mission. On the show, the person who loses the least amount of weight or who is voted off, leaves. From what I understand, this difference in this year's show is that there are parent/child teams; a mother/father teamed up with a daughter/son. This week was a pivotal week for contestants, in that two of the individuals were being sent home. Throughout the show, there were a couple clips displaying the team's strategies in case of a loss. On the "black team," there was a discussion of parents giving up there spot, in order for their kids to stay on the show. They felt this opportunity was an opportunity of a lifetime for their children, one that is crucial and life changing. During the weigh in contestant after contestant would walk up to the scale to see their weight loss for the week; a weight gain would be unheard of, except in a situation where someone was giving up a spot in order for another to stay. The first mother stepped on the scale, + 1. The father stepped on the scale, +3. The last mother stepped on the scale, +8. Unheard of, yes. A sacrifice, INTENTIONAL.

It was interesting. While I was watching the show, I was also putting together an I-Tunes playlist. The song, "Jesus Paid It All" was playing. I couldn't help but think about our Heavenly Father sacrificing for us. With no hesitation, the parents on the show sacrificed for their children. "I would do anything for my child." "If I become half the man my Dad is for doing what he did this week..." " These are all my children, I love them dearly, and would do anything for them." Sound familiar? Maybe worded a little differently, but I believe these are the words Jesus spoke to us. Jesus knew the cross would be life changing, he knew it was crucial. With emotions high, BUT NO HESITATION, and love on display I saw parent after parent give up their spot for their child. How much more was the sacrifice of our King on the cross. Life for life. Love for love. "Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow." I owe my life to Jesus for what He did on the cross for me. He knew the life I was going to live, the mistakes I was going to make, all the while enduring the crucifixion of the cross. No one in my life can say they have done the same thing for me. No one. My family has sacrificed certain things for me and some of my friends have sacrificed things for me, but not one single person in my life, besides the Lord Almighty can claim they have intentionally died (and rose again) in order for me to live. I am forever thankful and forever humbled by a gesture so powerful. Blessed be your Name.

Love Deeply

His Treasured Possession

2011-02-18T12:07:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 7:6-9:

"The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharoah king of Egypt. Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands."

God continues to bring me back to this scripture in my quiet times with Him. I feel that He wants me to read it and re-read it, and read it again, and again in order for me to claim His love over my life. He is beautiful. He is faithful. And I do, I do claim that love over my life. Blessed be His name. The thought of our Jesus calling me His treasured possession, and calling you His treasured possession penetrates my soul deeply. It gives me that feeling of just wanting to fall into His lap and rest in His goodness and mercy. It gives me that feeling of taking in a breath of His peace and letting out all the worries of the world. It gives me that feeling of precious security. My friends, we cannot run from His love. It is a covenant spoken over us and promised to us by a King that reigns supreme over this world. May we all receive this love and walk in the wholeness He has called us to walk in.

Trust

2011-02-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

Where is your trust? Or should I say, who do you find your trust in? Has your trust been broken? Have you broken the trust of others? I think everyone can relate in some way to the failure of trust in their life. Some of you may have experienced this when you were younger, some may have experienced it a couple years ago, and some may be going through it right now. Trust is defined as, "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing; confidence." Another definition of trust is, "something committed or entrusted to one's care for use or safekeeping."

Unfortunately, but fortunately, the Lord is teaching me greatly about trusting others. "It is better to take refuge in the Lord, than to trust in man." Psalm 118:8. "Some trust in chariots, some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7. In both of these scriptures, the emphasis is placing our trust in the Lord. I read recently that our deepest loyalty must be to the Father. This is obvious, right? You would think, but I don't know if it's that easy. We have to figure in our closest friends, we have to figure in family, we have to figure in spouses, we have to figure in those who we feel a true bond to. I believe our trust, consciously or subconsciously is given to people here on earth. In some ways, I think we put so much trust in others, where we feel as though they can do no wrong (again consciously or subconsciously). This swings open the door for heartache, brokenness, misunderstanding, frustration, hurt ect. I have been reminded recently that again the Word says, "It is better to take refuge in the Lord, than to trust in man." As hard as it may be to read this and think about, man will always fail you. I have failed people, and people have failed me.

I am not trying to say that we cannot trust anyone here on earth, but what I want to encourage you with is that our deepest trust must remain in the One who will never fail us. Our God is faithful. Jesus continues to remind me these days of the difference between Him and "man." I am thankful that we serve a Father who is perfect, holy, righteous, pure, loving, and ever so worthy of our praise. Blessed be His name...

Love deeply

I Can't Wait

2011-01-28T15:56:00.000-08:00

I was finishing reading 2 Peter yesterday. The words Peter spoke and wrote about really encouraged me so I thought I would share it with you. Two scriptures completely penetrated my soul. The first was in verse 9; it states "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. Not wanting anyone to perish. This is something I know and have heard, but it is always so good to come across truth like this unexpectedly in His Word. This hits home to me, for the simple fact that I have people I love dearly in my life who do not have a relationship with the Lord yet. I have been faithful in prayer for them and will continue to be. My heart yearns for them to receive and live out the unconditional love of a Father that will never leave them nor forsake them. His love, His grace, His mercy, compassion, and presence screams out patience through this scripture. The Lord's number one desire of His heart is to bring all people to Him. He waits for His beautiful creation to bow at His feet, crying out for a King and a Savior. That day will come for the people in my life and the people in your life that you find yourself interceding for. The love our God has for these beautiful souls far outweigh our love for them.

The second scripture that really stuck out to me was found in verse 13: "But in keeping with His promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness." I CANNOT WAIT for this! The home of righteousness. No sickness. No broken relationships. No physical pain. No emotional hurt. No sin. No death. Jesus in His Glory. Man, what a day that will be. Can you imagine? My heart and mind go all over the place trying to visualize what this new heaven and this new earth will look like, feel like, and be like. Jesus in His Glory again is enough for me, but to have the honor and privilege to worship our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ with people from different nation, tribes, and tongues. There is no other place I would rather be.

I pray that these scriptures encourage you as much as they did me. Our God is faithful.

Love Deeply

Yea, Pulling The Vacay Card

2010-12-29T17:35:00.000-08:00

So, I didn't forget about you guys. The Lord is doing so many things. However, I am still in the ATL enjoying the last couple days here with my family. I'll be back on the blog next week, not that you are waiting on pins and needles for me to post; I realize that :) I'm out homies . . .

Love Deeply

Merry Christmas

2010-12-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

Hey, I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New year. I pray this holiday season would be filled with much love, laughter, and joy to you and yours. May we all live in praise to our King. Amen.

What God Has Reminded Me of This Last Week ...

2010-12-15T18:13:00.000-08:00

. . . When we are weak, He is strong. He loves when we just sit with Him. He meets the desperate right where they are. He adores when His children come running to Him with everything they have. When people get to the point of crying out praises to Him, I think that makes His heart melt. His arms are wide open waiting for us to step toward Him. His number one desire is to seek, to stay in pursuit of, and to save the lost. The way He reveals Himself to all is mysterious; sometimes its through an "earthquake" and other times it through a "gentle whisper." He is so very big, yet at the same time loves being so intimate with us. Teaching His children is a passion of His. Madly in love with His creation.

These are just to name a few...my week has been humbling to say the least.

Love Deeply

Claim It

2010-12-07T15:46:00.000-08:00

I made a real interesting observation today. It is so easy to claim truths and scriptures over other people's lives, but so much harder to claim it over our own lives. I have really been led to pray Phil. 4:5-7 over a friend's life right now, which states, "The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything. But in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." As I said, it is so easy to pray this for my friend. To be honest, when this came to my heart, I never even thought twice about praying it for myself. This afternoon, however, one of my other friends said she had a scripture to share with me. Wouldn't you know it was the same exact scripture. She said I am going to claim that over your life. Funny how our God works, right?

All this being said, and as I have previously stated before in blogs (I actually think I talked about this last week), we have to claim the promises and truths of God over our lives, as well as others of course. We have to hold those promises to our Lord, trusting Him that He will wholeheartedly answer the very words He has spoken in His Love Story.

Love Deeply

Who Are You In Christ?

2010-11-30T15:10:00.000-08:00

One thing the Lord has been teaching me about lately is my identity in Him. Crazy right? Some of you may be thinking, "Haven't you been walking with the Lord for a while now? Shouldn't you know who you are in Christ?" Interesting question. I can answer that basically by saying, yes, I do know what the Lord says about me in the Word; I know He has called me His child, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, the apple of his eye, a friend, a co-heir ect. However, I believe there is an enormous difference between knowing what the Bible says about us and claiming that over our lives. Truly believing it and walking in it. I know people in my life who can quote scripture back and forth, but don't live out the life God has called us to according to the Word. I think this is basically the same thing.

In the last couple of weeks I have had a deep yearning to get into the Word. This has come straight through prayer. There are seasons that I go through where I feel as though I am just reading the Bible because I know I should, there are seasons where quite honestly it is difficult to even pick up the Bible, and there are seasons, where I find myself now, that all I want to do is read the Bible. During this time, truths of my identity and life have just screamed out to me. I have been claiming these truths over myself and it has been amazing to see and feel God's love through such powerful words.

I just want to encourage everyone to claim the truths of God's love story over your lives; to walk in them, with confidence and boldness. Let us all raise up and be the men, women, and children our God has called us to be.

Love Deeply

Psalm 91

2010-11-16T15:45:00.000-08:00

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling-
even the Lord, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord,
"I will rescue him; I will protect him,
for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Our God Is Healer . . .

2010-11-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

I can't help but post about this today. A couple weeks ago one of my friends' 22 month old child was diagnosed with a rare disease. Basically, he had abnormal cells lining his esophogus and stomach. The individual with the worst recorded case of this diseaese in the world now lives in Europe and is incompacitated. The count of his abnormal cells was at '70.' As of two weeks ago, my friend's child had a count of '130' abnormal cells in his body. Along with his abnormal cells, he was unable to swallow any type of food or liquid. The attempts to do so were denied and regurgitation occured. Through surgery a couple days ago, it was found that there was a cleft in his esophogus. There is much more to this story, but basically the family was looking at reconstructive throat surgery.

All this to say, my friend and her 22 month old baby boy are coming home today with a count of '0' abnormal cells in his body, in addition to full ability to swallow. God is Healer. I type those words in complete humbleness knowing that our King, our Savior healed this baby boy completely. Needless to say, the doctors involved in this whole process were dumbfounded. One day this little boy was diagnosed with the worst case in the world for a specific disease, now there is no trace of that disease. Another day, he was not even close to having the ability to swallow, today he is going home having passed a swallowing test. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO EXPLAIN THIS THAN JESUS CHRIST.

God has taugth me once again, along with I could only imagine hundreds of others across the world, how very powerful prayer is. I know for a fact that individuals across the world were burdened and praying for this child and his family; different nations, different tribes, different tongues all crying out for healing in the name of Jesus Christ. I encourage all that are reading this to lock in to the power of our Lord. Our King is wanting and waiting for us to trust Him enough to allow Him to unleash supernatural powers in different situations. Though God can glorify Himself in all kinds of ways, in this situation, He chose healing . . . AND FOR THAT I AM EVER SO THANKFUL.

Love Deeply

Deuteronomy 4:7

2010-10-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

"What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us whenever we pray to Him." One of my friends shared this verse to us before we started our Monday prayer time yesterday. There is such power behind knowing the One who created the universe and all that is in it dwells amongst us when we gather to pray.

As you have probably heard me say before our primary work here in Aliquippa is prayer. I can't help but blog about it and talk about it because we have seen God work in so very many ways through our crying out. Please understand that I do not say any of this to bring credit to ourselves, but to God and God alone.

Through prayer God has given a couple of our friends a vision to start missional communities. What are missional communities you might ask? The purpose of a missional community is to intentionally live out God's mission together. Life on Life! Worshipping together, serving together, learning together, outreaching together, failing together, and rejoicing together. I know some of you may think, "how is this different from what you do now?" The difference is we are providing an atmosphere for believers and unbelievers to be discipled whether they choose to attend an institutional church or not. I am so excited about this! I know God is going to do incredible things through our two groups and cannot wait to see the power of Christ transform people. Please pray for us as we begin this new journey. Your prayers are coveted!

Love Deeply

A Beautiful Mess

2010-10-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

I am re-reading a book my best friend gave me called A Beautiful Mess. I love it. Basically, it is about our Kingdom signifying those exact words. The book talks a lot about the art of "beauty pushing through brokenness." I think this phrase itself represents Aliquippa to the utmost. Within all the brokenness that men, women, and children have in this community, beauty is slowly but surely making its appearance . . . to stay.

When I say beauty is pushing through brokenness, I think of the three individuals who just came to faith in the last couple months; I think about how God is providing a group of people from Aliquippa the opportunity to go and serve the individuals of Africa this Spring; I think about a once homeless, addicted, prostitute transforming into a beautiful, confident woman; I think about our youth fighting the temptations of the street in order to serve the Lord; I think about men in the drug dealing business being restored as men who fear a Perfect King; I think about a community that sees itself as hopeless, seeking, finding, and experiencing the hope of Christ.

My trust is in a King, which reigns over a Kingdom that cannot be shaken. May we all expect and be oh so thankful for the Power that is able to revolutionize a life. Amen and Amen.

Love Deeply

Homecoming . . .

2010-10-13T07:10:00.000-07:00

This past weekend our church here in Aliquippa had a homecoming to celebrate 93 years of existence. When I first heard about this homecoming celebration I honestly thought to myself, "what church has a homecoming celebration?!?!" I had never heard of something like that before. But then again, I have never been a part of a church that has 93 years of history. It started Friday night with a traditional style hymn singing service. Saturday night, there was a dinner banquet, where I won an award for answering a question about the history of the church! Actually, I cheated and the secretary gave me the answer. I am justifying it by giving away my fall gift basket to one of the ladies we have Bible Study with :)

Then came Sunday. As the previous days, there were people from all generations represented at the service. The oldest member who returned for the weekend was 90 years old. Throughout the service, there were testimonies from the respected older generation speaking of their youth group days. They spoke of how his youth group leaders at the time would drive them all around and pick them up for meetings and such. Looking back on the days, he said he was confident that his leaders prayed a hedge of protection around him and the rest of the youth at the time. It was encouraging to hear, knowing 1) that some of our youth were sitting listening to this man and 2) it was again confirmation that our Lord does indeed water the seeds that are planted in His perfect timing.

The most powerful part of the service, however, was at the end. There was an invitation by our leadership for everyone to come to the front and pray life into our community. At the alter, there were elderly men and women, young men and women, youth, and children. We started out praying individually and silent, but was then challenged to pray out loud. The voices and tears of many were spoken in boldness to the Lord. Aaron Schust led us in a time of worship following prayer. I took time to look up and see the body of Christ worshipping as one; crying together and singing together. It was a beautiful display of the Kingdom and His Majesty. To Him be the glory! Amen and Amen.

Love Deeply

Remain In My Love . . .

2010-09-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

I was reminded this morning in Scripture that the Lord is madly in love with us. He calls us to remain in His love as He says in John 15. Not that I forgot this fact, but it is so very good to read the truths of His Kingdom and how our God yearns for us to be in His arms. It is indeed a love relationship!

I want to encourage everyone including myself to spend time with the Lord daily. I don't know what that may look like for you, whether it is just sitting there in silence, taking a walk, listening to music, reading the Word, or praying. "Remain in me and I will remain in you." As we draw close to the Lord, He will draw close to us. One of my favorite pictures is that of Jesus holding a lamb close to His chest. It gives me such peace and joy knowing the Lord desires to hold us so close to His heart. That is precisely where He wants us.

May we all seek, find, and live out the love our King has for us.

"Gut Don"

2010-09-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

So, one of the areas of ministry I have found myself in these last couple of weeks, is serving in the Kidz Club. This is our church's ministry for children ranging from 2 years old to children in 6th grade. As crazy at it may seem, this is a time of some sort of therapeutic relaxation for me!?!? Wait, what? Does that even make sense? Anyways, what I am trying to say is that it is so very different from what we usually do here, that it takes my mind and heart off of the heaviness of ministry in Aliquippa for at least an hour :) Basically, my friend Diz and I play games with the kids and act a complete fool; the kids have a blast annnnd so do we.

You might have noticed the title of the blog though, "Gut Don." We realized and observed the first night that having kids, gives you a straight gift of understanding and translating what the heck other kids are saying. My other friend Sarah, who is married and has 2 kids of her own was also helping us this night; she is hilarious. The last group we had that night were the 2 and 3 year olds. They came in so shy and quiet; they sat down exactly how we asked them to. One by one we asked the kids their names..."Gut Don, Icksy, and Eyyaw" were all names Diz and I heard. Thank God though Sarah was there. Needless to say after each child said their names we stared at Sarah for the translation and just cracked up hysterically waiting for the real names. "Justin, Ricky, and Lydia" were the names of our wonderful kids. In saying this, I came to a conclusion, I need to either have kids quick or never work with 2 and 3 year olds again because when I am thinking they are saying "I have an outty," what they're really saying is that they have "to go potty." Yiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeeessss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh the humor of ministry at times . . .

Love Deeply

A Couple Highlights of the Week

2010-09-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

It's too hard to decide what to blog about this week, so I just want to share a couple of highlights with you. I was able to visit my friend Angel on Saturday. It was a very humbling conversation, as I was able to see how God had and continues to completely answer our prayers for her. This was the most coherent I have ever seen Angel. She is a very wise woman, but when she is in the midst of struggle you can't see that. Throughout our conversation Angel spoke truth over her life and spoke against the life she once lived on the streets. I see change in her. I see God at work. My prayer for Angel is that she will continue to see how the Lord is transforming her life.

The second highlight I want to share with you is regarding a breakthrough at one of our small group Bible studies. Beginning last year, we started meeting with a woman who is in her 70's I would guess. Hmm . . . I'll call her Patience! She is beautiful. We meet with her every week and needless to say she has been through tons and tons. If I could describe Patience to you besides the obvious, I would say she is full of an enormous amount of love. She actually marched in the Civil Rights movement when she was a young girl. Oh she has stories! I love meeting with her, because she poors out wisdom when she talks. She reminds me of a Maya Angelou of sorts. When we pray at the end to close down our time together my friend and I usually pray and that's it. Patience has just never felt comfortable enough to pray out loud I guess. She always says, "na na I don't like to pray out loud" (waving her hands in the air). Well, yesterday I was supposed to be the last one to pray. There were two other people who had prayed before me, so when I finished praying my friend and I quickly said Amen, so Patience wouldn't feel uncomfortable. But before you knew it, our dear friend Patience, so softly spoken, started praying out loud. My other friend and I just looked at each other with huge smiles and bowed our heads quickly. It was hilarious, but at the same time so beautiful.

Hopefully, these stories gave you a little encouragement as they did me. It is no secret at all that our King is working in the hearts of those around us!

Love Deeply

Finally . . .

2010-09-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

Let me first start off by saying I hope everyone had a great Labor day. I know I am a couple days late on this, but days here come and go, and before I know it a week has passed by. We spent our Labor day going to the Pirates/Braves game! I thought baseball games in Atlanta were boring . . . dang, Pittsburgh tops it off. We were able to have a little fun though and we also stopped by to see our friends Timmy and Kathleen, so that is always great. Please pray for them, as they had a meeting yesterday to see if they could get some housing. I do not know how it turned out.

We are finally back in the swing of things this week; making house visits, going to our kids' sporting events, street time, meeting people for small group Bible studies, ect. It is great! I also have some other wonderful news; those of you who keep up with my blogs are familiar with my friend Angel. I lost touch with Angel last Spring because she had gone and served time in jail. However, I had not seen her and didn't know where she was following her time in jail. I made a few phone calls this week and found out Angel is in a long term rehabilitation center not far from where I live. If you recall, I blogged last Spring about our staff praying for Angel to go to jail. I know that sounds funny and strange, but unfortunately this is the place we knew for a fact she would be safe and hopefully get some help. It is an answered prayer to hear that Angel will hopefully be in this long term facility for about a year. I plan on going to see her this weekend!

Be encouraged my friends that our Lord and Savior's hand is never to short to reach down into a situation that calls for a King.

Love Deeply

Hmmm . . .

2010-08-31T12:59:00.000-07:00

"Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." -- Ps. 106:1

I just wanted to encourage you with this scripture today. It is so very basic, but so very rich! There are honestly some times in my walk with Christ, where I do not know what to say to him. I may be going through a dry season, facing some challenges, or just plain going through it. However, the little that I can muster out becomes praises of thanksgiving. It's funny though, because I have found through those breath prayers, my attitude turns into that of worshipping the Lord.

If you find yourself in a rough spot right now, I just encourage you to start with praising the Lord. There is so very much we have to be thankful for. When we realize that all of our blessings give us reason alone to keep our eyes focused on Christ, our hearts become softened and opened to the One who shows us unfailing love.

Love Deeply

ATL BOUND YO!!!

2010-08-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, just wanted to let ya'll know I am headed home tomorrow for a week. I will have more to update next Tuesday. Please pray for much needed rest and relaxation. Thank you and can't wait to see some of you in the Dirty Dirty!!!

Closing Program - SUCCESS!

2010-08-10T09:09:00.000-07:00

Sunday night we had our closing program for AFA. We went out in Aliquippa Impact style not having food until about 5 minutes before guests were supposed to be arriving, in addition to running around like chickens with our heads cut off. All that to say, the closing program went great. It's funny how the presence of the Lord shows up even in times like these. It was wonderful to see our kids in an atmosphere where they were celebrated for positive accomplishments. Unfortunately, so much of the press here in Aliquippa is about what is going on negatively in this community. One of our goals at Aliquippa Impact is to celebrate the youth in this community for who they are and what they can become. While doing so, it is a beautiful reflection of what the Kingdom looks like.

It is hard to believe the summer is coming to a close. Our Day Camp's closing program is tonight, paperwork and such tomorrow, staff fun day on Friday, and then the staff leaves. I am sure I will need some time to adjust, considering the year round staff has been surrounded by 15 + people this summer. So it might feel a little "lonely" at first - but trust me, it won't take me that long to adjust :) I think it's at these times where we are oh so thankful for what people did and how people served our community this summer, but at the same time the summer needs to come to an end.

I'm excited to head back to Georgia next week for some R&R. I miss my people down there! SHOUT OUT!!! Anyways, hope this blog update finds you doing well and enjoying life!

Love Deeply

Under The Overpass

2010-08-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, our camp was on the way back from a field trip at the zoo. When returning we had to go through Pittsburgh. As we pulled up to a red light, we noticed two overpasses on each side of the bus. What was under the overpass was to our amazement. It basically looked like a typical bedroom. However, this was a bedroom that a couple had created out of their homelessness. There was a bed, "shelves" as in a ledge from the overpass, shopping carts that surrounded them to form a boundary line, a little storage area for their food, and anything and everything they had picked up along their journey. My friend Diz and I said immediately, "we have to meet those kats!"

Saturday, a group of us went down to the Strip District; this is a strip of street vendors and fresh produce, along with some really cool shops. When we were leaving I asked them if they would mind if we went to look for these specific people we saw under the overpass. So our journey began. Next thing I knew, we were walking up to the couple praying they would find favor over us. That they did! We had about a 15 minute conversation with them, prayed with them, and then arranged a dinner date with them for Monday.

Monday night rolled around; we packed up some ribs, green beans, corn, and brownies, and headed toward the city. Tim was a little taken back it seemed, that we actually followed through with our word. Kathleen was super excited to see us. Tim and Kathleen have been together for 20+ years and have been on the streets for 6 months. They are awaiting government funding next month to get off the streets. We sat there, ate, talked, sang, and danced for a majority of the night. Tim and Kathleen are very special people who seem to know that Jesus loves them and cares for them. They find themselves in the midst of sleeping under a bridge, fighting off unwanted rodents and intruders, going to the bathroom about 2 feet away from where they sleep, but making the best of what they have.

I am excited to see where God takes this relationship. We believe strongly this was a divine meeting. We left saying, "we'll be back, if we don't see you here, we'll miss you, but we'll know you are in a safe place." God brings hope. Hope to those who are struggling. Hope to those who are content. I am thankful to the Lord that He continues to put us in situations that brings glory to His Kingdom!

Love Deeply

Blast from the Past

2010-07-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I took a group of girls to see one of my college teammates, Trena Peel, play in a pro softball game. It's always so good to see people you went through the fire with; the challenging times in life, the laughs, the cries, the hillarious times! That girl has not changed at all :) Same attitude, same Tre :)

During the game, this young boy, who I would say was about 10 or so came running up the bleachers with tears in his eyes. We couldn't figure out what he was doing, because no one was sitting behind us. We were at the very top. He was just balling looking over the railing. I decided to go see if he was ok. "What's wrong man? I asked." "I lost my Daddy and I can't find him." Zach's little lips were quivering, as alligator tears rolled down his face. I took him to the press box, where they made an announcement for his Dad to report to the specific area. I still have a lump in my throat to what I saw next. After about five minutes or so, Zach pointed and yelled, "THERE HE IS!" He bolted off running down the bleachers, weaving in and out of people. His Dad in the meantime, was doing the exact same thing. When they embraced each other, his Dad held him oh so tightly, as if he would never let go. Zach sunk his head in to his Daddy's chest and just wept and wept.

Needless to say, no one in the group I brought had a set of dry eyes either. It was interesting though, because I think we were all crying for different reasons. I immediately thought about Jesus. I thought about how we get lost at times, how we may stray away unintentionally, yet Jesus is there with His arms wide open ready to embrace His child. However, I also noticed our girls in the group whose father's aren't present in their life. I couldn't imagine what was going through their heads. Abandonment, maybe? I wish my father would care that much, perhaps. I don't know, but my prayers at that specific moment was for each of them to come to know a Father who never fails. A Father who stays in pursuit. A Father whose love is perfect. A Father who wants them to come . . .

Love Deeply

2 1/2 More Weeks . . .

2010-07-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe the summer has flown by so fast! It seemed like just yesterday we were welcoming in the staff and going through training. Now, we find ourselves preparing for the ending program a couple weeks in advance.

Being real with ya'll, I must say even though the summer has flown, that's not such a bad thing for me. I have really struggled this summer and I will be glad when it's over. Real glad! My personal opinion to anyone out there is this: if you are involved with full-time ministry throughout the school year, don't work any camps during the summer. It plays a toll on you physically, mentally, emotionally, and more importantly spiritually.

I'm looking forward to a trip back home in August. And feel free any of you out there who have connections and skymile points to fly me on an all-inclusive trip to a resort, on a beach, in the middle of nowhere :) :) :) oh, and can you add some wave runners to that too please! God is good as always my friends.

Love Deeply

Receiving Love

2010-07-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

Some people can outright admit they do not know how to receive love, others can voice that loudly through their actions. Wherein lies the question, why do people struggle with receiving love? Is it the way they were raised? Is it because of situations that have happened in peoples lives? Is it because they have never been loved? Pride? Fear? Hurt?

In a way, I can relate. At times, I find myself struggling with receiving Christ's love. And maybe, when it comes down to it - that is the problem we face here in Aliquippa as well. I will say though, the Lord continues to speak to me in whispers, "receive my Love my Child." A lot of people we come in contact with don't necessarily know how to receive help, or love from our staff. Many times we are told "no" in situations where we know the need is extremely high. We face some individuals who will continually show anger and frustrations toward us, while we make it a point to reflect nothing but love back to them. Christ's love.

Christ's love is pure, forgiving, true, compassionate, kind, gentle, and perfect, to say the very, very least. When individuals do not know how to receive the love of Christ, in which ever way that may look, the heart of God itself is not received either. Our prayer for our kids and families here is to learn how to receive a Living God. To learn how to receive true Love, Christ's love.
We are confident in time, this will indeed happen.

Love Deeply.

Lebron James

2010-07-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

I apologize ahead of time. Why in the world is this nation waiting on pins and needles for one man to make a decision about where he is going to play basketball in the future! Is this really what this world is coming to. Considering that not only Lebron James, but a majority of professional sports athletes could fund small nations with their respective salaries, I'm not too fond of any of the crap going on. :) The end. I'm done venting. It's ridiculous! But before I'm for real done, I will give credit and say that there are professional athletes who do take care of and give back in a way which truly reflects their character. Alright, now I'm really done! I just got mad. Enough.

As far as camp goes, we are finishing up week 3. This week we our providing our kids with criminalization and sex education. We had an individual who spent 13 years in prison come in and speak to our group, in addition to a local police officer. Both individuals offered empowering information on the consequences of decision making throughout their teen years. We pray that seeds were sown in our youth who are being pulled more and more to the streets.
As far as the sex education goes, I had a first. With parental consent, we were able to show our students pictures of sexually transmitted days. That wasn't the "first;" the "first" was the fact that one of our girls got so sick from looking at the STD's she had to go home. When I called her mom and told her, she laughed hysterically at me. It was great :)

God continues to show me how in pursuit of me He is. That He loves me, and He cares about me. He is my King. He is my everything. I pray that I am reflecting His Kingdom to our kids and our staff daily.

Love Deeply.

What A Weekend!

2010-06-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I went to Washington, D.C. with my two little sisters to watch a WNBA game. We had a blast! We were able to spend 2 nights in the city, because of donation given to us through Honor Points. I WANT TO SAY A HUGE THANK YOU TO DALE "THE TRUMP" RECTOR for providing us with that hotel. It was a huge blessing! Unfortunately, the team we went to go see lost. HaHa. The girls had a blast though, and that's all that matters!

Tonight I had 5 visitors that brought a big smile to my face! My parents, my grandma, my sweet Aunt, and my beautiful nephew traveled from Philly to come spend the night. My parents and Bubba came up from Georgia and decided to take a trip from Philly to the Quip to see me. My Aunt is staring at me right now and is about to get her butt whooped! :) Even though it is going to be a short visit I am so very glad to see all of them! I have the best family in the world!

Week 2 has started for camp. I ask for prayers of energy and endurance as the summer goes along. It's just a completely different schedule and I find myself tired a lot of the time. But, God is good and continues to restore me daily. I hope everyone out there reading this is doing well! Count your blessings my friends! I love ya'll!

Love Deeply!!!

CAMP!!!!!!!

2010-06-23T18:25:00.001-07:00

So, we started our camp this week. Today was day 2! We have 10 boys in our program and 3 girls. These last couple of days, well actually weeks, have been exhausting. But, ready or not, camp is here and we are excited to finally have started it. This week's theme is "We In Dis Togetha!" We have been and will continue to focus on team building skills throughout the remainder of the week. Overall our kids are doing a great job. I will also say though, there are many challenges ahead in which our kids will have to face in regards to the program and the expectations we have for them! Keep you updated!

During the summer my schedule is completely different. From 12 to 5 is camp; however, before and after is planning, planning, planning and debriefing. Our days are extremely long! If I can be honest with you, I miss my schedule throughout the year. Actually, it's not even my schedule, IT'S MY PEOPLE!!! I miss making visits, talking to people, sharing in their victories and listening to their brokenness. God again continues to remind me about the passion I have for people and their stories. This will be a very challenging summer for me. As my heart yearns to be with the people I have built relationships with over the last year, I know God has me working this camp for a reason. God's a tricky kat! We'll see what He has in store for me.

Love Deeply

10 Hours of Sleep!

2010-06-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

As you can tell, I am definitely late on my post this week! Myself, as well as the rest of the staff are exhausted. Hold up, that's not good, considering we haven't even started camp yet! YIKES! So, in my attempt to rejuvenate this weekend and take in "the calm before the storm," I slept for 10 hours last night. I don't have a clue of when the last time I did that was. My plans for the weekend ARE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! And that's how I want it. (Hmm...I wonder if it will really go that way.)

For the past two weeks we have been in staff training. Though educational, thank God it's over with. This summer I will be helping lead a program called A.F.A., which stands for A Future Anticipated. Our program is focused on at risk youth who are being pulled to the streets. We will provide different life skill units throughout our 10 week program. There will be 12 students in our program which we will building relationships with, in hopes of sewing seeds for a harvest of transformation. Please pray for God to provide incredible opportunities throughout the summer to speak truth and love into the lives of our kids.

Our staff is a really amazing group this year. Even though we haven't really hit camp yet (this brings many challenges and obstacles) our staff has shown great maturity. There is definitely a spirit of unity amongst the individuals which God has brought to the Quip this summer. Praise Him! In saying all of this, we are excited for Tuesday to come. We are committing our summer to the Lord and expecting Him to do great thing! TO HIM BE ALL THE GLORY! Amen and Amen!

Love Deeply

I HAVE A.D.D. - Fo Shizzy!

2010-06-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

So, we started staff training for our summer programs yesterday. I was once again reminded that I have some major issues concentrating and focusing on what I am supposed to be focusing on. Instead, I find myself trying to call people in training, seeing if they have their phones on silent or not, texting, distracting those around me, getting up pretending to go get some snacks, or just straight thinking about everything else other than what I am supposed to be thinking about. :) I mean, Mom, why didn't you get me tested when I was younger or something?

I also was reminded that I can't have serious conversations with people. I tried to bust out a heart to heart with one of my friends in training today, and I just started laughing. I caught myself while others were laughing at me and I said, "wo wo wo this conversation is getting too serious, so I'm going to stop now!" So, I did and people called me ridiculous! :) :) :)

Basically, I just wanted to confirm to everyone out there what you already new . . . I'm as crazy as ever, struggle when I am supposed to be focusing, and don't like serious conversations! This is how Jesus made me, take it up with Him. :)

Love Deeply!

THE CHAOS BEGINS!

2010-06-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I made the mistake of thinking it would be a nice, smooth, relaxing transition back to the Quip after a short week in AZ. WRONG! I stepped straight back into CHAOS! Applications, applications, eat, applications, applications, eat, applications, sleep. That is what my life was like all last week and up until this point. We have been running around crazy from house to house trying to get some of our applications in for our students this summer. One might think that would be easy! WRONG, AGAIN!

This is also our last week of preparation before our summer staff comes in. Sunday will be our staff welcome dinner. We open up the summer with a time of eating together and worship. I remember last summer when I was in the position of coming in not knowing anyone. Now, I am on the other side of things. HaHa. Different perspective, from a different view! Our camps do not actually start until June 21st. Our staff will be in intense training for the next two weeks.

All that being said, we're ready for God to transform lives this summer. We're ready for Him to reveal Himself in major ways. We are trusting that BIG THINGS WILL HAPPEN! Amen and Amen. Please be in prayer about this upcoming summer for our program and our staff. Thank you so much!

Blah, Blah, Blah

2010-05-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from AZ. I had a blast. I would type a real deep blog today, but quite honestly I don't feel up to it :) I think I have jet lag :) and am still trying to adjust back to Eastern time! So, I'm going to leave you with this: I love each of you and covet all of your prayers being thrown up for me and our community throughout this call that God has on my life. God is without a doubt working . . . .

Love Deeply

Will pick back up next week :)

"What do you want me to do for you?"

2010-05-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Hello from the state of AZ! I am here with my best friends awaiting Saturday, where Kathryn Jean Stevens will be getting married! We have already had some great times and many more to come throughout the week.

This morning I was reading Matthew 20. Verses 29-34 really stuck out to me. To give you a little summary, Jesus and His followers were leaving Jericho. Two blind men sitting down on the side of the road yelled out to Jesus, "have mercy on us." The crowd that was following Jesus rebuked the men and told them to be quiet. The two men then yelled even louder in their persistence. "Jesus stopped and called them. 'What do you want me to do for you?' he asked." They replied, "we want our sight to be restored." Jesus healed the two blind men.

I feel that so many times we are afraid to ask Jesus what we really want. Whether it is out of fear, or we think it doesn't matter to Christ, or other circumstances; we hesitate, we don't ask. My friend Gao and I were visiting another friend in the community last week. As our friend expressed her hurt and frustrations concerning her life and her family, we asked her a simple question; "What is it that you want Jesus to do for you and your family." She responded and we prayed in boldness for her request. I was reminded of this story while reading the passage out of Matthew this morning.

God turns his ear to the cries of His children. He wants us to seek Him. He wants us to ask Him. He wants to have compassion. He does have compassion for us. I just want to encourage those who are reading this to ask...to not be fearful, but to ask. Whatever it may be, ask our King exactly what you want Him to do for you. May the peace that surpasses all understanding be upon each of us as we wait for the answer.

Love Deeply

Tough Times

2010-05-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

This last week and a half or so has been pretty difficult. Myself personally, and our staff as a whole have hit some pretty tough times. Some of you have heard me mention the "2 month mark." This mark is where I feel around every 2 months or so, I need a break; for restoration and quite honestly to just get away. It's as if once that 2 month mark comes around things become so heavy and so intense, I need to take a step back. And wouldn't you know, it's been about 2 months since I took my last break and went home. Thankfully, I am headed to Arizona on Saturday for my best friend's wedding. I am spending a week there and expect many good times, some tears, and tons of laughing that brings you to the floor!

I know some of you are wanting an update on Layla. Unfortunately, after a week of being at the hospital undergoing rehab Layla is back on the streets. We went to visit her every other day, and our visits were always so good. We would play cards, we would talk, we would watch tv, we would pray. I was very honest with Layla and the steps she needed to take in order to get long term help. The problem was that Layla did not want that help. She would say respectively, "Steph, I understand what you are saying and I really do listen to you, I do, but I don't want to go through with that." The first time I saw her out on the street again, she was on the corner. As you could imagine, this shattered my heart. What do I do now Lord? "Love her. Love her as I love her."

Some of the people we really pour into here have taken big steps backwards this past week. This obviously brings much burden to our hearts. As my friends and I were doing street time yesterday we talked about how hard it is to take a step back, and let God be God. When the Lord has placed a specific burden on your heart for specific people, it is natural to want to reach out and meet needs they have. I think what a couple of us here are learning is that God wants us to fight the battle first and foremost through prayer.

Though difficult weeks have come and gone our Savior still reigns. He is our King of Kings, our Lord of Lords. He is my Provider. My Shelter. My Protector. My Healer. My Redeemer. My Everything. My Encourager. HE IS VICTORIOUS! Amen.

Love Deeply.

He Meets Us on The Hospital Floor

2010-05-04T08:32:00.000-07:00

I found myself in a movie type atmosphere last week that I will try and put into words. My friend Layla, who has finally been reaching out for help decided to make a huge step this past Wednesday. As a reminder, she is a crack addict, homeless, and lives a life of prostitution. From an outsiders point of view, people would probably identify her as "hopeless." I beg to differ. My friend Diz and I found ourselves taking Layla to her sisters house. Layla believes her sister is there for her always and will allow her to stay in her home. This is not the case. However, I decided to agree to take her there, because the second part of the deal with Layla, was that if her sister wasn't home, she would be taken to a hospital for rehabilitation. (Please understand that our relationship is strong enough now where I speak very, very boldly to Layla - without apology). We arrived at her sisters house. She wasn't home.

Layla wanted me to write a letter to her sister. She was saying everything, and I was just documenting it. "I want to come home. I am sorry. Please forgive me." She started to cry. Even though Layla has many, many issues - she feels an enormous amount of pain that she cannot hide at times. I held her hand and asked her if she was ok. "I am never ok, she tearfully replied back." We proceeded to go to the local hospital. As Layla was going through the initial process of being admitted, I sat and prayed. My heart broke for the amount of emotional pain Layla felt inside, along with her addiction. I was in a private waiting room as the time went on; she wanted me to wait until she was completely admitted.

The nurse came in and said I could go see her. I walked into what seemed to look like a holding cell with one cot. We were on the Psychiatric Unit, so you could imagine why. However, Layla had taken her one sheet with her pillow and laid it on the ground. I saw a frail, sick body laying on the hospital floor. I couldn't help, but envision our Lord and Savior huddled over her, the Healer of all Healers. I will never forget that image. I believe Jesus met Layla right there, in here brokenness, in her despair.

I have since then, gone and visited Layla a couple of times. It is evident that God is at work. He has not brought her this far, to just leave her out to dry. I will have more of an update next week. Please be in prayer for Layla.

God Is Love

A Little Push . . .

2010-04-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

It has always amazed me here how much a little encouragement can do for someone. Now don't get me wrong, I know that is the case all over the world. However, for people who may not necessarily always hear encouragement, I find such empowerment in it.

Today I was working along side "Hope" who was suspended from school for a certain incident. I knew scrubbing the walls of a nasty old house was not at all what she had in mind when I asked her if she would be interested in helping me work on a house for our summer staff. Quite honestly, I was shocked that Hope agreed to help when I asked. I knew this would be a challenge though for her, because 1) she doesn't like to get dirty and 2) she's never done anything like this before. She complained for the first 3 walls out of 4. The truth of the matter is that she didn't know what she was capable of doing. "We're never going to finish this. My back hurts. I want to quit. I'm not doing this anymore. I'm leaving. I'm never saying yes to anything else again." To each statement she voiced, I came back with encouragement. "Hope, you're doing such a good job. Look at the difference you are making. I am so proud of you. You're doing great. Almost finished. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU." I just don't know if Hope hears that enough.

By the third wall, Hope realized what she had done. There was pride. There was joy. There was empowerment. For a job so little, I learned that encouragement to Hope was everything. In the midst of scrubbing and more scrubbing I told Hope, "I know I tell you this all the time, but Jesus loves you. He really, really does. Do you know that?" "Yes, I do know that Steph." My prayer is that Hope will one day come into the presence of and join in a life with the Almighty Encourager. He hears our cries.

Love Deeply.

Search & Rescue

2010-04-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

I wanted to wait and blog today, because I had a specific story to share with you guys. If you have read my blogs in the past you know about my friend "Layla," who I met on the streets over the summer. It has been a journey in itself building our relationship. Unfortunately, she lives a lifestyle of prostitution and is a crack addict. It has been a beautiful thing to see how the Lord has worked in our friendship. From someone who used to turn and walk away from me during the summer, "Layla" will now engage in conversation with me. It's quite interesting actually. The corner she sometimes works is across the street from our office. We will at times just sit and pray for her. I actually walked into the bar the other day looking for her. She was sippin on a cold one through a straw! It was a great picture.

All this being said, I went to speak to a parent yesterday at a local church. She was serving food to local people in need. The first person I saw when I walked in the door was "Layla." She looked at me and said hello. She was almost a little standoffish though, so I continued on to the parent. After speaking to the parent, I wanted to say goodbye to "Layla." As I walked up to her I saw tears and tears just rolling down her face; she was all alone. I sat down and began talking to her. Our conversations always get back to her bringing up her lifestyle of addiction and prostitution. For the next hour or so, "Layla" really opened up to me and shared some information about herself that she has never shared before. We ended up driving around looking for some good fried chicken! On "Layla's" request she wanted to meet today to sit down and talk about rehab and getting professional help. We were to meet at 1:00.

Unfortunately, "Layla" did not show up. My friend and I went on a "search and rescue" mission as we call it here; looking in every bar and ally, and hangout spot I have seen her before. We didn't find her. I was reminded today though of how God stays in pursuit of His children. I will see "Layla" again on the streets and I will love her just the same. "Layla" needs help, she needs Jesus. And if we as a body of Christ give up on people that God has directly put into our path, what hope do these people have? It is the pursuit of our Lord that encourages me; His love story that continues on and on. Please be praying for "Layla" to find her identity not in crack or prostitution, but in the true and pure love of Jesus Christ alone.

Love Deeply

A Day Late ... Sorry

2010-04-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

So, this post is going to be all over the place, no real theme, sorry. This past week has been full of ups and downs. God has been softening hearts that we have been praying for, in addition to opening doors where we least expect it. Praise Him! Unfortunately though, I have also faced some real issues concerning injustice and racism. I wish I could go into detail about that situation, but I am going to pass. Quite honestly, it makes me sick to think about, much less type about, and I would just rather share it in person for anybody who is interested. With all that being said, God is always encouraging me with His goodness and faithfulness.

I am loving building solid relationships with the kids in our community. There are a handful of girls that I really try and pour into. Today I hung out with my future mentee (hopefully) and I also spent some time with another seventh grade girl. One of them has been working on her anger issues, but had a little fallback this week. We went to the track, walked around and threw the frisbee a little. It is always such a blessing to take kids out of the community, if you will, and spend quality time with them. I see different individuals when I do this. It's very interesting. We had a good talk. She always seems to talk through her anger and come to realize she is in the wrong. She is a great kid, just some heavy issues. Then there is my little mentee ... she is crazy! In a good way! I think we feed off of each other. I also think I was probably exactly like her when I was younger. We both love sports and just hanging out. We went to the park and played a little badminton and the frisbee version of P.I.G. It was tons of fun. I love seeing these kids grow!

I find myself loving what I am doing more and more. I love people. I cannot deny that. I love the challenge. I love being a servant of the Most High God. Nothing makes me happier than seeing God work in the lives of those around me when they don't even know it! We are so very blessed!

Love Deeply!

So, I Had A Question Asked to Me ....

2010-04-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

Last night I met a couple through my friends here in Aliquippa. We were all hanging out watching the NCAA championship game. During commercial breaks we had small talk. The couple and I were getting to know each other by asking questions and so forth. They knew I was in Aliquippa, working under Aliquippa Impact, to serve the community in hopes of advancing the Kingdom. Then they asked a question that really caught me off guard. "Steph, so what do you ultimately want to do in your life?" I kind of laughed sarcastically under my breath, and then replied, "THIS." "This is what I want to ultimately do."

I have a passion to serve people; their physical needs, emotional needs, and most importantly their spiritual needs. I have a yearning desire to help people find and not only experience, but live out a life of freedom, joy, and true love. I have a burden for people who do not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. God willing, I want to be the bridge between those who are lost and Jesus. I find pure honor and privilege in having the opportunity to be Jesus' hands and feet. This is what I want to do with my life. Yes, THIS IS IT.

My goals and dreams used to consist of playing and winning state championships and national championships, and being the best I could be for my teammates and those who fought next to me in the battle. Now I find myself dreaming and praying for broken people to come to Christ. To see that the battle has already been conquered by the cross is a victory in itself. I am just a humble and broken servant, who has been redeemed by the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. "What do you ultimately want to do with your life?" I want to serve . . . to serve all.

Love Deeply.

God's Timing

2010-03-30T10:07:00.000-07:00

I have been encouraged this week with what God is doing here. We (our staff) have been having some divine conversations with people our staff has been praying for. It's funny how only during God's timing will He move. He is sovereign! My friend, who just got out of jail a couple weeks ago, has been walking the streets. This is someone who struggles with the life of prostitution and addiction. I wrote her in jail, but she never responded. We prayed for her while she was in and have committed her to the Lord. As you could imagine the first time I saw her back on the streets, I wanted to run up to her and give her a big hug and talk to her. This wasn't the case however. I felt the Lord saying, "wait." So I did. I saw her a couple more times, and it was still the same quiet voice, "wait." So I did. Then came Thursday Night Mic Night. I wasn't supposed to go to the cafe until later on that evening. For "some reason" I ended up going earlier. Wouldn't you know my friend was the very first person I saw sitting on one of the couches.

Without going into a various amount of details, my friend and I had a conversation for about 30 minutes. We talked about God, where she was in her life, that she was seeking help, and that instead of being on the streets, she was now living with a friend. Though there were still some very hard things to hear her say, and though I know she still has many, many issues to work through, I know God has His hand on her. All this being said, it makes me wonder if I would have talked to her those couple times on the streets, would she have opened up the same. I don't think she would have. I think God's precise timing and location in which I finally spoke to my friend was sovereign. Our God is faithful. He wants us to rely on Him fully! I am continuing to learn . . .

Love Deeply

Back In The Quip!

2010-03-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

What up from a 90 degree, sunny day in the Quip! Oh hold up hold up hold up, alright that's not the case at all. I had a great time back home with family and friends! The ATL was good! I'm just getting back into the swing of things here; ready to see my people :)

I have been reading through Psalms lately and have been encouraged by the comfort and compassion of God. David continually talks about how the Lord hears our cries. In such a crazy and busy world I am so thankful that I will always have the Lord hear me out on things. It also hurts to know that some people do not have a relationship with Christ, therefore do not talk to Him. Just the other day one of the individuals here was going through a tough time. She is not one to share her feelings and talk about what is going on in her life. I asked her though, "Do you ever talk to God when you go through these rough times in your life?" Her reply was no. This kills me. If only she knew how very much God wants to hold her and help her through these trials. If only she knew the amount of true love the Savior has for her. I trust that God is revealing Himself to her day by day. I trust through God's authority and constant pursuit that she will come crawling to the foot of the cross. On this day, I will rejoice with tears of thanksgiving. Our God is good!

Love deeply.

ATL

2010-03-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to give you a very short update. I have been home since Monday and am leaving on Tuesday. Great time with the family and friends. Headed to Hartwell tomorrow to spend Sunday and Monday at Matty and Kaitlyn's. Will be back in the Quip on Tuesday. I will catch back up with this when I get back towards the middle of the week.

Love Deeply

Excited for Spring

2010-03-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

This week I had to reintroduce myself to 50 degree weather and it has been amazing! I will say though it's pretty funny when you think it's about 70 out, and you drive by a temperature sign reading 51 degrees. My mom said I have become a true northerner. I want to make it clear that I will never be a true northerner. I belong in the south :) We have been enjoying the warmer weather though for sure. This past weekend my friends and I went to the park and well, we first walked on a frozen lake, but then were able to play a little football in a warmer area. It was a blast.

With warmer weather, comes more people to the street. It's been great. With hopes of Spring around the corner, it is almost as if new life has come. We have enjoyed the last couple of days with some prayer walks and playing with the kids outside. It excites me knowing that the warmer the weather gets, the more people we will be in contact with on the streets. I want to go ahead and praise Him for the things that are to come.

Lastly, I want to give a little shout out to my beautiful friends Erin and Bethany. As I type this, they are on there way to Kenya. The Lord has called them to this beautiful land and I cannot wait to see what He is going to do through them. They have been in obedience over the last year+ praying and waiting for the Lord's sovereign timing in all of this. He has finally said, "Now is the time my beloved." Please pray for them as they begin this journey with the Lord.

Headed home on Monday. Looking forward to the restoration period. Until next time, love deeply.

Damascus Road

2010-03-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

If you are not familiar with this road, this is the road where God revealed Himself to Saul, who would soon be transformed into Paul. Saul was a man who "breathed out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples." At one point Saul sought out his authority and asked permission to seize and imprison any men or women who claimed to be Christ's followers. Once fully transformed, Paul became one of the most influential men for the Kingdom. He was known for speaking boldly and fearlessly in the name of the Lord.

We find ourselves praying and begging God for Damascus Road transformations here in Aliquippa. I find a lot of similarities between "Saul" and the people here who don't quite know God is going to grab a hold of their heart yet. Back then people doubted Paul's transformation. "Isn't he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? And hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?" One of our men here in the Quip that has recently been restored, faces similar comments today. After so many years of addiction, how can someone drop their drugs and pick up Jesus? Can someone lose their identity as a prostitute, and gain such a name as "beloved?" Once a drug dealer, always a drug dealer. Once a prostitute, always a prostitute. THIS COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. The God I serve, Jesus Christ, has the power and compassion to turn people's life around from the pit of any sin. THIS IS HIS DESIRE! He transformed Paul back then, and He will transform men, women, and children alike today.

If you are not familiar with the story of Paul, you can find it in the 9th chapter of the book of Acts. I would encourage you to check it out. Once lost, now found is the story of our Lord's love. Praying and believing in Damascus Road transformations . . .

Love Deeply.

Back to Normal ...

2010-02-23T11:43:00.000-08:00

So, the snow has started melting off and we have had a little warmer weather lately; warmer meaning in the 30's! I'll take it though, as long as the snow goes away. Even more importantly, we're back to seeing, visiting, and hanging out with people. That alone is a breath of fresh air.

Over the past week, I have cried with people due to suffering and I have also rejoiced with people due to victory. The Kingdom does indeed include both and it is a beautiful portrait. Through continual prayer and interceding we are seeing God move more and more here in the Quip. Hearts are being softened, men are being raised up, doors are being opened to share the gospel, and people are coming to the One who yearns to be in a relationship with His creation. There is a song by Toby Mac called "A City On Our Knees." The chorus says: "Tonight's the night, for the sinners and the saints. Two worlds collide, in a beautiful display. It's all up tonight, when we step across the line. We can sail across the sea, to a city with one King; A city on our knees." This song reminds me that we are all one family under one Savior, no one better than the other, all broken, seeking after One True Love.

As we see the Kingdom advancing daily here, we are encouraged that the Lord continues to hear our cries. He is faithful to His name and the promises He has left us with. While getting back on track with serving others here in the community, we see it as an incredible honor and privilege to join Christ in what He is doing in Aliquippa.

Love Deeply.

So I Asked My Friends . . .

2010-02-16T16:11:00.000-08:00

"It's been slow here in the Quip due to some weather if you haven't heard. Can you give me something to blog about?" They pondered, and said, "Yes, you can blog about my love life. Well, maybe you can put our profiles up." I responded back, "Don't think that I won't." Well, as you can obviously tell . . . I am following through with my words. So here they are: (Oh, these are made up names, but if you can rhyme well - you should have it down -- and if you do not know these kats and are interested in getting to know them better boys, just contact me. I'll hook you up with the digits!)

Name: Sage Thin

Age: 26
Ht: 5'5"
Wt: I mean look at her last name!
Features: Blonde hair, blue eyes, body full of curves
About Her: Intelligent (just received her Masters degree in B.S.), funny, dependable, loves the Lord, loves the boys, successfully climbed Table Mountain in Cape Town, South Africa, has a bopsy twin named Fee Fan, dedicated to her high school girls' small group, known for her athletic skills and her technique performing the Cupid Shuffle, keeps a good stash in the freezer, wants a Dominican baby, coming to the Quip soon

Name: Fee Fan Handress

Age: 29
Ht: 5'5"
Wt: Step Into A Slim Jim
Features: Blonde hair, blue eyes, loves her pointy cowgirl boots
About Her: Hotty totty (Teacher of the Year - enough said, YOU WANT HER), loves the Lord, Master's degree in B.S., genuine, trustworthy, known for her high pitched voice when she gets excited, famous for her performance in the '08 Olympics where she received a gold medal in volleyball, has a very soft heart due to her two horses getting stolen and slaughtered in her childhood, looking for a man with two tractors and 3 bales of hay, wants to open a horse farm in Cape Town, South Africa, keeps you laughing with smart A comments, coming to the Quip soon

I will have my phone on me. Call me boys if you are interested. These are my girls. I love them dearly. If I had a brother who still needed to be married, I would hook him up foo shhiiiizzzzzyyyy.

Thank you for dealing with my insanity. The weather has gotten to me. Love deeply.

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW

2010-02-09T11:47:00.000-08:00

People who live up here in the North just for the fun of it are ABSOLUTELY insane! You people are insane! I realize I just called about 90% of my family crazy . . . hahahaha! I also now understand the reason my Grammy and Grampy came down South for the winter time.

Over the last 4 days we have had 24 inches of snow; and are expected to get 6-10 more inches the next 24 hours. Oh, how I have never missed the Dirty South so much before! Where I think all this snow is a natural disaster, this is a way of life for these crazies up here. I found myself on my porch the other morning with a snow shovel in hand staring a good 10 minutes at everything. I thought to myself, "I need to help," and then realized "where the heck would I put any of it." It's EVERYWHERE! Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed, went back inside, and took a nap :)

All this being said, God is still good! He is still the King of the city and the King of this world. This is kind of random to this post, but I was so encouraged by our youth group on Thursday. When I look around our YG I see kids of different races, kids of different ages, kids from broken families, and kids just wanting to be kids. We started off our time together with a little Cha Cha Slide! We got crazy, we acted a fool! Then we entered a time of worship. It's funny with our kids; if you walk into our youth group at one point during the night, one might think there is nothing getting accomplished, but chaos. If you walk into our youth group during another point in the night, one could tell how desperate these kids are in yearning to be loved by the Lord, in addition to wanting to be taught about Jesus. There is such spiritual growth happening. It is amazing to be a part of. Praise Him. Our prayer for our youth group is that we create an atmosphere where each and every student will be encountered by the Living God. He is hearing our cries, and being faithful to His Name.

Love Deeply.

Addiction

2010-02-02T10:05:00.000-08:00

One of the toughest battles we face here in Aliquippa is addiction; addiction of drugs, addiction of alcohol, addiction to prostitution. The definition of addiction is the state of being ENSLAVED to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming. The word "enslaved" pierces my soul, knowing what that exactly represents. Let me go a little further and say that we see these addictions through believers and non-believers. Unfortunately, any type of addiction is a sick disease. A disease that the devil uses to hold men, women, and children in bondage.

Over the last week, we have seen one individual come to the realization that their addiction will lead to death if something is not done about it. We believe another individual has fallen back into their addiction after being sober for a long period of time. As you could imagine, walking side by side with anyone dealing with an addiction is hard to watch. Hard, because you want to help. Hard, because you want them to recognize their hurt. Hard, because you want them healed into freedom.

We have been facedown in prayer for these specific individuals, in addition for claiming victory over addiction within this community. Though sometimes the addiction may win the battle, I am here to say and claim that the Lord will win the war. The Lord hears our cries and will free those in captivity. As a body of Christ we must learn and understand our role for interceding on others' behalf. God has opened my eyes to that while here in Aliquippa. May we all truly understand the importance of fighting the battle for one another.

Love Deeply.

He Is Enough ...

2010-01-25T11:58:00.000-08:00

You provide the fire
And I'll provide the sacrifice
You provide the Spirit
And I will open up inside

Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God
Fill me up God

Love of God overflow
Permeate all my soul
Love of God overflow
Permeate all my soul

Fill me up God
Fill me up God

I know the lyrics to this song are pretty basic, but I lived them out last week. Unfortunately, but fortunately last week here in the Quip was the most challenging and heartbreaking week for me since I have been here. Due to some situations that happened, I found myself directly in the middle of "the fire." Even more so, I found myself having to "sacrifice" some things, that I admittingly so did not want to sacrifice. There were people I needed to confront, and people were confronting me. Though all of these confrontations were without a doubt out of love, concern, and protection - pain still happened. I have come to realize throughout my life that emotional pain hurts a lot more than physical pain. Physical pain sucks, but I can deal with it. I have a much harder time dealing with emotional pain. All of this being said, God is good. He Is Enough . . .

Though I was put through the fire this past week, God still revealed Himself to me. He did this through the love and prayers of others, and quite honestly the pain in which I felt. One of my friends here mentioned that people think being a believer is walking with Christ in the victories of others, serving one another, and being in prayer for individuals. Which it is. However, he made it real clear that true ministry is sacrificing things and people that you might not necessarily want to do in order for the Kingdom to advance. Feeling absolutely numb and weak, being heartbroken, wanting to hold on to something or someone, but letting go ... that's pain, but that is ministry. It is during these times where I have found Christ to pierce my soul the most, to draw me closer and closer to Him.

This is where I must learn that God Is Enough. This goes along with my last blog referencing that things are so much easier said than done. God loves us. He loves us more than you and I could ever, ever grasp our thoughts around. He wants the very best for us. We are His children. I am thankful to our Lord for putting His children in the middle of fire, in order to advance His almighty Kingdom.

Love deeply.

Easy to Say, Harder to Live

2010-01-18T08:52:00.000-08:00

Well, here you go again with another blog that might be hard to swallow. Trust me, I am trying to swallow it as well. We all know that everything is easier said than done. I type this now admitting that saying you are a believer and walking out what Jesus walked out is harder than anyone could ever imagine. We're all so quick to take the good, to rejoice together with Christ and our victories; yet so very slow to join Him in the suffering. Why? We are weak. We can't stand the pain. I can't stand the pain. Though we know discipline, heartache, challenges, and difficult situations draw us closer to Christ, the process is overwhelming and quite honestly unbearable at times.

There have been certain situations in my life that have molded and shaped me into the person I am today. Some of these situations have been times of rejoicing, but a majority of them have been times of suffering. If I am who I claim to be, than I have no choice but to trust in the Lord during these times. It sure doesn't take away the pain that you or I may feel throughout the trial, but it is the only option you and I have. This too shall pass ...

Love Deeply

Speak, For Your Servant Is Listening ...

2010-01-11T11:45:00.000-08:00

Over the last couple of days I feel like our group has heard some pretty tough, but gentle words from the Lord. Two things keep coming up; conviction of compassion towards people that are hard to love, in addition to allowing God to trust us "with very little, so that we can also be trusted with much" (Luke 16:10).

It's always hard to receive discipline from the Lord, but oh how sweet it is when He draws you into His arms! I read yesterday in Luke 16 about Lazarus. Though this is not the first time I have read his story, it seemed to hit me a little harder this time. Lazarus was a beggar, covered with soars, longing to eat what fell from a rich man's table. In vs. 21 of Chapter 16, Jesus tells of how even dogs licked the sores and wounds of Lazarus. So here you have it; a man, detestable to all those around him . . . Let's face it, there are people in our life, whether it be at our workplace, school, church (yes church), family, or even those we minister to, that are hard to love. It is a challenge to love as Christ loved. If I am being honest with you there are people here in the Quip that are hard to love; those who are ungrateful, those who think the world owes them something, those who are manipulative, those who take advantage. Let me make it very clear though, this is not only in the Quip where you find these particular people. This happens all over. Even more, I am probably guilty of falling under some of these categories at some points in my life.

Who is the Lazarus in your life? Who is the person in your life that is hard to love, yet God has called you directly to minister to? HE CALLED YOU TO LOVE. When that situation arises, when you see the ultimate reflection of God's love from one human being to another, IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PEACEFUL PICTURE EVER PAINTED.

Love God. Love your Lazarus. Love deeply.

Go Ahead Jesus, Do Your Thing

2010-01-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

Last night, was our first open gym for basketball. IT WAS SO ENCOURAGING! Let me explain. A couple of months ago we started thinking and praying about a place where we could get a group of men together to play basketball. We really wanted to outreach to the men of our children from the summer camps. Here in Aliquippa there is really no place for people to play basketball during the winter time. There are gyms, but no one opens them up for the community; the organizations usually either charge too high of a price, or they do not want certain people in their gyms. So, we began praying specifically that a door would open for us in this vision. One day when we were prayer walking, we found ourselves standing outside one of the main churches here in the Quip. Basically, we all looked at each other and said why not? Why not go and ask? We prayed. We asked. God answered.

To make a long story short through different connections and God's favor we were promised the gym every Monday night, from 7-9. THIS WAS HUGE! It is amazing to see God's hand work through all of this. We didn't know how many guys would show up; we were in consistent contact with about 5 or 6 prior to last night. Over 25 guys showed up ranging from late highschoolers to guys who were in their early 30's. It was such an encouragement to see a bunch of guys together playing basketball, arguing about calls, and talking trash. I'M BEING FOR REAL!

When I watched and played last night, I saw God's Kingdom come! I saw what this open gym can turn into. I saw broken men. I saw redeemed men. I saw men who will on a weekly basis see God at work. This is our prayer. Our prayer screams and cries out for the men of this community, no matter what their past is nor where they are now, come to a saving and undeniable knowledge of Christ. Come Holy Spirit, come. Amen.

Love deeply.

Back In The Quip! WHAT! WHAT!

2010-01-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year first of all to everyone! I started that celebration off by going to the movies and watching Alvin and the Chipmunks! Wait, what!?! Yea, you heard me. It was actually a cute and funny movie. You can make fun of me later, because we sure were the only older ones there! It's all good though! We had fun!

I had a great time at home; time went by a little too fast though. I basically got to spend time with my beautiful family and friends! My little new nephew is absolutely gorgeous. It will be interesting to see where his little personality fits in the spectrum :)

It was good coming back to the Quip though. I was missing my peeps here as well! So 2010, I'm not real big on New Years resolutions, but if I would have to pick one I would say I just yearn to draw closer and closer to God. I want to be challenged by Him, taught by Him, and restored by Him, so I can in turn help people try and grasp and understand His love and who He is. I have learned here more than anywhere else that "church" takes place outside the building and not confined to the area within 4 walls. As a body of believers we have got to understand that it does not matter what "church" you represent; it matters that the body of Christ is being represented in a way in which the Lord, Himself walked this earth. I am sure I might have just stepped on some toes with that comment, GOOD! We need to recognize!

Alright, off to keepin the party going on this first day of 2010! Love deeply!

Coming At Ya From The DIrty South . . .

2009-12-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

So, I find myself typing this in the ATL; no snow on the ground, able to wear just a hoodie, and enjoying the fam. I feel as though I have so much to write about, but just haven't had the time to sit down and blog about things as of late.

Back in the Quip the Lord continues to teach me and challenge me daily about His character. I mentioned in my last blog about asking myself the simple question, "What would Jesus do" in this particular situation or that particular situation. On a much, much deeper level than ever before, Jesus has taught me about His compassion, His love, His patience, His Holiness, His forgiveness, His pursuit, His heart . . . I could go on and on. My friend and I were talking the other day how living in the Quip opens your eyes more than you could ever imagine in regards to literally seeing the difference between our Savior and us. Immediate conviction. Now, I know you're probably saying, "Steph, I don't need to move to the Quip to see the difference between God and me." I understand that. I am just trying to make the point that I am so very thankful for the vast and obvious difference between Jesus and myself.

Last Thursday during our youth group, we found ourselves in small groups worshipping God. One by one you would hear the voices of our youth speak aloud who God was to them; "provider, healer, perfect, forgiving, holy, loving . . . " This time of worship without a doubt pierced my soul. Too often we forget to take the time to sit and worship God for who He is to us.

During this Christmas season and beyond I encourage you to sit at the foot of the cross and worship the Lord. That may look different for everyone; writing a letter, singing, speaking, journaling, ect. We often say in the Quip that worshipping the Lord is the very beginning of coming back into the arms of our Savior.

Love deeply.

Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, Wisdom

2009-12-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

The pursuit of Jesus after His children is the exact reflection of unconditional love; not to mention the crucifixion. There have been numerous situations that have arisen here and afar lately that have taught me, or at least made me think more and more about unconditional love and what Jesus means by that. Are children or adults supposed to love or forgive a father or mother "figure" in their lives if they left them to fend for themselves? Are they supposed to continue to attempt to make amends with authority figures who have crossed them over and over again, bringing deep scars and wounds that will last a lifetime? Are children supposed to stay in pursuit of these individuals as Christ did for us and continues to do for those who don't know Him or have fallen away from Him? Forgiveness and unconditional love, or wisdom? I don't know the answer.

I see firsthand the effects of children's lives when again, their mother or father "figure" have failed in their life. Emotional scars, trust issues, a lack of communication skills, depression, questions, deep rooted pain, fronts, anger, unfortunately I could go on and on. What do these children and young adults do? Though cliche, I truly wonder what Jesus would do? I find myself at times giving guidance, that quite honestly seems unrealistic. It is so much easier said than done; forgive, love. How do you go about forgiving someone who made a conscious decision to leave your life the second they found out you were conceived (not to mention, them trying to jump back in your life 16 years later)? How do you forgive someone in your life who has chosen to love crack, alcohol, or any addiction more than they love you? Do you forgive everyone who has purposefully crossed you? I know Jesus did. Do you love everyone who has purposefully crossed you? I know Jesus did. Or, do you seek out wisdom in dealing with the situation at hand, knowing every circumstance is different.

I think there is a magnitude of power behind these words: unconditional love, forgiveness, and wisdom. I think these specific words reflect the difference between our Savior, Jesus Christ and His people. Where we are afraid to put our heart out there and hurt, Jesus loves; where we want to hold a grudge, Jesus forgives; where we want to take everything on ourselves, Jesus provides wisdom. God, I pray that you will intercede for your people; that through the cross, we will find the strength to live as you lived.

Love deeply.

Randomness Yo!

2009-12-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

I know a lot of the times my blogs are a little heavy, so I'm going to throw a little remix here and go a little light. Hopefully! :) This weekend I got to spend some time with my crazy Aunt from Maine. (That's a shout out Aunt Donna!). She came in to visit a long time friend and decided to head to the Quip for a little but. I showed her around the community and then we headed to the Strip District downtown with the rest of the crew here. Don't worry guys we didn't strip, though I was tempted to. I love the Strip; it's just a bunch of kind of cheap stores and street vendors. I had me a good ole pulled pork sandwich to bring me back to the dirty south, while it was snowing mind you! We had a lot of fun though!

And then there is Sunday; church. So those of you who know me pretty well (K & H I know you're laughing because I just said that), know that I'm not real good, AT ALL, in formal, serious settings. Well wouldn't you know that I had to read and light an advent candle in church, with one of our youth. I was doing pretty good until we had to read together as a congregation. All I could hear was Joel (co-pastor and director of A.I.) reading either faster or slower than I was. Basically, I lost it and couldn't get it back together. Imagine that! HaHa. So, I kind of just had to stop reading, turn around and laugh while I am lighting a candle. You know, laughing while lighting a candle to signify the preparation of Jesus' birth probably isn't a good thing in a traditional church. BUT, for me and Jesus - that's our relationship! We got jokes on each other!

Alright, prayer requests: Please pray for my sister and the fam as she prepares to bring baby Cole home later this week. Cole needs to come, because I have had 2 dreams the last 2 nights that he has already arrived. Also, please pray for Angela. We have not seen her in about a month. Unfortunately, we think she is in jail. We have, as ridiculous as it sounds, "Mugshot Monday" in our local paper. It was a very dark picture, but we thing her mugshot was in there. However, I am praying that if it is God's will for me to keep in contact with her, that He will somehow get me on the visitation list to see Angela.

All that being said, I am bracing for the cold weather. Actually, I prepared for it last night by running down the street with a bikini on. It was 10 degrees last night, and didn't phase me at all. I'M A SOLDIER!

Love deeply folks, love deeply!

True Love

2009-12-02T13:38:00.000-08:00

So I found myself sitting in a prison today with a heavy heart. Let me explain. I took two kids, ages 18 and 19, with one of their children, 3 months old, to see their mother in jail. The mom was incarcerated in September. God crossed this family and Aliquippa Impact's paths a couple of years ago. I met the 19 yearn old girl and her son for the first time the week of Thanksgiving. As I sat in her living room listening to the conversation between her and another AI staff member, I had to hold back tears. They were talking about her mom; how she was doing in jail and so forth. The second I met this girl, God burdened my heart for her. I could feel a sense of God crossing our paths for a reason. It will be interesting to see how God builds the relationship between me and not only the young lady, but her family as well.

While I was sitting in the waiting room at the prison all I could do was pray; pray for the children, pray for the grandchild, and pray for the mother in prison. It was definitely one of those surreal moments; I am expecting more and more of these moments to rise up during my time here in the Quip. The crazy thing about all of this, is that I have a sense of peace over this family. I feel that even though they may not know God yet, God is starting to soften their hearts in preparation for an encounter that cannot be denied. Though I am sure it will be a process, I am looking forward to seeing what God does in the heart of this family.

Let me just remind everyone that God is in the business of redeeming His people. His number one desire is to draw people to Him. Though some people may take a different road than others in coming into a relationship with Christ, He invites us to come as we are . . . whether that be a crack addict, a prostitute, a lover of money, a house wife, a businessman, one of high economic status, one of low economic status, a heterosexual, a homosexual, an adult, or a child. Christ yearns to love us just as we are. He is madly in love with us, and in this I find true peace.

Love deeply.

"Social Prison"

2009-11-22T06:44:00.000-08:00

"Social prison" is the term that has been used in describing Aliquippa, by one of the board members of Aliquippa Impact. Here in the Quip it is almost as if the world is against individuals. In a community which has been overwhelmed by addiction, violence, homelessness, broken families, and poverty, I can see from an outsiders perspective how men, women, and children may lose hope in the future. As we prayer walk throughout the streets, make home visits, and interact with others, you can look into the eyes of people and see the hurt and pain that dwells deep within their soul.

Wherein lies the question; How do we help? How do we share the love of Christ to people who have lost complete hope, due to the environment in which they grew up in? How do we help someone understand that Jesus loves them so much incredibly more than the love they feel for the crack addiction they have? How do we get someone to grasp the fact that God, our Heavenly Father, will never leave them nor forsake them as their earthly father has done? How do we get someone to understand that the family atmosphere and the adrenaline high from joining and living a gang lifestyle is nothing compared to the high you will receive eternally when you come into a relationship with Christ?

Here's the answer. We can't, but God can. As I have stated before in my blog, ministry has taken on a whole new face here in the Quip. A minute by minute reliance on God is a must. Prayer is priority. It is fascinating to see what role we play in the advancement of the Kingdom by prayer alone. So we go forth, sitting at the foot of the cross, wiping Jesus' feet with our tears, praying for God to make Himself more and more attractive to the people of Aliquippa. We pray for miracles. We pray for transformations. We pray that God will do things that we could never in our right minds think that He can do . . . And then we TRUST.

Love deeply.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U79YOKje2zU -- This message will change your life and challenge you in your prayer life. I have watched it over and over again.

Community

2009-11-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

God show me what community really is in your eyes? This has been my prayer for a long time now. I have always heard people's definition of what community is, but quite honestly I want to hear, see, and experience what real community is through the eyes of our Lord. As I look back on the last couple years of my life there are certain experiences which God revealed to me as true community. From having a Thanksgiving dinner with our homeless homies downtown, to taking care of each other as my family does, to our neighbors this past summer cooking meals for us, to people crying out for me in prayer, to meeting the needs of others as in a beautiful collision of friends and Gwinnett Estates back in the ATL; these are just a few to say the least.

I knew coming to the Quip I would be right in the middle of the vision God sees as community. I am reminded of this daily here in the Quip, but last night I couldn't help but thank God for the "community" He has surrounded me with. Every Sunday night our group has a prayer meeting for the city of Aliquippa. We eat together, we laugh together, we pray together, we cry together, we repent of our sins together; all without judgement. It is during these Sunday night prayer meetings where I see God's vision of community come to pass. I am learning more and more about the power behind this word, "community." I am thankful. I am very thankful for God to answering my prayers consistently. So with that being said, just wanted to give a shout out to my community here that has my back! Love you guys and am so thankful for you!

Love Deeply!

"You Laugh and Share Stories with the Thief and the Whore"

2009-11-09T19:19:00.000-08:00

"I'm a crack addict and a whore, and I hate my life." These words came from my friend Angela's mouth today. Last night at our prayer meeting we cried out for Angela for a good bit of time. Identity, release of bondage, redemption, were a few of the words that continued to come up. I went to bed last night broken, for I spent time with the Lord throughout the day just crying; crying out for Angela and for others. And again, we interceded for her at the meeting as well.

This morning I woke up and went to my car. As I glanced to the left I saw Angela. I was headed to the post office, so I said a quick prayer; "God if you want me to speak to her, then keep her on that corner." As I drove back quite honestly I was a little hesitant to see what the Lord was going to do. Before I knew it Angela was crossing right in front of my car. I yelled out the window to her. She came right up to my window, extremely frustrated. "I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, and I have no money, please give me five dollars." I could tell the desperation in her voice. I tried to calm her down. "Please, she begged." In my experience with people off the street, I have never given money to an individual. I felt this situation called for a different action. "Just give me a ride to my "house." I finally got Angela to calm down while praying under my breath for her as we spoke. "Angela, Jesus loves you, I continued to say over and over again." Angela at this point really opened up to me. She spoke about different things. "Angela God has a plan for you." She said I was a "really nice person, because I always spoke to her."

Right before I dropped her off, I asked her, "Angela I saw you on the corner the last two nights, is everything ok?" As I said before, she went on to say, "no, I'm a crack addict and I'm a whore, and I hate my life." I told Angela I was praying for her, I told her she's more valuable than being a whore. She closed the door.

A couple hours later, while walking down the street, I saw Angela get into a car with a guy by her corner.

Later in the evening I saw Angela again standing on the corner. I couldn't resist going and talking to her. My friend Joey and I walked over to talk to Angela. I said, "Angela do you want help with your crack addiction and your prostitution?" To make a long story short, she basically said "yes." She said "yes." I continued to reiterate to her that God is bigger than the addiction, He is bigger than the prostitution. I told her I pray that she finds her identity and hope in Christ; and that I would help her. "Angela, I'm not going to pressure you with this crack stuff." She said, "Yes, you need to, because I have a problem, and I like crack."

Six months ago I did not know Angela. It has been a tough pursuit in getting Angela to talk to me. I feel the trust has been built. Now, I find myself at the foot of the cross crying out for her. I am trusting for God to orchestrate a miracle; because that is what it is, a miracle. Our God has the power to do just that. So I come to you right now, asking that you join me in praying for Angela and her life.

. . . Trusting in our Lord to transform the life of a crack addict, whore; who will soon find her identity as a child of the Most High God.

Love Deeply.

"Give and Take"

2009-11-05T18:55:00.001-08:00

So, this week I have learned about the phrase "give and take." First of all, I do want to warn you that this is one of those blogs that you just might not like; not like, in the sense that you may not agree with me, your convictions may be different from mine, or you just may be challenged. I came across two situations this week that really taught me a lot; one of which I will explain, one of which I will not. I bought my first pack of cigarettes this week; before you freak out on me, I did not buy them to smoke, I bought them to distribute . . . to distribute, WHEN ASKED, in order to advance the Kingdom that is. Give & Take, let me explain.

Those of you who kept up with my blog this past summer know about a woman named Angela. She was very hard toward me at the beginning of the summer, and softened up toward the end. I have prayed for her since the day I first came across her. My friend Steve and I were prayer walking on Tuesday. We prayed that God would cross our paths with Anglea again. Wednesday I saw her. We talked, I told her "Jesus loves you" as I always have, and that I was praying for her. She seemed humbled, but in a hurry to get away as she always has as well. Before she leaves me, it never fails that she asks me for either a quarter or a cigarette. I don't ever carry money on me here walking the streets and I don't have cigarettes; until now. A thought came to me, as it has before chilling with the homeless in downtown ATL . . . if I carried cigarettes around and someone asked me for one, it would give me a chance to talk to them. Give & Take. You want a cigarette, sure, but you have to sit and chill with me.

I found myself praying over the box of cigarettes this morning. I truly believe God will open up conversations with people on the streets that will eventually lead to Him. I am confident of this. What I am learning here in the Quip very quickly is that ministry takes on a whole different face, if you will. A face that whether you like it or not will lead to the advancement of the Kingdom in some way, shape, or form. Pray for Angela. Pray for the people I will get to talk to over a cigarette. Pray for transformation in the people of Aliquippa! Praise Him!

Love deeply.

Made It Safe and Sound

2009-11-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

So picture this: I'm chillin in my kitchen typing this with my favorite baggy blue sweats that I cannot live without and everyone tries to steal, a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie, and a beanie . . . oh yea, and my space heater running up in my room getting it nice and toasty for me; ha, and it hasn't even gotten cold yet. But really though, atleast I can find humor in it right!?! So, as the title says, I obviously made it safe and sound with the parents. My Mom and I had fun nagging my Dad the whole way here. We got to the Quip Friday morningish and started moving in and hanging pics, and doing all the stuff you do when you move in somewhere. Well, 3 days later I'm all moved in and it looks like a house a must say. My parents were such a huuuge help with everything; I could not have done it without them. (Shout out). Thanks again Mom and Dad if you are reading this.

After 2 or 3 hours full of Frogger (yup, I said Frogger) with the crew last night I got to chill with my two little sisters Tanaya and Tiona (ok, they're not too little, they could maybe beat me up - pssyyyccchhh), along with crazy fool Joey this afternoon. Well. maybe Joey slept most of the time; but it was a blast. Then, went to prayer meeting tonight. All I can say is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I know God is going to stretch me here as I have said before in ways in which I cannot imagine; many challenges, pain, and difficult times ahead, but more importantly much rejoicing over the advancement of the Kingdom of Heaven than anything else. Basically, I'm confessing that I will take the hard times without a doubt to see individuals come face to face with our Lord and His beauty.

Love deeply.

Quip, It's Time

2009-10-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

Well folks, tomorrow is the day. I'll be leaving early in the morning and arriving in the Quip sometime Friday. The reality of moving is here. The journey of this next step with Christ is beginning. Though I know I will be stretched in more ways than I can probably imagine, I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do. Thank you so very for joining me in this invitation to serve the Lord. I cannot begin to thank you enough for your prayers. Please continue to pray for me daily. I will update specifics on prayer requests when I get up there. Thank you once again.

Love deeply.

5-Points, It's Where It's At!

2009-10-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

My beautiful friend Heather and I headed to downtown ATL yesterday in hopes of hooking up with our homeless friends. I wanted to say bye to the group of guys I had built relationships with over the last couple of years. We were expecting to see one of them, Copper, but we ended up seeing Malik as well. Malik has one of the most genuine and beautiful hearts on the face of this planet. He is sweetness to my soul. I believe God had us go downtown just for him, and in turn me as well. I see Jesus through Malik's eyes. There is just something about Malik that screams, yet whispers, "Christ's love." He calls me his sister. I call him my brother. It is amazing to see how two completely different people, from two completely different backgrounds can bond in such a way that cannot be broken. Even though Heather and I didn't see everybody I would have wanted to see, we saw exactly who we were supposed to see. I will always cherish the bond I have with my guys downtown. They have taught me so very much about what is really important, slowing down life, genuineness, true relationships, and most importantly loving people for what their soul reflects. I will miss them tremendously.

I have been reading through 1 Peter and have been so encouraged by the truth and richness of God's words through Peter. I encourage you to read it or revisit it if you get a chance. I am so thankful for the Lord meeting me exactly where I am right now. It is such a peaceful feeling knowing that our God is so big He can meet all the needs of this world, yet He is so small that He will sit right beside us and meet us exactly where we want Him to. In this season of prayer and preparation He is and has continued to do just that. I am so thankful for this and so thankful for Him. 6 days and counting. Please continue to pray for me as I seek out the Lord in this journey. Love deeply.

SNOW ALREADY . . . PSSSHHHHHH

2009-10-15T15:57:00.000-07:00

Two weeks from today I will be packed in the front seat of a U-Haul with my Dad and Mom headed up to The Quip. Supposedly, it is going to snow there this weekend! My friends up in Aliquippa have decided to make a point of telling me how freezing cold it is and when it is snowing or going to snow! They are so encouraging to a girl from the dirty South who sees snow once every 5 years or something. :) What am I getting myself into?!?! Ha, with all that being said I have started hoarding snow apparel and cold weather apparel. If you ever come up and visit me, I might not answer your phone call, but you will be able to find me sitting face to face with a space heater on HIGH! The other night at my support party, my beautiful friend Melinda was praying for me. Her exact words to start off the prayer were, "Lord, we love you and we pray that in the -20 degree weather you will give Steph peace." MELINDA AND EVERYONE ELSE: LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT IF IT IS -20 DEGREES MY BUTT WILL BE BACK HERE IN THE DIRTY SOUTH IN A QUICK, AND I MEAN QUICK SECOND!!!!!!! :)

How am I feeling 2 weeks out? I can't really grasp my emotions right now. It seems as though I am still running around trying to get little things done, or I am just pushing my feelings to the back burner. I don't know which it actually is. However, I am excited! I am ready to enter into this new chapter that the Lord has scripted over my life. I was encouraged the other night at the support party; it made this whole thing official. Since then, I have been able to breathe better. Fresh new air. Jesus; that's what He is to me, fresh new air.

What do I have to do to get ready? Everything is pretty much packed. I just plan on enjoying these last 2 weeks with the fam. You know the usual, getting "clawed" by Bubba, getting screamed at by Blakey. You gotta love this stuff :)

I ask that you begin praying for transition to the Quip and transition for my family as well. I know it will be hard on both sides, but God is good and He will give us peace. Please also pray for beginning thoughts and discernments on exactly which areas the Lord would have me focus on; this will be a process. That's it for now though. Thank you again for all your prayers. I covet them. I love ya'll and appreciate all the support. Love deeply.

As Little Children Do . . .

2009-10-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Last Spring my family and I were enjoying a hot Georgia day in the front yard of my parents house. My sister had just bought an Elmo sprinkler for my nephews, Alex and Blake. Basically, you attach the hose to a flat, plastic circular tarp that has Elmo staring up at you. The water sprays out of the sides up into the air. Alex, the oldest of the two of course loved it. He had no fear. He would run from one side to the other through the water, laughing hysterically and screaming at the top of his lungs. Blake on the other hand was fearful, hesitant. He would run up to the outside of the water, stop, scream out of fear, and run back where he came from with tears in his eyes. He would try over and over again. Everyone was encouraging Blake, yet there was still the same outcome. Again, he would run up to the outside of the water, stop, scream out of fear, and run back where he came from with tears in his eyes. Finally, Paul, his dad, went up to Blake reached out his hand and said, "come on Blake, I'll go with you." With lightened up eyes and a huge smile on his face, Blake said yes to the invitation and began running by his father's side. As they got closer to the sprinkler Blake continued on, but closed his eyes while running through the sprinkler. After he realized what he had done, Blake paused, looked up and let out a huge laugh, and said, "again Daddy."

So it is with me, taking a lesson from my nephew; saying yes to the invitation, taking my Father's hand, closing my eyes, and trusting that my Lord will guide me and direct me to the end. Oh how beautiful our God is!

I apologize for not being on point with this blog the last two weeks. I have been extremely busy getting support letters together, meeting with people, making phone calls, and beginning the overall process of heading to the Quip. I would ask that you please and always keep me in your prayers. I covet them! It is official, I will be leaving the weekend of October 30. The Lord has blessed me with the exact place I want to stay, which will be ready for that weekend. Until then, I have plenty to do, but am resting in the presence of our beautiful God! If you are reading this blog and in any way want to support me in joining Him, please contact me. I thank you all so much ahead of time for all you are doing and will continue to do on this journey. Love deeply.

Joining Him . . .

2009-09-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

He hears the cries of His children, and He answers. As you know I went back to the Quip this past weekend. The surprise was a success, great time and fellowship with friends was had, and conversations that were prayed over, only by God's grace also took place. I told you I would update when I got back, so here it is: I'll be headed to the Quip long term no later than Nov. 1.

There are some pretty heavy things that happened this weekend that I feel like I need to share. I have been praying over this trip hours upon hours and I also know others were praying for me as well. It is by no mistake that I saw the people I needed to see and talked to the people I needed to talk to. My prayer throughout this has been, "Lord speak to me." Simple, but so powerful. This weekend I felt as though He spoke once again; through the eyes of our 78 year old neighbors from the summer, through a 7th grader who asked me to be her mentor, through oh so innocent yet extremely tough questions asked to me about the love of God (I will get into this in a second), through a young girl which I built a relationship with over the summer who ran up to me with her arms wide open for a hug, through hearing a personal testimony of a former drug dealer, through seeing Angela walk the streets, through having that gut wrenching feeling of leaving, and through looking into the eyes of individuals who are so loved by God, but don't have a relationship with Him YET. As I said, He has spoken. There is much to start thinking about and working out, but my number one focus is continual prayer for preparation. I will explain more of this in a later blog.

I was faced with some really heartbreaking questions in a conversation had while still in the Quip, concerning the love of God. Does God really love gay people? Does God love people who hate black people? To be quite honest with you in relying on the Holy Spirit to speak through me I don't really recall in detail how I answered those questions. I can say the first question was a lot easier to answer than the second question even though the answers are the same; Yes. I have had this awful feeling of sickness in my stomach since then. Why? Because I feel as though God's love will never be fully understood by believers and unbelievers alike. I'm just trying to be real here. I know as believers we have encountered the love of Christ, but still don't come close to grasping the love of the Father. I can't imagine what is going through the heads of those who do not have a relationship with Christ yet. It hurts. It hurts that they don't know the Love. As I personally continue to seek after the love of Christ and the characteristics of His love, I ask that you join me in prayer for those who have never encountered this beautiful gift. Love deeply.

More to come, concerning details of the Quip.

The Weekend To Come . . .

2009-09-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

I know last Monday I said I was going to blog at the end of last weekend to share some updates, but I didn't. Owell, that's the life of a blogger right? Keeping you on your toes since I know more than 1,000,000 people are reading this right?!? Just playing. This weekend however, oh shoot I just realized something. Ok, for the next part of this blog I am going to kind of have to beat around the bush, because there are some surprises in store for this weekend, and by all means I'm not about to ruin that in a freakin blog. So lets see ... this weekend I am going to a specific part of the country to visit long lost friends :), surprise some folks, and talk about future plans in ministry. Now that I started this blog, I kind of wish I hadn't because this is probably really annoying to read. Sorry.

Anyways, I am really excited about the weekend. I have been in continuous prayer and communion with God about this weekend and my future. As I said last week, I am feeling more and more led in a specific direction. I have learned and been convicted a lot lately that this decision is not impacted by the voice of others and their opinions, but it is an utmost call of God on my life. His voice; that is the only One that matters. So I go into this weekend praying for discernment and wisdom in hearing the voice of our Lord in my life. God has revealed Himself to me through reading Exodus and the life of Moses. One thing about our God if you do not know is that He is sovereign in His timing. This I am so thankful for.

I would ask all who are reading this to please be in prayer for me and the upcoming weekend. As I said I am praying for wisdom and discernment. I am also praying for intentional conversations that need to be had with people I have built relationships with in the past. This will only be done through His guidance and direction. Thank you ahead of time for praying for me. I know God will reveal Himself to me in a way in which cannot be denied. I will keep everyone updated in the weeks to come obviously. Hope all is well. Love deeply.

Back from AZ

2009-09-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well, made it back from AZ late Sunday night. It was a blast and a much needed just chill trip! God definitely revealed Himself to me, as well as everyone else I think. This is going to be really short, because quite honestly I'm just not in the mood to type or talk much. I have a fever blister on the side of my mouth that is turning into the Grand Canyon and I didn't get much sleep last night. However, as I said God spoke in a very clear way to me this trip and I am looking forward to blogging about it later in the week. Just wanted to give everyone a shout out though so you wouldn't think I forgot about this little blog. Looking forward to a pretty chill week with the fam! Hope all is well for everyone out there. Love deeply. 1Peter 4:8

"Just One Touch of Your Favor Is So Much Greater"

2009-08-31T14:11:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my last blog, I'm back. Not meaning back in the ATL. But back, as in where I am supposed to be in the Word and where I am supposed to be in my prayer walk. It is such a peaceful feeling when you are right with God, when you dwell in the presence of the Almighty. This past week was good. I am finding the importance of spending time with family and friends, because quite honestly I don't know how long I will be here. It was a great time on Saturday playing on the slip and slide for Alex's birthday. I mean I think when I am 80, I will still want to scoot down a slip and slide for my birthday - those things just don't get old! I love my family and I am so very blessed to have their love and support day in and day out.

Tomorrow I will be going to see one of my best friends in AZ. KJ, shout out! Even though it will not be a Tres Leches reunion :( I cannot wait for the prayer time, meaningful conversation, and encouragement. I think this next week will be a telling week for all involved. I know God is going to speak truth to us and through us. There are no words to explain how it feels when you get together with friends and your spirit just flows. Friends that understand each others hearts without saying a word. These are the friends you need to keep by your side. Friends that will last a lifetime.

And of course, what is the progress with where I am? One of my main prayers is for God to speak through people to me. I truly believe in this, for God has used people in the past that have led to humongous decisions for me. There have been two occasions that I truly believe God was speaking through people to me in the season that I am in right now. Praise Him for that. As of right now I feel that God definitely is pulling me in the direction of the Quip. I have found that my prayers have gone from a full out "God guide me and direct me," to "Lord, prepare me." With this being said, I am not at a 100% go right now. I still need to spend time in prayer. How long will this season last? I have no idea. I am assuming sooner than later. Please continue to pray for me as I seek out where the Lord is calling me, and until then please pray also that I will be submitting to the call of where I am in "the now" . . . that my friends, is to love deeply.

My Sister Is Brilliant!

2009-08-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

Kris: "So people ask me how you are doing, and I say, she doesn't talk much. Read her blog, it says a lot."

This is the most profound statement I have heard in a long time. So true! Thanks Kris. I wish everyone could get it that easily. Though maybe frustrating to others, I find it easier to write out my heart, rather than try and speak it. I'm just not one to talk much on certain things I guess. I know it's all out of great hearts that people want to know how I am doing; I really really appreciate that, TRULY. But I guess if this kind of thing really gets to you, you might need to talk to my Creator, He's the One who did it! HAHAHAHAH! Ya'll are just part of a huge prank between me and JC! Suckas!

Actually this past week has been very hmmm, how do I want to say it; humbling perhaps. This is all in a good way as well. I have been forced back into the Word and crying out prayers through a situation that was just brought across my path early last week. And I praise God for it. He has drawn me close to His heart, very close, and for a while there I didn't feel anywhere near Him. But I'm back and that my friends, is the bottom line. And that alone is reason to rejoice. I've learned once again what it means to be vulnerable to others and to completely have to trust in our Lord. I feel as though if I proclaim that I live, breathe, and talk Jesus, I better start walking Jesus. What does it mean to be real? As believers and the church I really feel as though we struggle with this. We put on our church face and our church attitude and our church front, and we freakin pretend everything is ok. I'm guilty folks. But I'm here to say that Jesus doesn't roll that way. He wants us to be real with one another, transparent, no matter how that may make us look. Our God is sovereign, gracious, and compassionate looking for people who will be real for His Kingdom. I was reminded of that this week. Reminded that if I speak to others about being real, than I better start being real as well. Father, forgive me of those times where I have put on a front to protect myself, rather than being vulnerable and trusting in you.

Alright, where I'm at. (And to you English teachers, not between the a and the t). Shut it. I have been in prayer about my future and will continue to be. I have prayer warriors crying out for me as well. I have no answer for you honestly. I still continue to think about the Quip numerous times throughout the day, every day. My prayers seem to go back to the Quip. Who knows. I am resting in the hands of the Lord, and that's all I can say right now. But the first part of the "song of the summer" definitely sums up my feelings towards the Quip. Yes I know corny but get over it. This song was played over and over again this summer, and I just started really hearing the first part of the song:

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Seems like I'm in a race, but already won first place
I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did

Again, I know crazy, but that spoke to me in a way. Ha. Now I know ya'll are thinking I'm insane! Some of you might be saying, what about Africa. As you all know, Africa is my heart and passion. At the same time, I feel at peace about Africa right now. When I think Quip, I think an urgent need. I think of God calling a specific people group to joining Him in advancing the Kingdom. I think of restoration. I think of our Father's hand resting upon a community in need of a Savior. I think of myself helping bridge that gap. However, I still don't know. I'm still facedown in prayer about it and trusting in Ps. 46:10 and Acts 17:26-27. Amen and Amen. Until next time, love deeply!

Even Now Here's My Heart Lord

2009-08-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

Ahh, deep breath. So, real right? I've been back for a little over a week now, and I don't know what to think. Literally. I either have about 5,000 things going through my head at a time or I just want to sit in front of the television and watch mindless shows. Those of you who know me, know that's not normal. So I'm struggling, but little by little the peace of our Lord is becoming more and more evident to me. I realize that a lot of my struggle deals with just wanting to serve our Savior, and that's not necessarily a bad thing - but I also have to learn to take time to let God restore me. I think I am a lot more worn down physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually than I think I am. Even in saying that, I know I need the peace and grace of God to meet me where I am right now. And I believe He will.

I went to Berkmar today, being a little hesitant to tell you the truth. It was super hard leaving that school, I didn't want to leave the kids! I can't ever put into words the feeling of when God truly teaches you to love others. I think it was during my time at Berkmar where God truly showed me who He was and where I truly fell in love with His children and His people. Praise God for that. It was such a blessing to get smiles and hugs from everyone there today. I pray that God's hand will continue to rest on BMS!

And that's it for now. The end. Love deeply.

Home

2009-08-10T18:10:00.000-07:00

Hmmm. Well I've made it home, barely. I woke up at the airport to "last and final call for fl. 283" - I had to run to my gate. So good to see the family! I got home yesterday at about 11:30. Having pulled an all nighter the night before I slept all afternoon and then ate dinner with the fam at the rents house. Today I slept and fought Facebook trying to upload all my pics. It's done now though.

As following the original idea of this blog, "being real," I don't necessarily know what to think about being home. I OF COURSE love seeing and being around my family, but it was EXTREMELY hard leaving the Quip. In the short time I have been home, I have only been able to think about one thing from the summer and that is this, what do I do with the relationships I have built over the summer? People just started trusting myself and the staff towards the end of the summer. Two of our girls came to faith the last week, and God without a doubt was working on other's hearts as well. Then all of a sudden, it's a goodbye and I don't ever know if I'll see you again. I don't know what to do with that. That's to say the very least heartbreaking to me. There is so, so very much more to process from the summer. I expect to process for a long time coming honestly.

What are you going to do now? (this seems to be the question I am getting from everyone). I made a promise to myself that I would not do or make any decisions for at least a month after I returned home. I knew I would be coming off of a high from the Quip, and did not want to make any decisions off of emotion . . . if that was the case I probably would not have left the Quip to tell you the truth. I can say this, I just want to be in the utmost center of God's will. I know people are praying for me and I find comfort and peace in that.

Love deeply.

Skinny

2009-08-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

Belle Glade, Fl. : Thursday afternoon we were broken up into 2 small groups. We were given $20 and told to pray about how we were to use the $20 if we were to use it at all. Our groups consisted of 2 leaders and 4 of our students. Before I go any further with the story I want to tell you about a guy we met earlier in the day while doing street ministry (you'll understand the connection in a little bit). His name was Skinny. He was a tall slender man, who looked like he hadn't bathed in a few weeks. There was dirt built up in his fingernails, and his clothes were filthy dirty. His hair probably had not been washed in a long, long time. We talked with Skinny, handed him some water, and asked in which way we could pray for him. He definitely loved the idea of us praying for him, but did not want us to do it right then. We obliged and parted ways. Back to the afternoon. Our small group started praying by praise, thanking God for who He is. After that, we started praying for the city of Belle Glade. Following the prayer time we would discuss how we felt that God was leading us. Through our prayer/discussion/prayer/discussion we came to very specific areas where we as a small group felt that God was leading us: a group of run down apartment buildings, males in the community, hygiene products. This led us to one last time of prayer. At the end of the prayer time, God laid on our hearts the man we had met earlier on the streets, Skinny. This was in line with everything else we felt God speaking to us. He was a male, we met him in the same area of the apartment buildings, and he needed hygiene products.

We proceeded to the store to buy a hygiene gift bag for Skinny. When we left the store, we were going off of faith that we would actually see this man again. We looked at the gas station, we spoke to people on the street, we talked to more people on the street, we drove around asking people; nobody had seemed to know this so called man named Skinny. Our team was getting frustrated and the doubt was starting to creep in. We rode up on the chess courtyard where a group of Haitian men were playing. We asked if they knew a man named Skinny. In their language they spoke back and forth and back and forth, and then all at once they started pointing in the same direction of the gas station. There were apt. buildings across from the gas station where they said he lived; which would make since of why he was hanging outside the gas station. We drove to the apt. building and asked a group of people if Skinny lived there; they said yes. Our team instantly became excited. An old lady was outside of the apt. where Skinny supposedly lived. After talking to her, she let us go inside. What happened next, I will never forget in my walk with Christ:

I was the first one in and noticed there was absolutely no furniture in the apt. I was getting confused. The lady led us into the back room where a man laid motionless on a hospital bed. He was crippled and was not able to hardly move a limb. When trying to speak, we could not understand the man. What we soon figured out though is that this man's name was indeed Skinny and he was in dire need of prayer, along with, believe it or not a hygiene kit. We gathered around Skinny and joined in prayer for his healing and his health in general. I started off the prayer, or rather I tried, gathering my thoughts and emotions together which soon led to tears rolling down my face. All of our kids prayed for this man, along with Joel our leader. After praying we shared the gospel with Skinny and his wife. Though English was not their native language it was evident that this man was hearing every word spoken. Skinny said he believed in Christ and knew that He died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins and to provide us with eternal life. He had heard the truth and believed the truth.

I am amazed that God laid on our hearts through prayer a thin, frail man standing outside of a gas station whose name happened to be Skinny to lead us to the foot of a man in a hospital bed needing the touch of a Savior. Not to mention, his name was also Skinny. Earlier in the day I found myself having thoughts of going and encouraging people in the hospital close to where we were staying. God reminded me of this after I was sitting alone with Him trying to process what had just happened. Our prayer for our kids all week had been, "Holy Spirit make yourself real to our kids, encounter our kids, as well as us." What I know is this, when our small group walked out of the apartment building humbled and numb to our souls, God revealed Himself to our kids in a more than real way. He encountered us and wanted us to join His Holy Spirit in a room filled with the presence of our Savior. Our kids, along with myself and our other leader saw Christ face to face in those moments we were there. Our God heard our cries. He is faithful to his people. I am completely humbled to think that God wanted us (a group of people from Aliquippa, PA) to join Him in that room with Skinny. I praise Him for His call to care for His people. A God that is living, a God that is compassionate, a God that is loving, a God that will sit with a man on his hospital bed. We serve a God who is worthy of praise! Amen and amen!

Tanaya, Tiona, and Some Crazy A Mall Ball

2009-07-23T18:46:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe I have a little over 2 weeks until I head home. I am at open mic night right now, enjoying some good amateur singers and some awesome fellowship. Our days here are dwindling down and I have to say my heart has been hurting a good bit about that lately. It seems as though people and kids around the community are just now starting to trust us. Which obviously is a little disheartening, considering we are leaving shortly. I don't really know how to deal with that. The staff as a whole has been prayerfully believing in God that He would break down the walls of individuals in this community. He has answered those cries. The question is, what do we do with this now; the broken down walls and the softened hearts are hard to leave at this point. These are just initial thoughts to a healing/debriefing time I will end up going through.

Tonight I probably had the most fun I have had since I've been here. We took two of the girls (Tanaya and Tiona, twins, 16) who we work with, out to what we thought would be bowling and dinner. Bowling alley was closed, go figure. We ended up going to the mall and playing in the arcades for about an hour. You will be glad to know that I dominated in all of the games :) By the time we left I think all of our stomachs were hurting because we laughed so much. However, the best was yet to come. We won a couple of bouncy balls in the arcade. In this moment, the now famous game of Mall Ball was created. 2 ways to play. Here are the rules. First part, throw the bouncy ball as high as you can in the middle of the mall, first person to have possession of the ball gets a point. Needless to say, we were dodging people, jumping over benches, and having people duck in the process. IT WAS AMAZING. I'm surprised we didn't get kicked out. Really. (This is an awesome way to set a good example for those who your are building relationships with :). Second part of the game, get in an enclosed area of the mall where an entrance is. We were surrounded by 4 walls (there is the initial doors to enter the mall, and then about 10 yards away, the second set of doors). One person throws the ball as hard as they can having the ball bounce around the 4 walls like a pin ball machine; whoever gets posses ion of the ball first wins. Everything is fair game. Elbows thrown and people laying on the ground - its amazing. Again, this really was one of the most fun games I have ever invented/played. And I have video to prove it! Which is even funnier because those who decided to watch us probably thoughts we were psychos considering they couldn't see the bouncy ball, just 3 people running back and forth, jumping in an enclosed area. INSANE! My stomach hurts today from laughing so hard!!!

Last thing, we leave for Florida tomorrow at 7am. We will come back on Aug. 3. Please keep us in your prayers as our group will be ministering to the people of Belle Glade throughout the week. Even though the drive will be a little challenging for this A.D.D. kat, I am looking forward to the trip and super stoked to see some familiar faces :) :) :) you know who you are. Alright, I'm headed out with that. Again, please keep our Fl. mission trip team, along with the remaining staff members in the Quip in your prayers. Until next time, which will be in over a week, love deeply.

BREAKTHROUGH, ANGELA

2009-07-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

So I almost cannot wait to write the rest of this blog, but I just wanted to let you know I am half awake typing this as well. We had a lock-in with our kids at the church last night. It consisted of movie time in the chapel, dance party in the chapel, food, and a lot of hide and go seek! All and all though, it was a pretty good time.

Ok, for the meat of this blog. This morning when I was walking back from the lock-in I saw Angela. Those of you who are keeping up with the blogs, you know I have asked for much prayer for Angela. If you haven't, here is a quick summary: always on the streets/corners, very uneasy spirit about her, wears same clothes over and over again - my complete assumption on this situation is that she is homeless, a prostitute, and an addict of some kind. Leading up to this week her interactions with me have been very hardening; no eye contact, very frustrated with me, and almost an attitude of why the hell are you talking to me. This of course has led myself along with others praying for her to pray even harder. The main prayers for her have been for a softened heart, salvation, and her finding her true identity. I saw her earlier in the week, which was the first time in a while. Her spirit was still a little standoffish (i just made that word up). I felt like I had hit a wall with her, not knowing really what else to talk to her about and ask her in our 2 minute convos we usually have. I walked away saying I just need to be bold with her. God put it on my heart that I really have nothing to lose.

A couple days later I saw here again, we had a normal 1-2 minute convo and then I started walking away. God stopped me in my tracks and reminded me of what He had laid on my heart. I turned around and said Angela, "I want you to know that we are still praying for you, and that Jesus really does love you." Her reply was simply, "thank you." We walked our separate ways. Which brings me to this morning. As I was rounding the corner heading home, I saw Angela in the distance. "Holy Spirit lead me," I said. She waved at me first before I made any comment to her. This alone is a breakthrough my friends. She usually sprints the other way, which is funny to me. We carried on the most beautiful 2 minute conversation we have ever had. I don't know if this is the result of her seeming sober/not trippin off of anything or what, but it was such an encouragement to me that God is softening her heart. What came next has pretty much left me numb up until this point of the day. Before I walked off, she said to me, "I am sorry for all the previous times, I really am." That is all she needed to say, actually she didn't even need to say that. I know God has grabbed a hold of Angela's heart. He is molding it and shaping it and softening it, to eventually take in the gospel. Angela agreed to meet up with me this upcoming week, so I will be interested to see if this happens. No I am not being pessimistic, I just know some of the reality of street life. I am asking you to join me in prayer for the crossing of paths this week with Angela. That God would truly pierce her heart in remembering that we are going to meet up and of course that if it is God's will He will give me that opened door to present the gospel. Please keep me in prayer as well regarding this specific situation. Matthew 10 says, "do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the spirit of your Father speaking through you."

So a HUGE praise God for His faithfulness to His children. Amen. This week coming up will be extremely busy. We have some specific hang out times with individuals we have built relationships with throughout the summer, on top of the regular schedule. Also, we will be in preparation for heading to Florida for our mission trip with the kids. The plane ride didn't come through, so I expect ya'll all to start fasting and praying for me now thinking about driving 22 hours in a van with middle school kids! hahahahah - Hope all is well for everyone, I can't believe I only have 3 more weeks left here. Love deeply.

Randomness and a Little Shaking Up the Kingdom

2009-07-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

As I said in my previous blog, we took some kids to Sandcastle this past weekend. (a water park here in Pitt) I will say this, to all you Texas peeps out there Sandcastle has nothing on Splashtown!!! We had a blast though! It was so good to just chill and have fun with the kids instead of disciplining and such. We have a busy week coming up, so I wanted to make sure I got at least one blog in. We of course have camp throughout the week, but we also have a lot of preparation for our upcoming camping trip this weekend, along with our Mission Trip to Florida next weekend. The funeral for our staff member's cousin is on Thursday, so we will be attending that as well.

With all that being said I just want to throw a BIG PRAISE up for something that happened last week. For those of you who know Drea, she started building a relationship with one of the kids here a couple years back. Last Friday while on a field trip this particular girl was acting out of the ordinary behavior wise. To make a long story short, Andrea had to sit with her in timeout during a field trip. Timeouts can go really good or really bad; this is a prime opportunity to get to know kids on a one on one basis and really pour into them. Through Caliente starting off the conversation with, "my uncle is with God," Drea was able to share the gospel with this child. A relationship between Caliente and our Savior was made. As I stated last blog, there is so much bondage, sin, oppression, and addiction in this city; but make no mistake about it Jesus Christ has claimed victory over Aliquippa! He will continue to reach down His hand and restore individuals one by one. Without a doubt, Jesus is hearing the cries of His children for the redemption of His people. Praise Him.

That is all for now. More later. Love deeply.

Go Read Psalm 100!

2009-07-11T06:11:00.001-07:00

What up from the Quip! I have to type fast! We are leaving to go to Sandcastle (a water park) with seven of our kids here in a little bit. Wow, it's going to be a long day, but a blast! This past week was pretty interesting. First, my dear friend Andrea (from the north) came with two of her friends to help serve this past week. They were such a help with some things that needed to be done with day camp. It was so good getting to see her and spend time with them. Ya'll are awesome if you are reading this; if you're not reading this - then you're not awesome - blahaha! I must say though the most memorable moment of the week with them and a couple other innocent peeps was Wednesday night ..... a reservoir, no one around, and perhaps some swimming. Yes, swimming - we'll leave it at that!

This week however has brought some piercing situations for us here. Four kids were kicked off of our mission trip for certain reasons. This is a huge deal, trust me on this. I can't go into detail, because of the time. Also, a couple of days ago there was a shooting here in the Quip that took a life of one of our staff member' relatives. This was the 2nd cousin who was shot and killed in the last month. He was shot three times, one in the head. Our staff member grew up and lives here in Aliquippa. It has been an incredibly hard couple of days obviously for her and the community as well. From what I understand it was gang related. We as a staff are planning to take a day off next week to attend the funeral and support Chrystn. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. There is a lot of hurt right now in this community; the only way to combat this is through prayer.

Make no mistake about it that God is working here and His presence is being felt more now than ever through the streets of the Quip. People are noticing and seeking after who this God is. Praise Him. We are at a point now in the summer where hearts are being softened toward us and people are understanding that we are here to help, care for, and serve. This obviously gives us opportunity to share the gospel and speak truth to the beautiful people in this city. God has really spoken loudly to me this last week of how precious my relationship with Him is; how no one can take that away from me, how He is my Constant in my life. Psalm 100 says, "enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise." Amen and amen.

Dang, I have to go now. Sorry. I, once again am so thankful for each of you. Please know that I think about ya'll often throughout the days here. My return date is August 9. It will be very bitter, sweet. Please continue to lift myself, along with our staff up in prayer. We need it! Love deeply!

Philly, NYC and New Jersey in 48 Hours

2009-07-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

I needed a breath of fresh air and I got it this weekend. Two of my crazy friends (Drea & Joey)and I decided Friday night at 7:30 (when we were supposed to be planning a camping trip for one night) to take a spontaneous road trip to all these cities above. Well, actually our destination was Philly, and then while we were in Philly we said, “well we might as well go to NYC” . . . and don’t ask how we got to explore New Jersey. Anyways, we stayed with my Grandma and Aunt Friday night and with Drea’s relatives Saturday night. We arrived at both places at around 3:00am in each city. We definitely extended our weekend to the utmost! It was so good to see family and hang out for a little bit! My Philly fam, if you’re reading this I love ya’ll and thank you so much again! We hung out in Philly Saturday. Ate cheese steaks, pretzels, ice cream, oh and explored the history of our forefathers. I know you are laughing at me now. We decided to also hit up the Simple Way, founded by Shane Claiborne. If you have read Irresistible Revolution – you know who and what this is. It was such an encouragement to hang out there even though we never talked to anyone. Off to NYC after that.

NYC was great. We had a little detour the night before, so we couldn’t spend as much time there as we originally wanted. It was AMAZING THOUGH. When we stepped foot on the streets of NYC it was worth it all! We had some pizza, bought some stuff and just really chilled there. A fresh of breath air indeed.

I think we all learned something on this trip, which made it all better. Though extremely hard, I love the feeling of being stripped of everything and having to rely completely and wholeheartedly on God. We had to do this. And it was great. We laughed and we loved. I am so thankful for my friends not only here, but everywhere. I am thankful that I got to spend a weekend with Drea and Joey. It was a trip to remember and I would do it all over again in a second. I think we learned a little about ourselves as well as each other. Joey, thank you again for allowing yourself to pour out the grace and love of the Father to others that He has poured out on you. Drea, thank you for being genuine and true to yourself, but most importantly thank you for allowing yourself to be used by the Lord in the ways that you do. Words cannot begin to express how genuinely thankful I am for having the opportunity to serve beside each of you this summer.

So that’s that. 48 hours of fun! Well, maybe a little frustration too, but SO WELL WORTH IT. Please continue to lift us up in prayer. I love ya’ll deeply!

Thoughts & Updates

2009-07-01T15:33:00.001-07:00

Hey folks - hope this blog finds all of you doing well. Some updates for you. We finished Leadership Camp last Friday. I miss our kids already. We are now in the transition process of beginning Green Team. This camp is actually run by another non-profit organization. Though things have slowed down tremendously, this camp brings its own challenges as well. Myself and another AI staff member are there to basically help run things. We are struggling with keeping ourselves involved. And trust me on this - we try very hard. The bottom line is it's another program so they have their own expectations/rules/discipline procedures and it just doesn't quite measure up to what we are used to doing. The people we are under are very nice. We are just going to have to be very creative in how we interact with the kids and how we bring the Gospel to them.

Many of you have called and commented on my last post. Thank you for your support and prayers with this. There has been much prayer and faith involved in bringing back peace in my heart. Our God is a sovereign God and we as a staff here at AI have no choice but to trust Him and be in communion with Him on a minute to minute basis; or quite honestly if you don't the enemy will attack. I am so thankful that our Tuesday mornings will now consist of corporate worship and prayer together. We missed that when we were in LC. Yesterday we spent time in deep prayer lifting up specific individuals; praying over them and their chains of bondage. I have learned to be fully and completely dependent on the Lord through prayer here. In a place like this, you are stripped of everything. The phrase 'God Is Your Strength' is brought to a whole new level. Today I was very encouraged in taking a house visit to one of our kids. We went to drop off a permission slip. By the time we left, we were served a meal, had such an amazing conversation, prayed, and invited back. Trips like these to houses are very, very few and far between. As I said, I was very encouraged by the visit and warmth/hospitality the Swanson family showed us.

I want to share with you about a lady, in hopes of you being facedown in prayer for her and her salvation. Her name is Angela. The first week I was here I always saw her walking the streets and standing on corners. Every time I saw her I got a very strong uneasy, unpeaceful spirit about her. God did and has continued to put such a burden on my heart for her. I cannot go a day without thinking about Angela. I began praying for her about the 2-3 week we were here - that God would place her in my path throughout the day. He has. There have been a couple of times where I have tried to talk to her and she will say hi and walk off. Other times she will ask for a dollar, and walk off with a very agitated and frustrated attitude because I won't give it to her. Each time I have prayed for her the words "self esteem, identity, salvation, hope" keep burning inside of me. If I was to guess, Angela is a prostitute who is heavily addicted to some sort of substance. She needs help, she needs Jesus. Please join with me in praying for Angela. Specifics: that God would continue to cross our paths on a daily basis, for her to soften her heart to me, that the Holy Spirit would speak through me, and most importantly that God would open a door for me to share the Gospel with her. I am trusting in God for this to happen before the summer is up.

As we are at the half way point of the summer I have mixed feelings. It's almost as if it has gone so fast at times, and yet so slow at times as well. God has really spoke to my heart during this time of short term mission trips and what, if anything is the point of them. Uh oh, I might have stepped on some toes there. I don't apologize and I will love to sit down and talk to those of you about it when I get home who are curious of what God has laid on my heart. I have learned what Kingdom living consists of and the beauty, as well as the battles it involves. Please continue to pray for me and our staff as we push through this last month or so. Specifics: energy to make it through the day, truth to be spoken to us and through us, intentional interactions, open doors, and a supernatural love which we can reflect to the people of Aliquippa. I cannot express to you haw thankful I am for those of you who have committed to me in prayer. This is the only thing that keeps me going throughout the days. I am having a great time here and I am so thankful that God has brought me here for a specific purpose. You are a treasure to me. Until next time, love deeply.

I Have No Words . . .

2009-06-27T11:29:00.001-07:00

Well, I said I would be real at the very beginning of this summer with these blogs, so here it goes. These last 4 or 5 days have been really, really hard here. The problem is that I have no words to explain the stage of brokenness that I am going through. First of all, I am fine, and I want everyone to know that; but I am struggling with certain situations here. I cannot seem to put into words what I am feeling, or to exactly know what those feelings consist of. I know that the feeling I have now, I have only gotten one other place and that is Africa. I can't seem to put a finger on it. Is it frustration for those who have no hope in themselves? Is it being pissed off for an older generation letting a younger generation down? Is it confusion in seeing how sin and bondage goes from generation to generation? I don't know. I have found myself the last couple of days just sitting in the presence of the Lord, I can't seem to muster out prayers, but I know I need to be in His presence. I also know He hears those silent moments before Him, the deep breaths, the tears, the heartache - He hears His children. I know I am learning something right now, but I do not exactly know what. I am sure when I look back on it, I will be able to express it, but right now I can't. I have found myself in specific situation this past week that I have never been in before; spiritual warfare is basically how I can explain it on this blog. I have never experienced spiritual warfare before as I have here. I cannot go into detail about it, but please keep me in your prayers.

That is where I am physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually, but I obviously want you to know what is going on with camp. The last days of camp for us were very trying. It seemed as though we were suspending kids left and right. We were faced with some very difficult decisions. As a staff, we were pretty discouraged. However, Thursday was probably our best day of camp - our camping trip was cancelled so we ended up going to a local state park. Even though the kids were super bummed, we had a cookout, and let the kids walk in the river for a good 3 or 4 hours. It was just a great time of staff and kids have tons of fun and wonderful fellowship. And I must say seeing inner city kids walking in a river was very amusing. My favorite quote of the day, "whose bright idea was it to put rocks on the bottom of a creek." I have some awesome pictures - those will just have to wait to be posted at the end of the summer. Leadership Camp is now over; we head into Green Team now on Monday. The way it has been explained to us is that we will basically be doing relational ministry for the rest of the summer. I am excited about that, but know it will bring many challenges.

Today a group of us are going to Pittsburgh and having dinner. I am extremely excited about it; to get out of the Quip and just enjoy each others company. I know this might have been a pretty heavy blog, but it is real. As I said before, I am ok, everything will be ok. I asked God going into this summer that He would draw me closer to Him no matter what it takes. He is doing just that. I praise God for what I am going through now - it is making me cling to Him constantly. I hope all is well in the dirty south or wherever you find yourself reading this. Specific prayer requests: ordained opportunities to share the gospel, intercession of the Holy Spirit through voice and situations, and for me to clearly see what I am supposed to be learning through the situations I face. I love ya'll incredibly. I am confident knowing people are praying for me. I cannot begin to express my appreciation for those of you who are praying. I need it. I covet those prayers. Until next time, love deeply.

Week 2, Day 1

2009-06-22T16:12:00.000-07:00

Today was a very long day. I am tired, very tired. My body feels worn down. I don't know if it is from a two hour ultimate game yesterday, half a day at the high ropes course, or all of the above. My heart is hurting due to a situation back home with one of my dear friends and I am repulsed at this very moment with how someone just represented the Kingdom. I just don't get it. However, I have to get to the core of this blog, because I only have 15 minutes.

Camp: we did not have too good of a day on Friday - we had 3 suspensions and the kids were pretty much out of control the entire day. Consequences were obviously put in place for these individuals. Today was a little better, spending time at the ropes course. We did the pamper pole. Basically, you climb a really high pole and jump off of it, putting your trust in all the kids (yikes). It was fun though, long, but fun. I know you're thinking, I wonder if she did it. Well freak yea I did it. It was awesome. I did a reenactment of skydiving. Hoollllerrr! Ah, crazy lady just came in here and told us 3 minutes. I'm going to have to carry this on some other time. Highlights of the weekend: Drea's back, homemade funnel cakes, ultimate, going to see my kids dance, a greek festival (kind of), and lots of laughs while walking all over the Quip! Until next time, love deeply.

The Start of Camp . . .

2009-06-18T16:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Thursday and we are almost done with our first week of camp. The Leadership Camp has been overall pretty dang good. Quite honestly today was a little challenging; the kids are starting to try us more and more as they get comfortable. However, there are definitely some kids who are really excelling. We are in the process if sewing seeds, rather than seeing the harvest . . . I'm completely at peace with that considering I work with age group throughout the year. One of my favorite times during the camp is small group discussion. The kids are really starting to open up to me. We have committed to each other and ourselves that small group time is a safe place, a real place where we can be raw with one another.

Yesterday we went to the ropes course. We prayed for sunshine, knowing a forecast of strong rain was expected. We had people praying for sun throughout the day. IT POURED! Ha! But God is sooo good and His plans are better than ours. Our kids responded in an unbelievable way. We were drenched the whole time and freezing cold, but our kids loved it. It is such a blessing to see and work with underprivileged kids who don't ever get to do the things we are doing through this camp. Their excitement and joy is pure and genuine. I cannot wait to go camping next Thursday and Friday. It will definitely be trying for our kids, but worth the trip.

God really spoke to me heart today. We have one kid in our camp that is completely defiant and disrespectful. My flesh wants to definitely get in his face and tell him a piece of my mind. (that was G rated for you). Throughout prayer today God spoke to me and said "see Him through my eyes." This is something I have prayed for numerous times for students I work with; without a doubt this may be my biggest challenge. I have also found myself getting impatient. If I am being real with ya'll, it is extremely hard to take a back seat and let others teach when you come from that background. I am asking for prayer in this area. I do not ever want to disrespect another person or step on others toes, I am here to grow just as everyone else. In saying that I need to learn how to approach people or bring issues to the table that need to be addressed. I feel as though I am just babbling here, but bottom line is I need some prayer in that area. Hey, I know the Holy Spirit will lead you in the direction you need to pray for me. Thank you ahead of time.

And that's it. I can't believe 3 weeks is already almost up. I am looking forward to God continuing to blow me away over the remaining weeks. Brokenness and restoration. I ask for it! I love ya'll and miss ya'll. Until next time, love deeply.

Jamyra, Shavar, and a Music Box

2009-06-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

Some of you maybe wondering why my title is what it is - well here is the reasoning: I am sitting in a room with two crazy kats that are on staff with me this summer, and one of them just asked where the music box was. Apparently a music box is a CD player! So that's that and one word to describe each of them from what I know: Jamyra, real; Shavar, genuine.

Sorry for being a little late on this blog. Our leadership has started really locking down on some rules due to a couple incidences this week. Basically, I am going to be a bit more limited on internet access starting next week. For one, we start camp and for two we are to be nowhere by ourselves. Before everyone starts freaking out on me, everything is ok. Well I say ok, in terms of knowing and resting in the protection of Christ. Along with that though, I know believers all around the world take the risk of safety to further the Kingdom. I will say again, what I have stated before in previous blogs, I have never felt threatened walking the streets here. I am at peace. I also know by saying that, things could change in a second. It's all good folks. When it is all said and done, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL!

Enough about that, we start camp on Monday. This past week we have been making house visits to all the kids and their families. It has been great getting to meet all of them. We all know how kids act in front of their parents, but they all seemed cool and pretty well mannered. Our LD (not learning disabled :)) (leadership development) team is really looking forward to starting. We have tons of fun activities planned in the next two weeks including cook outs, ropes course (low and high), service projects in Pittsburgh, along with a camping trip - yup 20+ inner city kids in the woods; it's going to be hilarious. We are faithful in prayer for these kids and for God to pierce their hearts in an unforgettable way. Please be in prayer for the students as we try and work life out together.

We were at a car wash all morning and early afternoon today raising money for our Belle Glade Mission trip at the end of July. Come to find out, we will be flying! Hooolllleerrr! My heart already cries out for the kids we will be working with, I see such potential and hope in their lives.

As for what God is doing in my heart, in addition to some more prayer requests. He has really been teaching me about intentional living and being aware of the times throughout the day when He wants to interrupt me. I praise Him for this. It is always the gentle whispers that give me goosebumps. We as a people get so caught up in doing this and doing that, we miss it, we miss Him. I'm tired of it and want to be in communion with Him through the day. Shavar, Shawna, Brian, Ester, and I consist of a small group. I might be bias here, but we have the best group balancing each other out :) - we're like a dysfunctional family - we are hilarious. Please pray for faithfulness in us to lift up our kids daily, for us to build empowering relationships, and for us to present God in such a way to them that they will not be able to deny Him. Thank you ahead of time for praying for me and the rest of our staff. I covet these prayers!

Well that's all for now folks - hope all is well with everyone out there. I kind of feel like I am in another country at times; we don't get out much. When I have down time, I really just like to chill and read, and debrief with Andrizzle. Good times, good times. Anyways, peace out and until next time love deeply!

Things I Take for Granted ...

2009-06-09T13:16:00.000-07:00

What up from the Quip! Alright, so it's weird the way you think (well, I actually think it's conviction from the Holy Spirit) when you are pulled away from your comfort zone to other places for a long amount of time. You start noticing things you take for granted, along with things you just need to truly appreciate and cherish more. To say the least I have noticed this during my short time in the Quip so far. This blog has kind of turned into a journal of some sort and why I am sharing some of these things with ya'll I don't know, but owell. I know ya'll are thinking I am about to get deep on you, which I am, but first I must admit that I take for granted my washing machine :) I hand washed my clothes for the first time this past weekend. It was really hard work, but I loved it and I plan to continue to do it throughout the summer (hmmmm - hold me to that). It definitely puts a lot of things in perspective for you considering the amount of people who do not have washers and dryers in their house.

Next, my family. I thank God for ya'll all the time, but we truly do not understand how much we cherish each other until we are pulled away from each other. I miss ya'll; the all day Sunday affairs, the random dinners, hugs from my Bubba and Blakey, and just the time we get to spend together. Please know that I love each of you in a way in which I will never really be able to express in words.

My Graystone folks - I apologize to you for taking you for granted. I know God has called me somewhere else in terms of worshipping, but it shouldn't be an excuse for us not to get together. I am pleading guilty here. I need to be better at intentional get togethers. I miss ya'll. I miss my B&N nights along with my Hail Mary nights, and also Thursday Starbucks and the Beekeepers!

360 - I've expressed what I needed to express to ya'll in a previous email :) :) you know I love ya'll and miss ya'll. Muahahahaha!

My Beautiful Sisters - I pray for you constantly and am confident that God is blowing each of you away. Even though I know you are in our Fathers hands, it does not take away the pain of not being able to pick up the phone and call. We've talked about this over and over again, and we have made it intentional to love each other deeply without judgement. This stands today and always will, through the ridiculous and hilarious memories to the not so good memories...even though they turned out to be good memories; kind of! Hahahaha. I love you!

I have met some beautiful people here and are surrounded with unbelievable neighbors which I will write more about later. One of my neighbors reminds me of my Grammy. Her name is Emma; such a soft and genuine spirit. I cannot wait to build a relationship with her and her husband (high school sweethearts, married 57 years). You gotta love the stoop talks.

As for how things are going - we have officially started planning for our camp starting next week. We will be in overdrive for those two weeks; ropes course training, camping (shut it with inner city kids - 20), and a whole lot of fun. If there is one (ok-2) things I would have to say the Lord is doing/teaching me right now, I would have to go with constant communion throughout the day, in addition with being intentional about specific things. Praise Him. I have a good core team consisting of 5 people, all with different personalities. But in a good way. I look forward to working with them throughout the summer. I think that is it for now. Oh, the rooming sitch you people have been asking about - ha. We finally migrated to the basement, so we look like Orphan Annie - its actually really funny, but we're all turning the 3rd floor to a prayer room which will be awesome. Remember we have 15 girls under one roof. Oh yea, and I found out I am going to Belle Glade, Fl the last week in July for a mission trip. Thats just a heads up. Ok, thats it - peace, love deeply!

Answers to Questions

2009-06-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

What up folks! This could be a long one. Sorry. I don't really know where to begin. Our week of training is over - and for someone who can't really focus past 20+ minutes - I am quite happy it is over. But the info given to us was very informative, so no complaints. I just went crazy in my seat - stand up, sit down, go to the bathroom ... ya'll know the routine! We're off to a basketball game in a bit - they are having it at the "Dump" - it's one of the courts in the neighborhood. I'm going to try and hit up some questions I've been asked:

General things: The town is very poverty stricken, but has so much hope. It's wierd walking the streets (which we do daily, it's awesome), because I can't help but think about things that could be cleaned up, tagged by local teens, stores brought back to life. Due to unemployment starting in I think 84 with the closing of the steel mill, along with a flood which came up from the sewer pipes in 02, businesses closed down. It is almost like a ghost town, as a local put it to me the other day. By the way his name was Grover.

Am I safe? We are definitely in an area where violence, drug deals, prostitution, and crime occurs, however I have not once felt unsafe walking through the hoods, or streets. Many of the neighborhood moms have told us to be in before dark, but I think that is to be expected. It truly is a beautiful town. People here are very friendly, and there is a sense of the older generation looking out for people they know do not live here year around. We are in constant prayer walking on the streets - God has without a doubt drawn me closer to Him with this and continues to bring me back to Phil. "pray without ceasing."

Funny stories yet? ABSOLUTELY!!!! Top favorite so far - I already told ya'll about the guy counting his quarter bags. 2 Days ago I went to shake a lady's hand and she was smoking some weed in her right hand and tried to hide it. I saw it, she saw me see it,and we both looked at each other and laughed and went on with our conversation. I cant write the rest of them, but they sure are funny.

Pictures? I havent quite felt out when it is right to take a pic and when it isnt. I have a couple which will come soon to give ya'll an idea of my surroundings.

How are you feeling with this? Good. I know God has me here for a specific reason, I am resting in that. Without a doubt, there is a spirit of oppression here. A couple of times people have made comments to our team, like there is no hope, get out of this hood, you cant change anyone - well, they are right - we cant change anyone, but our Lord and Savior can - and that's why we will remain in those hoods with our street presence. Yesterday I was walking with Drea and I said there just needs to be one good thing that happens to this place - very gently she said back to me, "there is." Needless to say, I was very humbled. But she is exactly right - the presence of God is working through this city - RESTORATION WILL COME! I was reading out of 1 Peter today - 2 scrips really hit home - "Above all love each other deeply," as well as, " Be self controlled and alert, Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." There is definitely spiritual warfare going on in the Quip - have faith, Jesus has claimed victory over this world, and that obviously includes the Quip!!! Praise Him! Love, not just love, but love deeply. Let us see out of the eyes of Jesus and love out of the heart of His Father. I believe the Lord will really reveal what it means to "deeply love" this summer.

One thing I want to also mention - there is a coffee shop called Uncommon Grounds here. It is amazing. Right in the middle of downtown. Strictly run on volunteers. Hold movie nights and open mic nights. Prices range from 25 cent drinks to $4 sandwiches, and coffee for about $1.25. I walked in the other day and two of the local boys were mopping the floor. You can go up to the counter and ask for a drink and they'll say "yea sure you can have it, but how do you make it." Due to the fact all of the workers are volunteers it kind of makes it quite humorous. But wow, this is what God intended community to be. The owners of the shop are 2 Australian individuals who are committed to Christ and this community - I cannot wait to hear more about their story. Quite honestly it reminds me of a God sized vision soon to be attained by 2 of my beautiful friends . . . JuJa Java shout out right there!

Alright, that's it for now - off to the basketball game. Please pray for specific crossing of paths with people, for God to continue to reveal Himself, and that the people of the Quip along with the staff would be brought to our knees by His presence. Love ya'll and thank you ahead of time for your prayers. Each of you are a blessing to me. It does get hard up here only really truly knowing one person and having only one person really know me (shout out to Drea, if you're reading this - holler and thanks for everything!), but I am overwhelmed and encouraged knowing people are praying for me and that God has surrounded me with a group of solid believers here. Until next time, love deeply!

Arrived Safe and Sound

2009-06-03T15:53:00.000-07:00

What up folks, just wanted to let you know that I am suffering through cramps that I never get to write this thing! Anyways, I got here Sunday with no problems with the exception of Mr. Stupid AirTran man charging me $40 for my suitcase being 1 inch too long - I'm bitter - whatever!

It is beautiful here - there are 15 girls (i think we have 29 staff members over all) staying in our house with 2 bathrooms. I'm not going to tell you my living situation right now, because it may change due to the elders' brains in our house being creative (that's me and a couple of others) ... I'll keep you guessing. We have been in training all week from about 8:30 to 8:30 each day - I have learned that peeps from Bible college think at a completely different level than me. I am the only one that hasn't gone to a Bible college; however, there are some B.C drop outs! Everyone seems real cool! I hope it doesn't turn out to be like the show Real World where everyone is cool the first week and then they start throwing chairs at each other toward the end of the show. We walk everywhere - I love it! We did "observation" of the city the other day and that was awesome! Everyone is on their stoops - and if you really know me, you know I have always wanted a stoop. Got to play with some of the kids last night, which was a saving grace to me, due to all the training. I will talk about all the poverty in a later blog when I am feeling better. Sorry this one is short, but again I'll write more this weekend hopefully. I'll leave you with two highlights . . .

1. Our neighbors name is Margo - we went to say hi to her yesterday and she came to the door in her night gown. The dog Jingles got out. (I don't know why I just shared that with ya'll) - it was really funny though!

2. While we were walking our "observations" we walked by a bunch of people. All the older ladies would ask, "watch ya'll doin her, you ok" "get in before dark." They were funny - already seen the racism in the cops here in the city - BUTTHEADS!!! Also, walked by a guy who was counting his quarter bags in his hand - no shame!

That's it for now - please continue to pray for our staff and ripened hearts of the people in this city. Thank you so much! Deuces!

1 More Day

2009-05-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

So here are the facts:

1. God has called me to the Quip this summer.
2. I will miss my family.
3. I will miss my friends.
4. God has called me to the Quip this summer.

I cannot wait to start this journey that God has for me this summer. Though it will be hard to leave my crew at the Twenty One Cotton Crib, I have to do what I have to do. I heard this quote once..."Ships are safe when anchored at the dock; but that's not what ships were made for." Talk about speaking the truff there! I know I am in for a lot of brokenness and restoration this summer; and I hope to be able to blog about it. However, remember folks I don't know how often I will have internet access, so don't send me any threats about updating this blog I was peer pressured to start! About this little blog anyway ... my vision for it is basically to be real, to be raw. I don't want a blog that just talks about roses and daisies. Some of what I write might bring laughter, some of what I write might bring smiles, some of what I write might bring tears, some of what I write might bring frustration, some of what I write just might piss you off - just please know as believers I think we try too much to cover up the rawness in our life to make everything look good. That's not what Jesus calls us to do. He calls us to be transparent, to hold one another accountable, to love, to empower.

Some of you have asked about prayer requests - I am going to list the top 5 going into the summer, but I am sure it will change soon.

1. Adhering and submitting completely to the Spirit.
2. That God would draw me closer to Him no matter what it takes. (SCARY)
3. Ordained opportunities to speak the Truth. (softened hearts in the city of Aliquippa)
4. Unity, servanthood, community; what this looks like and that we as a staff would live it.
5. Being Throne focused.

Thank you so much in advance. I will truly need prayer daily. I don't plan on blogging again before I leave, so who knows when this thing will be updated. Until next time, deuces!

And The Journey Begins

2009-05-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

So I'm starting this blog for the simple reason that I'm not one to pick out everyone's email and and send them an in depth update on what God is doing in my life. So this way, you can check it out if you want. I will first say that I have no idea how much internet access I will have over the summer. Ha, this could be my very first and very last time blogging. I actually love that thought. For those of you who do not know, I will be spending the summer in The Quip; Aliquippa, Pennsylvania. Yup, this is where it will all go down in the next two months.
PRAY FOR THE PEOPLE OF ALIQUIPPA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot wait to live with and serve the people of this city. I'm trying to think of an in depth first post I can write, but its 11:22 pm and way past my bed time. I'll hit this up one more time before I leave on Sunday.